professionally late to everything

ur government assigned gender for the day is the first thing u get when u click this link to a randomised wikipedia article. NO REROLLS . i am the  trollsteineggje mountain in norway

we desperately need sex 2

i just know someone's going to mention kink. girl that's still sex 1. we had to invent BDSM cause we didn't have sex 2. tis but a pale reflection. but it's coming

kink reaches mayyybe like sex 1.3 if it hits just right

when sex 2 comes out what sorts of quality of life updates will be included to help draw in people who never really got into sex 1

more pleasurable. more intellectually stimulating. higher skill ceiling. more dynamic metagame. optionally more mental-emotional alignment between parties. less cleanup. more intuitive. more variety in sensation and activity to match diverse sensory tendencies. smoother integration with parties' coupled emotional processing. and so on

Fishing minigame.

Fishing minigame

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

[Image description: Grace from Project Hail Mary sitting on the simulated beach in the mental health node. A plaque that says, "In a dream you saw a way to survive and you were full of joy." He sees a figure far off in the distance that looks vaguely like his future self. End description].

i'd make a joke about "let the HUSBAND giggle under the covers and tell HIS WIFE to put that camera away before dying before HIS WIFE'S story starts" but lets be real he'd still get more fanart

The best thing about tumblr is you can just make a criticism of a very specific person completely unprompted and then that person will appear as if summoned in your notes to prove your point for you.

Tbh I don’t think it’s wrong to suggest that it’s healthy to try and read books from different genres and branch out beyond your comfort zone as long as we’re also saying that to men who only read podcast bro self help books as much as we’re saying it to women who only read romantasy

mom said it's my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

that wasn’t mom

people of colour deserve to be able to enjoy fluff and escapism and transformative media and silly fandom stuff the same way that everyone else is allowed to, i think. there’s a lot of unexamined hostility toward anyone who isn’t white; sometimes it’s subtle, and sometimes it’s not. there needs to be far more love and support for poc, and far less defensiveness and tolerance regarding racism in spaces like these.

the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ

[ID: Tumblr tags reading, "every 6 months or so a random poster gets possessed by those demons that gives you clairvoyance at the cost of ur sanity to pull a string of words to describe pearl steven universe in the most unhinged way possible" /End ID]

my dead wife. the ad free internet