Craze

funniest sound in the world is a cat smacking shit hard as fuck with their little stupid paw

i saw a cat with an honest to god balled-up fist getting ready to hit someone the other day and it made me laugh so hard i cried

Yeti boyfriend who makes sure your house is in a chilly temperature all year long so you don't have to spend the day sweating... Also he reslly likes seeing how pointy your nipples get and how do you enjoy getting snuggles when it's a bit too cold.

😈🖤♾️🌙🔒

😈🖤♾️🌙🔒

You're a dragon shifter and your boss has given you a new assignment - be the summoned Chosen One's partner. You're fine with this assignment as the Chosen One seems to be a naturally talented rider and even takes care of your tack at the end of each day. And you think their cheerful conversation is interesting and fun even if it is one-sided in your dragon form. But soon you realize that there's been a misunderstanding. You've always thought the Chosen One volunteered to be summoned and to fight the Demon King. And the Chosen One clearly thinks that you're just a dragon and incapable of understanding the truly vicious diatribe they unleash against your kingdom every night.

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.

Merboy edging you for hours because you invaded his lair and tried to steal an artifact of his

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

@evilwizard are you in that?

i should sell this

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know