boneless pizza

I’t’s fan'tasy apostro'phes, the'y give wo'rds text'ure.

the little boy who created the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom was at the live show tonight, and when the McElroys asked where he was, they couldn’t see him, so his dad lifted him up Circle of Life-style and people shone their phone flashlights and SURPRISE, HE WAS THE TINIEST CUTEST ANGUS MCDONALD

I FEEL VICTIMIZED

I can’t tell, they are hiding their IP address

America is about to be that part in the lion king where where pride rock became all shitty bc Scar became king

have yet to see a better analogy

Are you implying Hilary Clinton’s daughter will assassinate Donald Trump because I’m okay with this

Actually, if we follow the narrative, I think it would be the Obama daughters. Which would be even MORE awesome.

Malia’s gonna fight Trump on the roof of the Whitehouse while it’s on fire.

Alternatively, since Scar originally gained the support of the hyenas by promising them a better life with lots of food, Trump is clearly going to fall off the roof of the White House into the arms of the Republican base that voted for him because he promised them a better economy.

Joe Biden??

Definitely Joe Biden.

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” but my all-time favourite is, “…until the cows freeze over.”

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it,

I had a dream I was one of the kids in IT and I found out that Pennywise is powerless if you just ignore him so we all sat around making forced small talk while Pennywise was getting progressively more frustrated and desperate doing backflips and anything that might get our attention going “guys look. GUYS LOOK. GUYS”

While we’re talking about horror movie villain dreams I once had one where we didn’t want to invite Freddy Krueger to a party and we were all awkward and he was like “…is…is it because of the whole killing thing…?” and we didn’t have to heart to say yes