(vegan) I hope your power runs out 

thats fuckin nice and all but the chicken is already in the nuggets. the power going out doesn’t save a chicken. it’s a nugget already. sorry

I love this post because they said (Vegan) like its a fallout skill check

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

no one tell him

Scheduling this to post on March 15 because it needs to happen.

March 15 again and here we go…

march fifteenth

The fifteenth of March

day 15!!

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

they need to make an app for the mentally ill …

this is the app we r on it rn babe

I taught my kid that swear words (important note: this does not include derogatory names for groups of people) are just words that can carry a social consequence. When you are a child, this consequence isn’t on you, as much as it is on your parents, who are responsible for you. As such, parents usually just ask their kids not to swear. Instead of that, I told him to ask me before he swore so I could explain the potential social consequences and we could make the decision together. So far, he’s asked a handful of times if he could swear at Trump while we watched the news. I found this perfectly acceptable, so he got to say “Ｆｕｃｋ trump”. Once when he dislocated his knee, he asked to swear - I said yea, he yelled “HOLY SHIT OUCH” and I asked if it made him feel better, he said it did. Once in traffic someone almost hit us and he asked to swear, I said yes - he said “That guy is an ASSHOLE” and I was like, yeah. 100% he was. He’s never asked to swear at a time that I felt was inappropriate. I have 0 regrets about this parenting decision.

dont get me wrong this is #mood but just try eating a piece of bread with salt. please, seriously. ok? at least a tiny bit. salt helps with nausea, bread calms the stomach acid. if you really can’t face eating anything, just lick some salt like a damn elk, then wait and see if you can manage the bread. make some broth if you’re into that kind of thing. no spices, yes salt. if you’re feeling too weak and shaky to do much, just have a cup of tea with sugar (energy) and lemon (again, good against nausea). nibble on the lemon first, it will feel good, but don’t overdo - citric acid on an empty stomach is a majorly bad idea. take care of yourself, you’re the only you we’ve got

“You’re the only you we’ve got”

“just lick some salt like a damn elk” is the new “touch grass”

one time i was super dizzy so my girlfriend handed me a (new) salt lick she’d gotten for the horse and it’s embarrassing how well it worked

i actually really love how realistic haikyuu is. Many didn’t make it to Nationals. They had to practice and practice for new techniques. They screwed up OFTEN. Even after loads of determination and hard work, they still didn’t get what they wanted. The current concerns!! “my sister thinks im lame” “my hair looks bad” Like bestie you don’t get that anywhere else. Like none of the main teams won the national tournament. Oh and also it showed how being in a sports club gets u zero bitches

it’s a shame how tiny the night agent fandom is :(

The Night Agent fandom here on tumblr is way too tiny... where are my people at? how are you not addicted to this show? are you okay without it being part of your life? cause i don't think I can go back to before I knew about it 😂

2018 was five years ago let that sink in

no no guys you don’t get it i made this fucking post in 2018. as a joke. i was like hah could you imagine it being 2023? could never be me! and then completely forgot until right now when someone reblogged it and i was forced to face the horror that it is, in fact, the year 2023 right now.

Posts that are better with timestamps enabled

Reblog if it is infact, the year 2023 right now

Kids today thought I was an absolute superstar because I had 1.) a leather jacket 2.) silver cowboy boots and 3.) A KNIFE which I used to cut open insect galls lol.

They kept asking me if THEY could have pocket knives and I was like. Do I look like Knife Santa???

You kind of did look exactly like I would imagine knife santa to look though

ok touché

I just need to know who knife santa gives knives to, how do I qualify?

anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians