Lavander Archives

It was good. I already broke the rule of no sugary drinks after my run because I was used to it, so I had to adjust my diet based on that.

Intermittent fasting:check( the hardest part is going through the start, but I feels like my body remembers that it’s part of our habits)

Meal plan: 2 full meals focused on protein intake( ground beef) and I had a snack and chocolate milk after my run cause it was over an hour, but we adjusted

Water intake: here is where it gets tricky for me, I’m not used to so much water, felt like I had to go to the bathroom a million times, but we made it

Currently reading: the brother’s Karamazov by Dostoyevsky

Page 203

Exercise:

10k steps in

Went for an hour long run

I also set up my app, I’m using reset75, so far I like it

And I set up structured( a task tracking app) to the new habits

So far I feel really motivated even if it took some convincing to drag my body out of bed rotting

But the cravings are still here, today’s top star of fantasy food land is fries

With cheese

And bacon

I guess this will be a nightmare for a few nights

The craving passed

We restarted the habit, but this is day one for me to get back into the routine that’s good for my body.

This is not about weight loss, or body image, it’s about hormone regulation.

So I decided that I’m going to start 75 medium.

When I was researching about habits, you always hear that you need 20 days to build a habit. But it’s not true. You need 20 days to convince your body that this is a permanent fixture in your routine, but habits are honestly built since the moment you decide to stop a behavior that you know is harmful and start one, that even if it’s hard, it’s better for you.

A lot of research shows that it it’s a battle, because survival for your brain is also keeping energy stored for “emergency”, resting the body for fight or flight when needed. Your brain can’t get out of that cycle by being confortable.

But at the same time, pushing your body into crazy diets and excessive exercise plans is not sustainable in the long term.

My diet is already supposed to be semi keto, low carbs but still present, higher protein and higher fiber, calorie deficit, with controlled schedule, which aligns a lot with the purpose of 75 medium.

The rules for my challenge

1. Workout everyday day for a minimum of 40 minutes, can be inside or outside

2. Eating plan with no junk foods or artificial sweets, with a rest day every week ( not a cheat day)

No soda o sugary drinks

3. Set up a schedule:

Sleep a minimum of 7 hours

Wake up at the same time everyday ( 7 am for me)

Set up a eating window ( because I do intermittent fasting for hormone regulation)

4. Water intake

Drink a minimum of 2 L a day

5. Personal growth

A minimum of 20 pages from a non Fantasy book daily

One hour study of German language

6. Tracking

I don’t like the daily picture idea, so I’m going to track in an app about my routine, and take a weekly pic for me, still not sure if I’ll post it here

Also I’m going to try to post about how I felt every day, what type of exercise I did and my diet here every day to track not only the habit building process but the emotional part of it.

It’s also to make me accountable for comitting to this and see it to completion.

I took a break for a week cause I was on holiday and now I’m fighting for my life trying not to order junk food at 11 pm while also not thinking that my craving makes me a failure 🙂🙃

It’s killing me

My brain is definitely not happy about not getting the stimulus that junk food gets it and that I got it for a week

Definitely getting back into my normal routine is harder than I expected, because honestly, I love food, and a pizza rn sounds like heaven.

Also not getting my exercise for a week has fucked me up

Like I know I need to get my life in order and it will get easier in like 7-12 days, but if you think about it, it’s a really long time to feel non murderous about melted cheese and fries

And the worst part is that, I know if I don’t start today, it’s going to be even longer till I start feeling like a human again( with this I mean, not feeling like I have to fight my body), so I know that I need to distract myself and shut it, it’s just hard to do.

Also being in this type of diets is scary, we live in a society where being thin is considered the beauty standard, we’ve gone from body positivity to curvy to ozempic frenzy thin, and my biggest fear is falling into that.

A scary to hug me

A necklace to protect me

A sweater to keep me warm

Shoes to guide my way

Pants to keep me brave

I cover myself in her love, to remind me that it was there, that hopefully it will still be there when we manage to fix things

It’s a reminder that everything can be alright

That I can come home again

There is still a lot of prejudice regarding neurodiversity.

I was a late diagnosis( I mask like a queen), and when I got it, there was so much relief, my oddness had a name, a name I shared with countless others.

For me, being neurodivergent was a gift, I always thought that is was God’s way of making my brain a little more colorful, more conscious; a brain made to notice the little details of his creation, a brain that marvels easily, that lives differently but beautifully.

My ADHD was never a curse for me. It was just another characteristic of who I am.

Now I’m not sure if I disclose it as an apology for my oddness again. A little disclaimer of “ here’s why”

Am I the only one ?

I don’t want to feel like my beautiful gift is something I have to apologize for, but maybe our world is not ready yet to relearn that what makes us different is a strength and not a weakness.

Neurodiversity, before it had a name, was cherished, we where the hunters, the artists, the scientists, the curious, the dreamers, the ones thinking outside the box. We were freer without the label, even if sometimes those labels make us feel like we belong somewhere or to something.

This isn’t an attempt to romanticize it, it’s just saying, the human condition is a lot more fluid and colorful that we’d like to admit.

The thing is, crystal can take any form.

We are adaptable, resilient, and transparent with what we want.

There’s so much slander for Gen Z being crystal… but that is, in my humble opinion, our biggest strength.

Villain era arc

Don’t heal

Don’t be patient

Just existing without apology