Madame Marmalade

I can’t wait for the day I’m old enough that I vote for a president who’s every dumb action as a preteen was immortalized forever on youtube. I just imagine watching the presidential debate, watching the candidate as he addresses the scandal where he was recorded calling someone a faggot on his minecraft lets play. That’s my dream. For a better future. For a better America.

This post aged like piss

#this is very good #its giving early 2010's tumblr audio shitpost #congratulations as per @nattousan's tags

Must suck ass to be like. a lawyer or something in the pokemon world. They haven't made any cool lawyer pokemon yet

Ho oh

I think we have different definitions of ‘lawyer’ but sure

Why wouldn't ho oh be a lawyer? They're a Phoenix, wright?

In the kindest way possible, fuck you

this was animated by a man with anterograde amnesia who kept forgetting the last 10 frames he drew

Sorry to bring this back but I haven’t slept in weeks wondering how she could possibly be alive if eating one chicken nugget is this fucking difficult for her

certified iconic post

I laughed so hard at this I accidentally exited the Tumblr app and when I reopened, Tumblr had bolted back to the top of the feed, so I just rage scrolled through every single thing both posted in the last hour and that I scrolled past in the last hour to find to present this incredible tiktok to you, my dear followers. Esp @ritterssport

Pops: There aint no fightin a dolphin. They play with you. It's their world.

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw

Americans are so good at making Beverage. One of our Foundational Moments was actually a party involving Making Beverage. Google "Boston Tea Party" for more

june is NOT pride month. it’s the month when people on the internet who have never been in irl lgbt spaces or have irl lgbt friends will be like “lgbt people need to STOP sucking and FUCKING during pride parades” and then when you go to a parade, instead of seeing the promised sucking and fucking, you get pelted with gay pens from bank of america 

that Diana Wynne Jones interview where she’s like “I don’t understand why so many girls are into Howl, it must be because they want the challenge of fixing him” is so optimistic, like DWJ’s out here hoping I at least want to make him a more functional person as if “rogue academic turned melodramatic fashion disaster whose social skills Do Not live up to his own hype” is not a perfectly valid thing to be attracted to 

god this isn’t even touching on the fact that Howl is??? apparently??? an ordinary-ass Welshman who was studying spells (????) at the doctoral level and then (somehow???) found a doorway into Actual Magic and promptly moved there to set up shop as a wizard with like five different names and two outfits but still goes home sometimes because he loves his niece and likes to hang out with the rugby lads (still working on processing Howl being a jock but?? okay), because PRESUMABLY all of this is supposed to further illustrate that Howl is an absolutely ridiculous sort of person but all I see is a man who made the exact decision I would make in a millisecond if given the opportunity 

Howl Jenkins is what happens when the overpowered ‘thrust into a fantasy world’ man… is not the main character.

Howl Jenkins is what happens when an a normal man gets thrust into a fantasy setting and is mostly excited to dick around and learn some magic to turn his hair different colors, only to realize to his dismay that being a powerful wizard means that people are going to ask you to actually do shit for them

The last part was kind of insane, honestly. When we started changing platforms for the donor database, I kept telling them that yes I was aware we already had an account for the volunteer database, and no that could not be connected to the donor database. And they said yes fine sure and then connected them anyway. And I called them back and said, excuse me, I'm confused, I can see both databases. And they said, well, yeah, but it's only you, someone has to be able to see both databases to give other users access. The other users can't see both. And I said, no, we have been asking for a completely separate database. I should not be able to see both. And they said, you are one organization, one organization can't have two databases. And I said, last year someone used our volunteer email list to commit approximately one thousand felonies. Please feel free to imagine how much worse it could have been had they had a way to use volunteers' email addresses to get their legal names. We do not want this to be something anyone can do no matter how much we trust them. Let me describe those felonies to you in more detail. And they emailed me two hours later and said, you can have two separate databases.

This post feels like watching an iceberg go by in clear water. The amount of stuff going on beneath the surface of AO3 just astonishes.

What gets me so much in the first post is how much they do not understand how some people DO NOT WANT to keep harassing the same people over and over for their money. Like, do these kind of people come from a background of gambling boxes in games, where they try to get people addicted to paying more and more money for gacha BS? When I sell a Robomat or Comicron One model in my Storenvy, I don't expect people to come back and by ANOTHER one the next month. I try to put out NEW products, certainly, but especially when it's donations, the idea of getting people to pay again and again when it may just be some spare change they have or they just want to contribute to something they believe in... and here comes them saying "WE'LL USE AI TO EXPLOIT THESE PEOPLE AND DRAIN THEIR WALLETS!" Sure, hyperbolic, but people KNOW when someone's trying to sell them something and I can't think of any way to RUIN customer (or in this case donor) goodwill then harassing them for more of the money they already gave. They've done their bit for queen and country and now you want them to do it again and again and you think they'll be HAPPY to see you knocking on their doors again when they ALREADY did it? It's a position born from unmitigated greed, going against the very spirit of donating for a good cause. Sure, maybe DIFFERENT fundraisers at different times (we hit on hard times this year, we were good for a while, but a year or two later we need help again), but the same one over and over? I feel like there'd be such a loss in trust and support.

idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better

Good evening to my short kings

Good evening to my tall queens

Wait why doesn't the narcissist have eyebrows

How do you think the dark empathy got in

“the arts and sciences are completely separate fields that should be pitted against each other” the overlap of the arts and sciences make up our entire perceivable reality they r fucking on the couch