time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

Haha! Not where I thought this was going 😃😭🙏

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

i don't care what those tiktok and instagram influencers tell you, have three meals a day!!! have a snack!! have that sweet treat!! have food that makes you feel good!!! especially if you're a woman!! starving yourself to look "desirable" will only make you desirable to people who want you to stay malnourished forever. it's a cycle of misery!!

Not everyone can easily come up with ideas for things to post every day

then just don't??

you obviously dont have 100+ followers and need to keep them happy

i didnt realize the situation you were in and i apologize for the callout

can youguys do me a favor and send a lot of hate mail to this user

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

Free service with no ads: Okay so these guys are stealing my data

i think everyone in the whole world forgot that mystery doesn’t have to equal crime

sometimes it’s just like. what happent ?

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

I SAID HOLD STILL

english major macklemore: i read your granddad’s prose

therapist macklemore: i hear your granddad’s woes

coffee enthusiast macklemore: i drink your granddad’s joes

body mod shop owner macklemore: i pierce your granddad’s nose

pizza chef macklemore: i knead your granddad’s doughs

television network executive macklemore: i make your granddad’s shows

wildlife rehabilitator macklemore: i feed your granddad’s crows

blanket maker macklemore: i knit your granddad’s throws

sir mackle the more, knight of the great kingdom of seattle: i slay your granddad’s foes

rapper macklemore: i spit your granddad’s flows

NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE REBLOGGED THIS WITH AN ADDITION INCLUDING “TOES”: 7

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

the backrooms are simply not as scary conceptually if there is Something In Them

the whole reason why they're so unnerving is BECAUSE there's nothing in them!! because they're unrelentingly liminal and lonely and uncomforting. there shouldn't be a monster guy in there chasing you. you should glimpse other humans (?) from a distance but they walk away before you can close the gap and then they're gone. things should run away from YOU. do u get it

"and there was a MONSTERowooowwohhhh" the monster is isolation and banal beige sameness and uncanny valley architecture. you fool. you rube. you're putting a hat on a hat and the second hat is not only unnecessary but it ruins the first hat!!!!!!! "there's a monster in there" great so now it's just another place for a monster to be. ridiculous