JEN D'QUEER??? IS ANYONE HERE JEN D'QUEER???
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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Today's Document
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@arkthepieking
JEN D'QUEER??? IS ANYONE HERE JEN D'QUEER???

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This little asshole keeps getting into a bird feeder, so we need to test how small is *too* small
3 inch opening: no problem
2.75 inch opening: Easy
2.5 inch opening: doing fine
2.25 inch opening: Bit of a struggle, but as Mr Meeseeks says: CAAAN DOO!
2 inch opening: Alright, lets try chewing the opening a bit, As long as we get the nuts into the mouth (huhuhu) we good I guessâŚ
Uh-oh⌠Steve is getting greedy
:insert grunts of effort here:
Taking a breakâŚ
The guy who made the original video decided after a long struggle to help Steve out.
A New Challenger approaches!
1.75 inchs: Quote Mr Meseeks: âOOOHHH HEâS TRYINGâ
GIMME GIMME GIMME
He ends up giving up.
Source: Chris Notap - Squirrel â literally â bites off more than he can chew ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4ach0CwN4
via imgur
Science
I love it
What I learned is that I am not the only person who calls all squirrels Steve
stop it steve
mood:
His little hands at the end sent me into a frenzy of laughter.
hnmmm what if i just HHEGGDHEHHDGGEGEGGDGGDGEGEGE
Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please
Yeah I was hoping to need to have it rescanned by one of your other employees at the self checkout as well as having it visually inspected by the elderly receipt cop as well
scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can make womenâs clothing
Spaghetti strands that are 200 times thinner than a human hair could be woven into bandages to help prevent infections
Technically they're using it for bandages. For now.
Quote from the article
The resulting ânanopastaâ can then be spun into a tiny mat about 2 centimetres across. While it isnât intended as food, Clancy says that it should be safe to eat, but is reticent to talk about having tried it. âItâs an ethical quandary to talk about scientific self-experimentation,â he says. âBut, hypothetically, one might expect it to be chewier than youâd expect.â
Oh he's definitely eating it
scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can surreptitiously eat it
in retrospect it's pretty funny that the most used computer port for many years just completely sucked shit to the point of there being normie memes about it
we as a society lived like this for years and years
I mean when your biggest tech issue is "takes an extra 10 seconds (at most) to plug in if you're not paying attention" that's pretty good! Imagine if you had a printer and the printer's biggest problem was that the paper took a few tries to insert into the tray. You'd want to fuck that printer.
I'd want to fuck that printer.

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Manga is Hinamatsuri.
I love this girl. Sheâs amazing at everything but canât say no to anybody. She went to Florida to learn english and accidentally wandered into assassin training. This is missing the punchline though.
literally nothing and i genuinely mean absolutely nothing in this world quite encompasses corporate detachment from the consumer quite like peggle_2_ode_to_joy.gif
upon its release to the xbox live arcade in 2009, peggle was THE top selling game for two solid weeks. within a month, more than 100,000 players were on the leaderboards. before it got to live arcade, it had been downloaded 50 million times.
and when it released for ios? holy fuck were they DROWNING in money. when they took a weekend to put the game on sale for a dollar, down from five, a couple months after release, they made as much in that one weekend as they did since its release. it was among the top paid apps for weeks.
with critics, peggle was among some of the top downloadable, mobile, and general best games of all time at the time of its release in 2007 and onwards, and it only shot up in popularity as they made it more accessible to more people. and this was in a time before candy crush.
the thing about simple addictive puzzle games is that they make you feel competent, confident, smart, and cool for being good at them. not everybody can learn how to aim in a shooter or the best strategy in an rpg. but anybodys grandmother or baby brother can play a simple puzzle game, and the nature of these games and the way they make you feel only makes you want to play more and more.
however very very fucking few people who play simple puzzle games that you can master on the toilet would be going to E3 in the early 2010s. remember in 2012 when every ~hardcore gamer~ would screech about âfake gamersâ who only play candy crush? thats what peggle was. it was THE crack mobile game from the pre-candycrush era.
no one who was excited about peggle was going to E3. the hundreds of thousands of people who played peggle were not the type of people who would consider going to (or even giving a shit about) E3.
but it sold like hot cakes, and candy crush was churning out content like a madman, and EA owned popcap now, so because the game sold amazingly, and because they wanted to keep cashing in on it, and because corporate drones who controlled the scripts didnt comprehend that their consumerbase isnt one homogeneous mass, they decided to announce peggle 2 at E3 2013.
but not just âoh by the way peggle 2â, no. peggle sold like skyrim, it sold like black ops, clearly they should be saving the best for last, they should announce it like it was the craziest most incredible announcement of the night!
thus:
but in all honesty it doesnt quite have the same impact without hearing ode to joy overtop of the deafening silence of the crowd. so heres a link too. timeless.
Awesome
This dog is so inbred holy cow
I somehow missed that the dog was born literally the day after Charlie Kirk's death, giving the name an appearance of suggesting that Charlie Kirk was reincarnated as an inbred Pomeranian.
The way Americans attempt to show reverence and honor gives disrespect and blasphemy a run for their money.
pulling up to the function dressed like this and all the bad bitches start beating me with sticks and clubs and cudgels until im on the ground crying and bloody and broken

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Wake up babe, new octopus just dropped
He's such a little guy!
âoh no, my audience has begun to guess the big twists of my story and are accurately predicting what will happen!â
incorrect response: write the rest of the story to be as twisty, shocking and counter to expectations as possible, regardless of whether this is a logical or satisfying way for the plot to go
correct response:
can someone elaborate on the âmake hoaxâ and âpost angry tweet about âleakââ part. iâm stupid and donât understand things
sure!
(youâre not stupid. I posted this thinking it would amuse a handful of mutuals who all knew the context and that would be about it, so I didnât think about providing any other explanation. I had no idea it would spread this far.)
Iâll start from the very beginning just to be thorough. so this is Alex Hirsch, creator and head writer of Gravity Falls, a show which had a big focus on mystery, conspiracies, codes and ciphers, etc. the whole plot is kicked off by one of the main characters finding a mysterious old journal in the woods, which detailed all kinds of weird and supernatural things, but then ended abruptly with the author saying they had to hide the journal because they were being watched. the central driving mystery of the show, therefore, was the question of who wrote the journal and what happened to them.
now, the thing about Gravity Falls is that, while it must be said that the writers werenât always quite as sure of their plans as we tend to like to think they are, it is very much a fair play mystery, with legitimate clues to what was going on. but the writers were caught off guard by how quickly the show attracted a dedicated audience, including a lot of people outside the primary presumed demographic, who started solving the clues faster than expected. so some of the fans were able to correctly guess who the author was before it was revealed in the show, and the theory started spreading. this put the writers in something of a panic, because this was THE mystery that the whole story revolved around, with ž of the show building up to the dramatic reveal in the middle of season 2. they wanted it to be a mystery that could be figured out, sure, but they werenât prepared for people to solve it so far in advance of when it was planned to be revealed, which would have really taken away from the big moment. they werenât going to change the main story itself, but having been caught unaware by how much attention the fans were paying, they wanted to up the ante and make the mystery more complex to solve going forwardâbut first they needed to buy some time and throw the fandom off the scent for a little longer.
hence, Alexâs plan as described above. they whipped up a fake shot that appears to give away the identity of the author as being another character in the show, put it on a screen in the studio as if it was a real animation frame, took a picture of it, and âleakedâ it online. it was initially decided to be a hoax (albeit, I think, presumed to be a hoax originating from outside the production team), until Alex posted this tweet:
âŚbefore quickly deleting it (though not so quickly that it didnât get seen, of course).
it worked well enough to distract most people for a while, and wasnât revealed as a hoax until a year later, when an episode aired that definitively proved that the supposed screenshot could never have happened, at which point Alex owned up to the whole thing as seen in the tweet above. by then the episode with the real reveal wasnât far off, and while people did still work it out ahead of time, it was more of an âOH MY GOD I KNEW IT!â moment than a âbooooooring, weâve known that for agesâ moment, which of course was what the writers wanted all along.
personally I find this a fascinating approach to dealing with the problem of spoilers, because it doesnât affect the story itself at all; if you watch Gravity Falls todayâor if you were watching it when it aired without any significant contact with the fandomâyouâd never know about it. ultimately, the problem the writers were facing wasnât that some people might guess the answer to the mysteryâthey never wanted to make it completely impossible to predictâso much as it was that they hadnât designed the story to stand up to so many people working on the puzzle together, which resulted in a sort of total output of puzzle-solving ability that far outstripped the capability of any one solo human being. so their solution is something thatâs very much targeted toward delaying that group problem-solving, without actually affecting the experience of any individual person watching the show.
plus, itâs very in keeping with the overall tone of the show.
and now you know!
if your audience guesses the ending of your story
donât:
change the ending
do:
gaslight them
From: Last Stand (Bandai)
developed by Soft Machine for WonderSwan in 1999
simple asks to help bolster ask culture again
1. Wht
2. Wh
3. Ghhghhh
4. Hh hh
5. Guuu
6. Vbbvvbggh
7. 47786868564588524378688096624414269704-4(907;7649)9?;78(&?),5/6;
8. How long have you follower my vollower my folowolow Hi
9. Ghh
10. Hi
11. Hi
12. Hi
12. Hi
12.
12
1
17. Guuuuuuu
Ugly Duckling sequel where the swan is like hey it's nobody's fault and I don't think anyone did anything wrong per se but nonetheless I did feel really alienated and depressed for most of my youth and those years do continue to affect me in the present day and their mom is like, so what you're saying is that you think I'm a failure and a bad duck.

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