heaven in her mouth she’s got one hell of a tongue

your cat was an honor to see in the window

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!

"Can I...?" "Would it be okay if I...?" "Would you like to...?" FUCK YEAH

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

My biggest red flag is getting turned on by red flags.