irony

don’t like it when I’m about to board a plane to America and discover it just came from there not one hour ago and is getting sent straight back, like please put this girl in the stables and give her some oats, rub her coat till it shines, she’s earned a rest

Also there's the fact that having just escaped America, she has to return to America.

you’re a cutie pie and i want to try a piece

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him

Hey quick question what the fuck

the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is

victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years

My cow had a baby IF YOU CARE!!!!

how am i supposed to function under these conditions [sleepy]

“you have to stop buying every mug you think is cute” what’s that? i can’t hear you over the sound of all my mugs clinking together in the cabinet as i try to find space for this new mug i bought

Ariana is japanese again

No one even gaf

We don't have time for this