comic by @hausofdecline
Misplaced Lens Cap
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oozey mess

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occasionally subtle
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bliss lane
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#extradirty
almost home
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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official daine visual archive
Cosmic Funnies

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@latenightramen
comic by @hausofdecline

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Joker flavored Mountain Dew called Haha Blast
I hope when you descend to the lowest circle of hell, the ashes of your dearest loved ones staining your eyes red, that it will sting, and the pain will remind you of me before you are reduced to the nothingness of nonexistence.
Shrek flavored Sprite called Shite
Unpopular opinion: Being intelligent isn’t an excuse for being unkind.
Pretentious asshole is OUT! Pretentious Sweetheart is IN! Wearing dapper clothes and holding the door open for others makes you feel COOL AS H*CK! Glance up from your hefty books to give a stranger a smile!! Quote literature to inspire others! Be presumptuous in the way that you presume that everyone needs their day to be a little brighter!!!
Administration showed us this tweet on day one of grad school and boy did it hit home
“distinguished yourself by being kind” is my literal life motto at work, holy shit
has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing
“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”
my promising gardening career was cut short when i was mauled by a rampaging basil plant

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Video games peaked in 2006 when in lego star wars the original trilogy, they couldn't have the iconic dialogue of darth vader telling luke skywalker he's his father because lego games didn't have dialogue at the time. So they just had to have vader point to a fuckin photograph of anakin and a pregnant padme
i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.
posts that make you want to get in the water
at least now we know why he has yet to return when Britain is in peril
We need a flick where King Arthur wakes in modern Jamaica and is very confused.
I think that would be so much funny. He wakes up on a remote beach in Jamaica and he only speaks/understands Brythonic and Medieval Latin. Locals assume he was a tourist who fell from a cruise ship or received a head injury and floated away from a resort. The authorities cannot match his description to any missing persons reports and his fingerprints and DNA produce no hits on INTERPOL. They suspect he may be Welsh or French because the language he speaks resembles Welsh or Breton but France and the UK both state he is not a citizen of their country. Stateless and deeply confused, he is taken in by the community near the beach where he was found, being cared for by a number of local families and doing odd jobs. He slowly learns English and adjusts to the contemporary world, uncertain if his belief that he is the legendary King Arthur was formed by whatever traumatic event caused him to end up Jamaica or if he is actually King Arthur and Prydain is in eminent peril. Mysterious letters from Morgan begin to reaffirm his belief he is King Arthur. He must choose between staying in Jamaica and continuing the happy life he has made for himself or finding a way to get back to Britain without any documentation.
ancient king white boy stuns locals by ordering in perfect Jamaican Patois
He gets to Britain and everyone expects him to sound like a posh noble Englishman because that is the picture Malory painted but he prefers to speak Welsh and when he has to speak English, he speaks with a thick Jamaican accent.
[Getting so angry it makes my brain disease worse] people sre supposed to be nice..
“so this week my town made the news for—” nope
“there’s a restaurant two miles from my house called—” nope
“today I learned [celeb] went to my high school—” nope nope nope nope nope
these are all real posts I’ve seen on the internet that allowed me to identify a user’s hometown instantly. if it’s a small town, that’s doubly dangerous, because a bad actor could trace you just by a unique first name or selfie you once posted. in an age where doxxing and stalking are some of the worst I’ve ever seen it, you HAVE to think twice about what you’re posting online.
i once saw a 13-year old post an image they noted as being “a few miles from their house.” it had a theater in the shot with a unique enough name to be local. one google maps search, now everyone knew not only what city they lived in, but the possible neighborhoods in that radius too. and they had a HUGE following…who all knew this was a 13-year-old child.
so yeah. not to sound like a 90s internet safety PSA…but I’m gonna be that PSA for a minute.
if you’re posting an image, there is NO need to say that you live there. you could just be traveling. “saw this in Montana” is better than “saw this by my house!”
before you post about a venue, especially a restaurant or small store, check and see if it’s local—CRUCIALLY if it has only one or two locations. people might travel to arenas or convention centers, but they’re far less likely to be traveling to Bartleby’s Fish and Chips. if it’s an anecdote and you still live nearby, you can honestly just leave the name out entirely.
if you’re sharing a news story, it can just be a story you found and wanted to share. you don’t have to clarify “it happened in my town,” because even if you don’t mention your town name, an easily-googled news article will.
if you’re seeing a concert or meeting a celebrity on a tour that’s stopped locally, wait until they’ve hit a few more venues before you post about it, or at the very least wait until you get home. this is honestly a smart move for any event you attend: unless you’re marketing yourself, there’s no need to advertise your location in real time.
check your selfie backgrounds for anything identifying. this includes city names on venues, school names, street signs, and house numbers.
this stuff is flexible if you no longer live in your hometown, or if your city is particularly big, but there’s STILL no reason to tie yourself to your school, your workplace, or your street. you can call it paranoid, but as someone who’s seen my friends get literal death threats over fictional characters before, the last thing I want is someone willing to act on those threats finding out where they live.
anyway. PSA over. does a kickflip or whatever

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My heart is lighter than a feather and my liver is darker than a black coffee because that's what it's marinating in
i feel like im a weird age where i got just a blurry glimpse at the world Before. it used to be cold in the mornings and websites had fun games and the search results showed you what you searched for. covid wasn't a thing. can anybody fucking hear me. did i dream it all????
I wish adhd didnt have the reputation of the oh my god you people cant do anything disorder because i feel like i am barely staying afloat at every single moment of my life dawg. Maybe i have adhd 2 but um jesus fucking christ, jesus christ,
Like i literally feel like a loser. What do you mean the disorder is Affecting me. It shouldnt be doing that, ppl online said thats cringe. Thats not allowed
Like when i say this i mean even getting dressed in the morning takes me fucking forever cuz i genuinely get distracted between putting my left sock on and my right. I forget things literally instantly. I get so little sleep cuz i cant ration out my time doing everything else on top of my 2 jobs. Switching tabs while im working to go grab a file leads me to stop what im doing because I FORGOT I WAS WORKING
clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in
wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

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i'm in agony, SOMEbody please help me remember what the childhood book series was that centered around critters that looked like this:
IM IN HELL WHAT WAS IT
Little Critter?
THATS THE BITCH
alright smart-aleks, what about THIS one huh?? the dude had a really cool shading technique where he just swirled (colored pencil?) around??
Parts :)
YOU GUYS ARE TOO GOOD AT THIS WHAT THE HELL
ok my partner wanted in on this, I have no idea what this is
I GOT YOU
i'm never leaving this fucking site i stg i love you all.
OK
final one
for all the marbles,
this one doesn't have an illustration bc i think it was just a kids novel but i haven't been able to find ANYTHING about it on my occasional internet queries:
kids is staying with his (grandmother?) in the woods and she warns him not to look a fox in the eyes bc they're tricksy and will swap places with you. obviously that's the first thing the little boy does and gets body snatched by a fox who uhhhh proceeds to pig out with his new little boy human hands and the boy has to trick the fox into looking him in the eyes again to switch back...
thats all i got, it's an older book i wanna say from the 60's?? 70's?? kinda the same jist of "Little Rascal"
perhaps this?
A DECADE OF SEARCHING THANK YOU @dyketennant IM ORDERING THIS IMMEDIATELY
Some of this is just called 'monkey wrenching', it's the lost art of simply throwing a wrench in the gears of the system to bring it down.
ICE driving behind you? Forget where you're going and Just ... sit through a green light. Don't have to keep doing it, or get caught ... just PERFORM YOUR TASKS POORLY.
Drop a wrench and say 'oops'.
You can resist while saying sorry, and pretending to comply. it's still resistance.