yikes

That means you’re a selkie love

Mermaids, sirens, and selkies only reblog. Land lubbers GTFO

At the risk of sounding anti-intellectual, I think that college should be free and also not a requirement for employment outside of highly specialized career fields

At the risk of sounding like an effete intellectual, I do actually think you should be allowed to just take college courses indefinitely

I dropped a slow cooker in the bathtub. The doctor says I have 8 hours to live

Alien pulling your sleeve to get your attention: and who is this Cunt you all serve

HINT: you can move my white ass using the arrow keys.

i hear a good lyric and start mentally holding up blorbos like im in the home depot paint aisle comparing swatches

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

Hello, its me, the company that forced you to create an account to use our service twice in order to get something done then never again. We messed up on our end of a dark web transaction and didn't get the promised "$20,000,000 for all user data" but trickster_flapl0rd did in fact keep the data we sent them and we're here to let you know your account may be compromised. Here are some next steps to ensure your account remains secure:

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

that one rihanna ig post with Mine’s Bigger Than Yours written in the background w the caption My dick AND my forehead! is like poetry to me