one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.

not sure how to say this other than. if the root of you engaging in discourse online is not love its pointless actually

you can spend hours online trying to prove you are more correct than someone else but it is all absolutely pointless if you just do not care about the group of people or topic you are discussing. do you care about people? about yourself? do you genuinely want to be a better person? is what you are doing right now helping you or others improve as people, is it making others safer or dismantling ideology that hurts people? if the answer to any of those is no then you are wasting everyones time and energy, yourself included