Comically bad doodles

I'm really busy at work and I can't seem to find the time for my OCs and writing. I've decided that I must at least doodle and sketch instead of doom scrolling. So here's to you Dante Alighieri visiting the Wood of the suicides (Inferno, Canto XIII).

'Who... who are you?'

'Did I startle you? I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd find anyone here at this hour.'

'Well, you did, I guess... But... oooh. You're the vampire, aren't you?'

Let's start with the obvious, the Star Wars prequels. I was a 16 year old SW fan when the Phantom Menace got out. I was hyped out of my senses - I should have been the ideal target - turns out I was already too old. I wanted so badly to like it and admitting it sucked was a long grieving process. When Attack of the Clones hit the theatres, I was already a jaded cynic.

But apparently the prequels adjacent cartoons were good or something (never saw them - no streaming services in the early 00s, and I used eMule to pirate pretentious movies or unhinged horrors at that point) and one way or another people that's just a few years younger than me loves the prequels now. Lots of memes, lots of nostalgia.

Then there's the god-awful Hobbit trilogy. I thought we all agreed that was an unholy cash grab of an abomination. And yet... here on Tumblr I realized that the Peter Jackson's Hobbit fandom is an actual thing that exists.

What's next? People complaining that The Book of Boba Fett or Disney Plus' Willow reboot were cancelled ahead of their time? Tiktokers born in 2009 explaining why 'somehow, Palpatine has returned' is actually genius?

Purple the amethysts

'Yes. The "little monk." They don't really know wether it's a fairy, a demon, or something else entirely.'

'Neither do I. But I saw one — as clearly as I see you now. Just outside the opera house, beneath an oil lamp. Anno Domini 1763. It was the size of a child, though I knew at once it was no child. Dressed as a monk. I couldn't make out the features of its face. I looked at it, and in the next instant... gone into the dark. I should have gone home. I knew it was bad luck — more than bad luck, I mean.'

The unforgivable curses:

Crucio: nothing you cannot do with a baseball bat or a car battery

Avada Kedavra: literally just a gun

'Well, it all began when I was a young FBFCD* agent, fresh out of the academy, and I was sent to a Hasidic community in New Jersey for a suspected dybbuk case.

It was a dybbuk, all right. The victim was Rivka—already in her late twenties, unmarried, which wasn't that common in that community. Stubborn and headstrong, my Rivka. Even before she fell under the influence of this ancient demon that had somehow followed her ancestors from the Russian Empire to the East Coast.'

* Federal Bureau for Fairies, Creatures and Demons

Full chapter here on DA. CW: AI slop.

It was dumb, and violent, and uneducational, even if way less violent and uneducational that the stuff we watched as kids back in the 80s and early 90s (in my country you got on afternoon TV absurdly inappropriate anime shows that were clearly made for teens or young adults).

I loved it.

And I genuinely think that, sometimes, kids should watch stuff that's not right for them, just like they scrape their knees and eat junk food.

'Here you are, Father. This is Mr. Colapesce. He's… he's…'

'The demon expert?'

'No, that’s on his way. He’s…'

'I’m the fuckups expert. Nice to meet you.'

Full chapter here.

The whole (indefinitely WIP) deal is now on AO3.

'I was looking for you everywhere. Do you... Wow. You look really somber tonight.'

'Do I? I guess... Did you see the Wild Hunt?'

'The... No, I didn't...'

'I thought I was just daydreaming, but then I checked my phone, and it seems everyone saw it.'

'Let me see... Oh, yeah. It's all over Instagram. When did it...'

'Just before sunset.'

'Golden hour. Sucks that you can't actually capture it in pictures... Mmmh... They say it's the most widespread Wild Hunt ever recorded... Bet they won't say it's just people influencing each other this time.'

To all of whom it may concern (nobody, I guess) I just finished uploading this whole thing on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83041541/chapters/218671596. It's also here on DA (https://www.deviantart.com/fcachronicles/gallery/99676961/main-story-line) but I understand if someone is weary of clicking on a DA link.

It's very much a WIP but it mostly stay this way forever, because it's structured more like a sit com than a novel, also written like one (a particularly bland one), in dialogue form, because it's literally the only way I can manage to write in English (obviously not my native language) while having fun. I'll add chapters regularly. It's just a bunch of OCs who I love and follow around in an urban fantasy setting. The story is working up to an apocalypse of sort (an elfpocalypse?) but it could take years to get there.

'I was thinking to make them Jewish-coded...' 'Please elaborate.'

'You know, Wagner's dwarves were inspired by his antisemitism and I want to turn the trope on its head' 'Interesting.'

'You know, for instance their language has consonantic roots like Semitic languages' 'That's cool'

'And they use it among them, but they're kind of secretive about it. In general they're secretive and jealous about their culture and customs' 'OK, I guess...'

'Ah, and also they're sons of a lesser God' 'What...'

'Yes, they were created directly by Aule and not by Eru Iluvatar like Men and Elves' 'OK, let's put a pin on this...'

'Obviously they were forced away from their ancestral home...' 'Yes, of course...'

'...and when they come back the place is ridded with literal monsters...' 'Wait a minute...'