LemonPlanter

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

hi im your cat do you mind if i touch your coffee. do you mind if i put my whole foot in your coffee

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

in chess the queens can kill each other which is toxic yuri and the kings can never get within a square of each other which is doomed yaoi

i ca;nt bleiev clowns r real.;;; wha tthe fuck….

DID YOU JUST DISCOVER MIRRORS?

SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scrolling tumblr as foreplay before AO3 send tweet.

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

do not come to my house pouring big cups of juice like this

why did you take this screenshot in a sinister fog?

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa

Some people can rotate a cube in their mind. I can rotate multiple cubes. In my stomach. I swallowed some dice

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

(flirting) I could worship you in ways that would make churches look useless.