d e v o n
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Xuebing Du
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
izzy's playlists!
oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
YOU ARE THE REASON
taylor price
i don't do bad sauce passes
almost home
JBB: An Artblog!
Love Begins
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
#extradirty
Keni
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@lananotdelrey
i accidentally dog trained myself yall.
I forgot to finish this story, anyways I have food alarms set throughout the day to remind me to eat. My alarm is the exact same as my ringtone, so when my mom called me earlier instead of answering my mom I went to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich.
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Literally my math teacher abandoned today’s lesson because some kid brought his kitten to school i don’t even know
can the guy who brought it in let me raw him
i am stupid for free. no one pays me to be this stupid and i think that’s very brave
victorian shitposting
op literally has cholera but go off i guess
when she sends ankle pics
to be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand evolutionary theory
when the 2 year mourning period for her husband, who’s untimely death you arranged, is finally over
green day releasing “back in the usa” and blatantly criticizing donald trump through the music video really makes me think of how this has all happened before with american idiot/george w bush and how this new song (even the title itself) LITERALLY sounds like green day cracking their knuckles and going like “bitch have you guys learned nothing since the last time we did this”
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One of my favorite things to see is random people trying to interact with unfamiliar outdoor cats. Just standing there with a hand out, making kissy noises, maybe meowing at the cat while it ignores them. Mankind at its best and least dignified
#stop calling me out
if you want to interact with a cat that doesn’t know you, sit down not facing it. glance at it occasionally and make an inviting noise, but mostly just play with your phone or whatever.
the cat will almost certainly come over to check you out sooner or later. it’ll stay out of arm’s reach because it doesn’t know if you’re a jerk. offer your hand and let the cat sniff. wait. if the cat wants pettins, it will indicate that by noofing your hand, flopping on its side, or coming in close.
the cat may want to be bros but not get pettins. in that case, it will sit or lie near you but out of reach. this is friendly! the cat is saying, you’re a person in my neighborhood! hi neighbor!
of course, it’s possible that the cat is a great big cuddleslut and will come love all over you. that happens too. but if it doesn’t, that doesn’t mean it’s an unfriendly cat. be chill and let the cat choose how close to get, and you’ll find most cats are pretty friendly.
The only information that matters
in the back of the club arms folded cause i don’t agree with the music selection
50% of comments on any given vegan recipe in the world: i was TERRIFIED this would be DISGUSTING and HEALTHFUL due to the fact that it did not contain any bacon. my husband was like WOMAN, WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING ME? when he saw me put something in the oven that didnt contain a whole hog but luckily it turned out edible! LOL i added 6 eggs and some milk and subbed the margarine for rendered lard so my husband wouldnt divorce me. the kids liked it too even though it wasn’t exactly like pop tarts :) 5/5
other 50% of comments on any given vegan recipe: i substituted 9 types of gluten-free flax meal for the flour. instead of the margarine i used opium and instead of the sugar i used something i found in a meteorite. added some essential oils too. really aligned my chakras 5/5
The first 50% sound like every omniscum on the earth.
isnt omniscum that watch from ben 10
50% of comments on any given vegan recipe in the world: i was TERRIFIED this would be DISGUSTING and HEALTHFUL due to the fact that it did not contain any bacon. my husband was like WOMAN, WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING ME? when he saw me put something in the oven that didnt contain a whole hog but luckily it turned out edible! LOL i added 6 eggs and some milk and subbed the margarine for rendered lard so my husband wouldnt divorce me. the kids liked it too even though it wasn’t exactly like pop tarts :) 5/5
other 50% of comments on any given vegan recipe: i substituted 9 types of gluten-free flax meal for the flour. instead of the margarine i used opium and instead of the sugar i used something i found in a meteorite. added some essential oils too. really aligned my chakras 5/5
The first 50% sound like every omniscum on the earth.
isnt omniscum that watch from ben 10
So I just had the shit creeped out of me.
I’m not someone who believes in ghosts, but I was sitting in my room, alone and in the dark, and I heard the strings of my violin being softly plucked.
My violin is hanging on the wall several feet away.
So I gathered my courage, grabbed my phone, and used the camera light to investigate.
And found this.
A goddamn spider was playing my violin. Not even joking. The little shit.
I think I’d have preferred a ghost….
So anyway…. *tiny incoherent cough exhumes from spider* Here’s Wonderwall.
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I had to read this three times to realize it didn’t say “the power of YEET”
“this doesn’t work…” *throws laptop into the sun* “YEET”
It’s 2:30 AM and I’m in the men’s bathroom and someone was in another stall and I starting blaring the Thomas The Tank Engine theme and I literally heard them stop peeing out of fear
how do you know it was fear and not arousal?
I like to think we live in a nice world and not the one you just created
i nominate post malone for queer eye
This pose lmao
tom holland just posted a video on instagram like “I’m sorry that there’s no new news on the spiderman sequel but I just got the script I’m about to read it!!” and he held up the script and it said “spider-man: far from home” so yeah he just spoiled the spider-man sequel title while announcing he had no news on the spider-man sequel,, good job tom
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☺️☺️☺️
Me making toast
