Let's go somewhere else

But Edwin and Charles have a really clear pattern of not pushing each other on painful topics. Charles badgers Edwin about the Cat King, but drops it every time Edwin starts to get defensive. Charles brushes Edwin off about his dad, and Edwin changes the subject. They keep trying, but they don't force the issue.

I suspect that habit of stepping lightly around each other's pain, that willingness to leave each other's scars alone, was essential in the beginning, when Edwin was freshly out of hell and Charles was recently murdered and only slightly less recently living with an abusive parent. I think if Edwin were someone who made a habit of pinning Charles down on things that hurt - Charles whose main coping mechanism is to paste on a smile and look for the bright side, who needs more than anything to feel in control and trusted and like he's doing something good in the world so that he doesn't have to dwell on the bad shit - they'd never have made it to this point.

And I do think in that moment on the cliff that Charles needed someone to push past his apparent rejection and tell him that they'll love him no matter how hard he pushes them away, as Edwin belatedly manages to do at the end of Ep 5.

But I don't think it was going to happen under these conditions. That's the tragedy of it - that from our omniscient position, having seen what Charles just experienced, we can guess he might need that extra push. That after 30 years, Edwin could probably get away with that in a way that he couldn't have in the beginning, in the way that Crystal has been failing to get away with all episode.

LETS GOOO pages 1-14/???

Love For Hire is finished!

I had so much fun with this fic and everybody reading and commenting was so lovely. This fandom is just the best! 💀❤️

If you don't know it yet, "Love For Hire" is what I lovingly called "the modern fake dating AU nobody asked for"!

Here some stats:

Rating: M

Pairing: payneland, background palasaki

Spice factor: A bit spice, fade to black

Tropes: fake dating, idiots in love, punk Charles, ballet dancer Edwin, Crystal not being paid enough to deal with those two clowns

Inspiration: stupid and fun 90'/00s romantic comedies

Triggers: implied/referenced child abuse, bullying, panic attacks and anxiety. Nothing explicit is shown and the individual chapters have trigger warnings in the beginning notes as necessary.

Length: 118k (10 chapters + epilogue)

Fun fact: 258 uses of the word "fuck" and variants thereof

Summary:

“A deal. You pretend to be my boyfriend for a few weeks, show up at my house, escort me to social functions and such. Your overall person, manner and opinions should be enough to truly scandalise my parents. You will only need to be yourself, only less... charming.”

Charles gave him a bright grin. “You think I’m charming?”

Edwin ignored him. “And I will act all smitten with you. When they offer you the money to break up with me – and rest assured, throwing money at problems is their only way of handling anything – you will take it. I shall be horribly heartbroken to make them feel guilty and any subsequent romantic partner who is a bit more... mellow than you will be quite welcome.”

Charles stared at him, unsure of how he could’ve ever thought of Edwin Payne as innocent. “Damn... you are a conniving little bastard, aren’t you?”

---------------

Deadboyween Day 2 - Comfort

@asidian has wrote an AMAZING accompanying fic for these

~❣~The Root of the Root and the Bud of the Bud~❣~

(I missed day 1 but you get 4 pics for day 2 so...)

-

Charles, Edwin, and Monty (Pirate AU: Chapter 3)

Charles still likes Monty, in some fashion. It isn’t the love that Monty has for Charles, he understands- love is for Edwin, not the boy Charles brought with him to this ship- but it is clear affection. Fondness. The sort of feeling that causes a smile to lift to Charles’ lips when he sees Monty, like it does now when Charles sits down on the bench next to Monty, plastering himself to Monty’s side by slinging an arm around his torso and leaning his head against Monty’s shoulder, just like he does playfully with Edwin sometimes during mealtimes, usually earning himself a fond roll of the eyes and a small smile from their Captain. “Aw,” Charles says, “You guys are having a meeting of the Survived-Esther-Finch club without me?”

And god, Monty will do anything to keep that smile on Charles’ face. To never again force him to do anything like what he had to do during that storm.

“More like permanently-scarred-by-Esther-Finch club,” Jenny says, nodding to Charles’ neck, where some of the scabs from the collar are fading into scars that will match the one on Monty’s cheek. “God, most fucked up club I've ever been a part of,” she adds as Monty offers up his bottle of ale to Charles.

-aletterinthenameofsanity, picture a man turning back to shore (I can only think of you)

In the clearing stands a boxer

And a fighter by his trade

And he carries the reminders

Of every glove that laid him down

And cut him 'til he cried out in his anger and his shame

I am leaving, I am leaving

But the fighter still remains

-Mumford & Sons, The Boxer

@deadboy-edwin @icecreambrownies @anonymousbooknerd-universe @ashildrs

@fandoms-princess @orpheusetude @jaysbraindump

@pappelsiin @itsbitmxdinhere @rexrevri @sweet-like-h0ney-lavender @saffirez

@the-ipre @sunnylemonss @days-light @agentearthling @helltechnicality

@sethlost @catboy-cabin @secretlyafiveheadeddragon @vyther15

@anything-thats-rock-and-roll @queen-of-hobgobblers @every-moment-a-different-sound

@nix-nihili @mellxncollie @tumblerislovetumblerislife @lemurafraidofthunder

@likemmmcookies @wr0temyway0ut @thelakeswillbreakourfall

Monty, Charles, and Edwin (Cinderella AU: Chapter 3)

Monty looks at Charles, Charles who is kinder to Monty than anyone who has ever been, Charles who is all things bright and good, Charles who will be the consort that Edwin deserves, and Monty doesn't want to ruin Charles’ evening just because Monty is nauseous and Simon was only lashing out at Monty because he couldn’t lash out at Charles, who so clearly holds Edwin’s favor, so he found what he thought to be a crack.

Monty can’t say what Simon said about him. He refuses to be the crack in Edwin’s armor. He refuses to let Simon’s childish insult be the thing that gets under Charles and Edwin’s skin.

And also, to be practical- why tell Charles about the rumors that Monty is sure he already knows about?

So instead, Monty just shakes his head. “Nothing that important,” Monty says, “Just something about how he would have gotten the cat to pick him.” Because that’s why Simon says what he does, right? Because he thinks Edwin should have chosen him.

Charles flashes Monty that sun-bright smile as they pass by Edwin and Crystal, dancing together and trading quick conversation about something regarding the border. “Trust me,” Charles says, “There were only two people at that ball that the cat would have chosen, and he was already engaged to one of them."

-aletterinthenameofsanity, i blink in sight, your blinding light (but you're good to me)

I will tell you I love you

But the muffs on your ears will cater your fears

My nose and feet are running as we start

Please, take my hand, we're in foreign land

As we travel through snow

Together we go

-twenty one pilots, Oh Ms Believer

@deadboy-edwin @icecreambrownies @anonymousbooknerd-universe @ashildrs

@tragedy-machine @orpheusetude @jaysbraindump

@pappelsiin @itsbitmxdinhere @rexrevri @sweet-like-h0ney-lavender @saffirez

@the-ipre @sunnylemonss @days-light @agentearthling @helltechnicality

@sethlost @catboy-cabin @secretlyafiveheadeddragon @vyther15

@anything-thats-rock-and-roll @queen-of-hobgobblers @every-moment-a-different-sound

@nix-nihili @mellxncollie @tumblerislovetumblerislife @lemurafraidofthunder

@likemmmcookies @wr0temyway0ut @thelakeswillbreakourfall

Charles, Monty, and Edwin (Model/Designer AU)

So Charles offers out a hand, palm up, across the table.

Monty’s eyes widen slightly, but he does take Charles’ hand, and it’s easy as anything, for Charles’ fingers (cricket callouses long worked away by the lotion Niko insisted on him trying to prep him for potential photoshoots) to rest against Monty’s hand, those needle-prick callouses the only sign that he might work for one of the many fashion companies that litter this street.

(And god, it’s not just easy- there’s a thrill that goes down Charles’ spine at the touch that’s as heady as when Edwin adjusts a pin or smiles at him. A desire to kiss away the shadows under Monty's eyes, to hold him close, to do anything to relieve his stress and just love him.

But it’s something that Charles can’t want, and so he doesn’t dare linger in it.)

-aletterinthenameofsanity, looking good and feeling fine (zip me up, it can't be wrong)

There's an aching, there's a hole in my chest

It's amazing that the crown of a king doesn't change me

Baby, we all want, we all need, fashion

Have I lost control?

A voice says I might need my soul

But that's when I remember

That we all want, we all need, fashion

-Jon Bellion, Fashion

@deadboy-edwin @icecreambrownies @anonymousbooknerd-universe @ashildrs

@tragedy-machine @orpheusetude @jaysbraindump

@pappelsiin @itsbitmxdinhere @rexrevri @sweet-like-h0ney-lavender @saffirez

@the-ipre @sunnylemonss @days-light @agentearthling @helltechnicality

@sethlost @catboy-cabin @secretlyafiveheadeddragon @vyther15

@anything-thats-rock-and-roll @queen-of-hobgobblers @every-moment-a-different-sound

@nix-nihili @mellxncollie @tumblerislovetumblerislife @lemurafraidofthunder

@likemmmcookies @wr0temyway0ut @thelakeswillbreakourfall