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taproot-bread

You know that weird phase where you are not asleep yet but your mind starts doing whatever and you can't really control it? Yeah.

taproot-bread

I'M????????????

swayerto

drakensberg-blog

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

poupon

how dare you say we piss on the poor

04k96

swagophile

*makes you green for 1 frame without telling you*

#this is just like that one frame at 1:07 in Vivarium

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infiniteskeletonxylophones

Shower thought: Sourdough starter is basically a pet shoggoth you keep in your fridge.

You follow an arcane formula you pulled out of an ancient tome (or the collected essence of all human knowledge, with the aid of a scrying device) to perform a ritual that creates a squirming, amorphous mass of life. You feed it, you give it a little water, and it bubbles and burbles and grows and shrinks and changes shapes. Occasionally it tries to escape, or outgrows its container, and you have to brutally cut its tentacles off.

But then you mix the tentacles with your other ingredients, bake them and eat the results.

And that's also how it reproduces. So you're creating, cooking and eating a baby shoggoth.

infiniteskeletonxylophones

It gets worse: We've done this for thousands of years, and it's knowledge passed down from mother to daughter. By feel. By smell. Most men in modern times don't know anything about it. It is an ancient pagan ritual of life, death and rebirth. A sacrificial homunculus created to give birth, and die, and be consumed, and be revived over generations.

It is older than any current religion, older than iron, older than the written word. It is as old as agriculture, which means it is arguably as old as civilization. It is an ancient and inexplicable thing that most people have forgotten about, but it kept mankind alive through all the ages leading to now.

It's exactly the kind of horrible secret one of Lovecraft's protagonists would discover in some ancient family crypt, scrawled in some frenzied notebook taken to the grave by his grandfather, only to go mad from realizing that his family has been - bakers - for generations, stretching back to the neolithic era, and this unspeakable, ancient thing is still alive in his ancestral home, breathing, growing, hungry - and he can smell it in the air. It smells like the fresh bread his own mother baked for him as a child. It's inside him. It was always a part of him. And he is the last of his line. He must contain it. He must bake it. He must eat of its young.

infiniteskeletonxylophones

segamascott

pukicho

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

pukicho

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

twentychildreninawashingmachine

i thought they were bees.

pukicho

oh my fucking god. oh my god. it can't possibly look like that to you

anomaloc4ris

🪺 i despise being in the sun #myheadache

lobsterminator

WHY DOES TUMBLR KEEP UNFOLLOWING MY MUTUALS WHAT

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threedollarsdotcom

scientists are hard at work exploring each others bodies

divorciada

something I haven't seen people mention about The Hunger Games trilogy and movies is how it genuinely revolutionized the Minecraft server scene

i-am-a-fish

please do not look up to me. I am 1 inch tall. I'm down here. if you look up you won't see me

breezey-with-an-e-art

but what if i.....

i-am-a-fish

I REALLY LIKE THIS ART THIS IS SO CUTE I'M BEING HELD UP

beardedmrbean

enbaluka-tokyo-drift

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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genderlesspersonx

Femtanyl has absolutely been serving this year

erinbowbooks

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