take my hand // now & forever

They just invented the world’s fastest sandwich. They’re calling it the autobáhn mì

Autism is some monkey's paw sort of shit, you've got the power to give people the most devastating rip-your-scalp-off level insults that will haunt them for life, with a completely straight face, but the catch is that you don't do it on purpose and also have no idea that you're doing it at all before people get mad at you for no apparent reason again.

sometimes you see Takes™ that make you go "mmmhmmm okay yeah i see we both interpreted that differently based on what the show gave us, but i see how you arrived at your ideas even if they're different from mine," and then sometimes you see Takes™ that make you go "brother what show did you even fucking watch"

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together

The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing

Putting zucchini in everything is the opposite of a guilty pleasure. It's a purifying penance that absolves you of all sin.

id: photo of a very wide, flat crocodile. end id.