One band one dream babey✨️

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

look upon my sons and despair

I have never, and will never, use "ofc" to mean "of fucking course". It literally stands for OF Course...

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

marriage before thirties is so insane because you're barely a person yet

divorce before thirties however is chic beyond comprehension

wait... u have other mutuals? i thought we were special

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

NEED to inherit 10,000,000 dollars from a mysterious estranged relative i've never met before. like right now

i hate to admit this but i think if i were in a bad mood and spongebob were around i wouldnt be able to navigate that situation with the patience or grace it demands. and i worry he would blame himself

im no better than squidward

do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that

is anybody out there