Learn to be still

south park set american culture back by like ten years by teaching a generation of white boys that offending oppressive white christians and offending oppressed minorities is the same exact thing & being asked to examine your behavior is the most outrageous imposition possible

It’s ok, you can say Amazon.

THIS IS IT. IVE FOUND THE FUNNIEST THING ON THIS PLANET.

How did you know if you dialed the right number

each button made a different tone so the numbers you dialed a lot became a subconscious melody in your head and if you hit the wrong button by accident it would sound like a wrong note in a song you know by heart

i can’t beleive that is a legitimate question in my lifetime

Other acceptable answer: the wrong person answers on the other end.

Another acceptable answer: the robot lady comes on the phone and tells you number doesn’t exist.

When shaggy and scooby run from a monster in terror, they always run side-by-side and if great danes can run 30-40mph that makes shaggy the fastest person alive beating Usain Bolt at 27mph.

Thought: I do NOT think that 50% of the world’s billionaires should be women. I think there shouldn’t be any billionaires at all.

So you are saying 0% of the world should be billionaires?

Yes.

Why shouldn’t their be billionaires? That makes no sense.

The problem with this is that it reduces the incentive to actually do fiscally well. What’s the point of starting a business if you can’t become wealthy?

There is a very real difference between “reasonably wealthy” and A BILLIONAIRE

No one is saying you shouldn’t have a nice house, we are saying that having multiple really, really ridiculously nice houses while your employees are either homeless or at serious risk of becoming homeless is immoral.

I’ll never understand why this concept is hard for people. I think it’s because they can’t actually fathom how much $1 Billion is.

the fact that 15 year olds have more money than me because they lip synced to the weekend asking for coochie on musically makes me want to use my eyes as martini decorations

Katie didn’t deserve this…

Says the person who misspelled her name...

I miss New York.