The Least Haunted Podcast

the sun is a sickly orange color today with a haze of smog blurring its edges. it truly looks like something you would use in a scifi movie to clue the audience in that something has gone very wrong

Anyone else noticed the air is unbreathable and the food is poison and the sun is blocked out of the sky

i have a suggestion

wtf are you talking about, they didn't "deplete" the nature of their country, they cultivated their wilderness over centuries into some of the most idyllic pastoral landscapes in the entire world. And they did such a good job of it that the phrase "English countryside" is now synonymous with beauty and serenity and peacefulness. They didn't destroy their country's nature, they became its caretaker, they're right to be proud of it. All you're doing is pretending that the only kind of nature that should count is whatever is completely untouched by human hands.

There’s a lot wrong with the US but watching the big evil terf lady weaponize UK libel laws so much makes me glad that it’s nearly impossible to sue someone for libel here

Watching UK people being legally forced to walk back tweets makes me glad I can say with no ambiguity that JK Rowling is an evil transphobic invader from Mars intent upon poisoning the minds of the youth with her evil brain mold laser

She’s also a muppet movie villain

Reminder that spring will always come back, music will never stop being created, and there are still so many books left to read! You’re alive! You’re alive! You’re alive!

Oh and the road infrastructure project is buying up resources other people could have used for literally anything else. With money they promise they'll be making from Wide Car sales any day now.

Okay so what I'm getting from the notes is that when you try to transplant some techbro nonsense into an offline equivalent, you have to be careful to avoid simply inventing something the Americans are already doing in real life

I’m the real estate agent that sells obviously haunted houses to nice white families that want to get away from it all.

I would like to give you my business. I’m tryin to die penniless and leave nothing but a found footage film to my kids in the will

Then oh boy, do I have the forest cottage for you! Far from anyone that could help you, it has a gorgeous view of a lake where dozens of people have gone missing. There’s a rumor of a killer that raises from the water, but this place has an excellent porch

Is there a small, dark washing room in the basement corner that’s at least ten degrees colder than the rest of the house? That’s a must.

Yes. And there’s a latch window that always seems to swing open in the middle of the night.

Wonderful! I especially love how cell receptionist patchy at best, making any attempted outgoing call to the police as dramatic as possible.

I think you’ll also love how it’ll immediately become pitch black as soon as the clock strikes 5:00 pm no matter the time of year. There’s also no stars for some reason.

Did the previous owner leave any religious iconography that could slowly appear to distort and corrupt over time, or will I need to furnish that myself?

Let’s just say I definitely didn’t put these area rugs here myself to cover a few ornate symbols drawn in blood 😇

You’ve got a sale!

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

Hell yeah moon holiday

Ooh coming up we should celebrate

IT'S COMING

Happy moon landing day

Sign O’ the Times