Lanin Lurks and Shirks her Responsibilities

@newnamesamecharlotte

1977: Star Wars is released, featuring, of course, Darth Vader

(Pictured: Darth Vader)

1984: Director Todd Durham releases his Star Wars parody movie, Hyperspace, featuring Darth Vader inspired villain Lord Buckethead.

(Pictured: Hyperspace poster featuring two Jawa-esque aliens flying through space in a shopping trolley.)

1987: Hyperspace is released on video in the UK, under the new title Gremloids.

(Pictured: Gremloids cover in the style of the original Star Wars poster, featuring Lord Buckethead.)

To promote the film, Mike Lee, the owner of the distributing company, ran for parliament as Lord Buckethead. He ran in Margaret Thatcher's constituency, Finchley, in order to get on TV. Lord Buckethead was representing the Gremloids party.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with Margaret Thatcher.)

1992: Gremloids is re-released. Lord Buckethead rides again, this time against prime minister John Major in Huntingdon. (Here's a fun fact about Huntingdon: I was born there! :D) 87/92 Buckethead seems to have leaned pretty hard into the space supervillain thing, with campaign promises including 'demolish Birmingham to build a spaceport'.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with John Major. Other notable candidates include Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party.)

2017: comedian Jon Harvey, having recently watched Gremloids and learned of Lord Buckethead's candidacy for parliament, decides it's a great bit. He runs against Theresa May in Maidenhead. 2017 Buckethead seems to have a wackier and also more political approach, with campaign promises ranging from nonsense like 'nationalise Adele' to gesturing at actually sensible policies with stuff like 'lower the voting age to 16 and restrict voting after age 80'.

He also made an appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. As with his previous incarnation, he was a member of the Gremloids party.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead dabbing on stage with Theresa May.)

2018: Director Todd Durham asserts his legal ownership of Lord Buckethead. Jon Harvey opted not to go to court over Buckethead and handed over the reins. Todd Durham extended an invitation to anyone who wanted to be the 'authorised' Lord Buckethead.

(Pictured: the new Lord Buckethead.)

2019: Lord Buckethead, now played by journalist David Hughes, stood against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He ran for the Monster Raving Loony Party, the UK's pre-existing gag candidate party. He ran with a similarly silly manifesto as the 2017 incarnation, but with a bit less of a political edge. His promises included 'All doorways to be increased by 1 foot (30 cm) in height' and 'Nigel Farage to be sold for parts'.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead and Count Binface square up.)

Meanwhile, Jon Harvey in his new persona Count Binface, also ran against Boris Johnson. Buckethead and Binface face off! Binface ran as an independent with a manifesto once again blending silly and semi-serious promises such as 'nationalising model railways' and 'giving £1 trillion a week to the NHS'. This was also I believe the debut of his promise to 'move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at Uxbridge's Crown and Treaty pub to a more sensible position'.

(Pictured: Count Binface presenting the offending hand dryer, inconveniently close to both the sink and the urinals.)

He has a point.

2021: Count Binface runs for the position of Mayor of London for the first time, with promises such as 'London to join the European Union'. He notably finished ahead of far right party UKIP.

2023: Count Binface runs in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip by-election following Boris Johnson's resignation. He once again gets more votes than UKIP.

May 2024: Count Binface once again runs to be Mayor of London, debuting his now iconic 'build at least one affordable house' promise. Notably, he finished ahead of far right party Britain First.

(Pictured: Count Binface with Rishi Sunak. Also pictured: Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Archibald Stanton with a ventriloquist's dummy.)

July 2024: Count Binface stands in the general election, running in Richmond and Northallerton against prime minister Rishi Sunak. He debuts his promise to cap the price of 99p flakes at 99p. This is his most successful election to date with 308 votes.

(Pictured: Count Binface with Andy Burnham. Also pictured: independent candidate Robert Pownell, dressed as a fox for his own reasons.)

June 2026: Count Binface stands in the Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham, (recently) former Mayor of Manchester running for parliament with the intention of standing in the Labour Party leadership contest.

(Pictured: Count Binface on BBC's Newsnight.)

HR 7661 is not dead. But thanks to your ongoing efforts, it is definitely losing steam. Your advocacy matters! The clear evidence is that the bill’s sponsors are shifting from promoting HR 7661 to instead promoting a new bill, HR 2617. HR 2617, the so-called “Say No to Indoctrination Act,” was introduced earlier this month by Representative Burgess Owens of Utah—one of the co-sponsors of HR 7661. This bill would forbid educators from teaching “concepts related to gender ideology,” with the aims of “defending women from gender ideology extremism and restoring biological truth to the Federal Government.” As we have seen time and again, any whiff of gender essentialism in education inevitably leads to book bans. What we’re asking you to do now: Call your House Representative and tell them you oppose both HR 7661 and HR 2617. If your Representative is a Democrat on the House Education & Workforce Committee, specifically ask that they show up at the June 10th hearing ready to defend our students’ and educators’ access to books with a full spectrum of gender identities. And yes, it’s not a coincidence that this vote is scheduled to take place during National Pride Month. Conservatives apparently enjoy using that month in particular to speak out against LGBTQ+ people and issues.

HR 7661 was “reported amended” by the Committee on Education and Workforce and placed on the Union Calendar on Thursday, July 2nd—right before a ten day break. Being placed on the “Union Calendar” means a bill has been favorably recommended out of a House committee and is now catalogued, making it officially eligible for full floor consideration.

Just because a measure is listed on a congressional calendar does not guarantee that it will be considered on the House floor on a certain date—or at all. But the timing of this move—right before the 4th of July holiday, with a short two working weeks before the August recess to potentially hear it and vote on it—is highly suspicious. It may be an indication that HR 7661’s advocates are hoping to slip it in under the radar.

We can’t let that happen.

1) Call your representative and tell them to vote NO on HR 7661

2) Talk to your rep in person if they’re home and keeping office hours

3) Share our Vote No on HR 7661 social media images

4) Print, post, and share our one-sheet that explains HR 7661

5) Share our HR 7661 Sponsor Candidate Scorecards on social media

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Remember Inigo Montoya

Polite Greeting: You will be assimilated.

Relevant personal link: Your biological and technological characteristics will be added to our own.

1. Polite Greeting:

2. Name: I’m Luke Skywalker

3. Personal Relevant Link:

4. Manage Expectations: I’m here to rescue you.

Polite Greeting: "Greetings, Exalted One."

Name + Relevant Personal Link: "I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi knight and friend to captain Solo."

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