a struggling b.s. in psych... being

It's been quite a while since my last update! I'm not a student anymore but I just wanted to give a quick little update on things. I stated in my last post that I was okay where I was and that I didn't have any true plans set into place and, to be honest, I'm still unemployed since that post. I've been doing research voluntarily for a lab and it's somewhat working out for me. I've been balancing between taking care of family and the household but it's been a bit rough for me mentally in the sense that I want to be a career-driven woman striving for success and progression in life. But with this time I've come to a realization that my undiagnosed ADHD and some lack in self-discipline isn't helping me go much further. There's pressure from life around me and societal pressure pushing onto me and I feel like it's not okay to feel okay with where I am now. If that makes any sense to anyone.

My current goal though is to pursue getting accepted into graduate school but I need to really shape myself up and battle my ADHD and gather up all the self-discipline I can to achieve that goal. It's a bit rough right now but maybe I can get a system going for me to truly pursue those goals.

Went on a tangent there but whoever you are, wherever you are, and in whatever time you're in; I hope you're looking out for yourself too! Eat well, hydrate, and stay healthy!

So... I graduated! I'm finished with my undergrad!!!

Proud of myself for getting through a rough semester, really my whole undergraduate experience was a whole strange experience in itself. It doesn't quite feel real yet that I'm done with undergrad, even going through the day of commencement didn't quite feel real. Like it was a blur. Not a bad one, just kind of blurred around the edges. I'm excited though for the future.

I don't have set plans on a job or anything yet but I've been more accepting of being in the present and in the moment and taking some time to get settled with me. I used to be a huge overthinker, constantly worried about my future but now that I'm here in this current present, somehow I feel like everything will workout. Not just for me but for everyone, life continues to go on and you'll be swept with it whether you feel it coming or not (and that's okay).

Maybe I'm just going on too much about my inner thoughts but I feel like I just wanted to get that out there! Some food for thought perhaps? Anyways, I hope you, stranger, are doing alright.

Eat well, sleep well, and hydrate! I'll be back!

𝐿𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝑀𝒾𝓃𝓊𝒾𝓉 ˊˎ˗

It's been a whole 4 months since I last wrote! It's been a rough time, especially in this last month. When I'm ready to speak on it, I might speak on it in the future but for now I'll do a small update! My undergraduate experience is coming to an end (if all things go well) in about 4 weeks. Actually, my commencement will be going on around that time and it's a little crazy to think about. I don't have anything lined up if I'm being quite honest, I've been in a massive slump and it's a little difficult to be motivated. After seeing some friends come in for the weekend though, I must say, I feel a little more refreshed and a little bit more motivated to see things through.

I'd like to eventually get into a PhD program, I may have to try and go for a masters program beforehand but it'd be a dream (that I'd like to try and attempt sometime) to get in.

That's all I really have at the moment, I hope all else is well and hopefully, I'll check in sometime soon!

It's been a while! Once again! It's basically finals season and I'm stressed out of my mind. I have a presentation to give tomorrow and I know nothing or have nothing for it right now as well as paper that determines my grade that's basically done, it just needs a lot of work. Struggling at the moment with motivation and the ability to get up and do stuff but I know I need to get it done and I know that it's not motivation I need right now but self-discipline that needs to kick me back into reality. I'm going to get to everything today because I absolutely need to but I'll update again on how many breakdowns I have from the end of this semester.

Anywho, stay healthy, wear your masks and stay hydrated! Make sure to eat, sleep and maybe indulge in a slice of cake. Much love.

It's almost Halloween! I forget that university students take Halloween pretty seriously too. I don't think I'll be doing much, but if you are doing something, I hope you have a safe one!

To update, my first round of exams didn't go super well, I will admit. I got a 60 on one of them, but with the second round, I got an 80 after putting much needed time and effort. So now I'm at a 70 for this class but as long as I keep doing what I did and really stay motivated, I'm sure I'll do fine for the rest of the semester. I was going to drop the class if I didn't do alright but I still got it, and I know I can push through.

I'm having second thoughts of graduating early as I've heard multiple people say they've regretted graduating early. However, I also believe that things will work out. I definitely enjoy the college life but I also feel like I'm ready to move onto... somewhere. I'd like to get into graduate school here and continue on, but my grades really aren't the best, rather, they're just average. I feel like my academic and my achievements outside of academics are also just average. Definitely having a bit of a crisis where I just feel like I won't be able to go anywhere, but I'm going to push through. It might be rough, I might not be ready, but in the end, when will I ever be ready if I don't ever advance to start being ready? If that makes any sense at all, or, perhaps it's just senseless rambling.

TLDR; still working out life and how I see it I suppose.

I have an essay due tomorrow so I'm going to get back to that, thanks for reading my ramble if you've made it this far. Well wishes, stay safe, sleep, eat, stay hydrated, and continue to towards you and yourself!

It's October! It's been a while since anyone's heard from me, but hello! I've just been really busy with the fall semester. I'm in four organizations now and my classes are basically senior-level courses. It's kicking my butt right now and my first round of exams just finished. I honestly don't know how I did on two of them but the other two I was pretty confident in. Either I failed all of them horrendously or I passed those two and failed horrendously at the other two. I'll figure it out soon.

I hope everyone else's exams are going well compared to mine! I at least know for future reference what I need to focus on and how my professor's exams are structured. Anywho, I'll be heading off to bed!

Good night! Sleep well and stay hydrated!

Haven't updated in a bit but I ended up finishing my summer classes with all A's! My fall classes for this semester are looking quite interesting but I'll update more about it as I go. Been feeling really productive lately with my roommate and I feel like we've been closer than before but my new roommates are still a work in progress. We've tried inviting them to things we do but it doesn't seem like they're too interested. Hoping things will be okay though.

I'm also taking a peek at my last post and I said I wanted to go walking and start running but I never ended up doing so. Though my roommate and I did walk over 11k steps today and it's making me want to walk/try and run again. Feeling quite good today!

I hope everyone's doing well, stay hydrated, eat well and sleep tight!

It's been a while since I checked in! Having a hard time focusing on my summer classes as I don't feel like I'm still in school. I actually have one last exam for one of my classes tomorrow before I move on and to be completely honest, I'm not quite prepared for it. I was going to work on the review today but here I am with only the first few questions filled in. I'm just having a hard time focusing and my health hasn't been doing too hot. I've been feeling a little lightheaded today and I really just sit at the same spot for hours on end, eat badly, and sleep.

I'm going to try and start taking walks in the morning, really want to start running, but I'll see if I even do end up walking in the mornings. I want to start doing at-home workouts too but I really am suffering from how unhealthy I am and I tend to make empty promises with myself but I need to hold myself accountable.

Anywho, that's my quick update. I need to work on this review. Hopefully, I can come back with good news about myself or my studies.

Stay hydrated, eat well, and get some sleep!

Signed up for some summer classes at my university and honestly a little worried, but I'm just going to have to focus and really get through them. Summer for me will be a bit stressful but hopefully I can get through it smoothly. Going to try and make my space productive and add some decoration to motivate myself. It's going to be rough but it's going to be okay no matter what happens!

Just a super quick update. Also need to get a haircut. Anyways, stay hydrated and safe! Eat, sleep, hydrate and take care of yourself!

Finals week is over but I’m stressed as hell still. I might’ve spoken on this but I’m trying to graduate early and I’ll also likely be dropping all my minors unfortunately. I also need to figure out summer classes and my brain is just stressed as hell. All my advisors, friends, and family have been mentioning that minors don’t quite do much for you and in the end they might do anything for you in the long run, but it’s more of something you want to like do if you’re interested on the subject and want to learn more on. It won’t like take away from you, but I still can’t help but wonder about the “what-if’s”. Though in the end, I want to try and get into graduate school and I feel like graduating early will give me time to do research or like internships if I need more. I just really need to get my grades up. Lots to think about and I feel like I’m running out of time.

If you’re having finals still though, good luck! I wish you the best! You’ll do great! Take care of yourself and make sure to eat, sleep, and hydrate!

I have a lot going on this week. I have homework due tonight, a quiz tomorrow, a exam Wednesday, a group assignment due Thursday, and a paper due Friday. I haven’t been motivated this weekend to do much but I need to start on things now and space my time out to work on things. Time seems like it’s passing by way too fast today and it’s making me stressed by the minute.

I made a list to try and help with my motivation, and posting here kind of helps try to boost it so here I am. Might have a mental breakdown or two but I can get through this. Slowly but surely, keep myself in check, and check in with myself when I’m distracted. I got this!!

Good luck for anyone else who’s got a lot going on or any exams coming up! You got this too!! Make sure you’re taking care of yourself! Much love!

Happy Easter for those who celebrate! I’ve actually been a bit productive this weekend. Studied a bit yesterday, thoroughly cleaned my bathroom and room today, tidied up some drawers, and I’m feeling great.

I finally opened this animal crossing box I bought from Target a while back and there’s a wooden calendar with blocks in it. I tried to set it up for today’s date but I think I have misprinted blocks or they probably didn’t quite think it through well enough. I don’t have a 0 on one of the blocks so I can’t change it to 04 for the date nor can I ever put the 30th of each month on. I’ve just decided I’ll change it every month and keep it as a yearly date on top. I feel like it looks better than just taking a block away.

Any who, I don’t that much to update on!

Stay well, hydrate, and eat well!

I’ve been super busy with uni and organizations I feel like I have no time. Or maybe it’s because I’ve made it where I have no time, but I’m doing what I can now! I have an assignment due tonight and an exam tomorrow and there’s just a lot going on till Friday! Though I do have a few things I’ll need to work on before then. Just wanted to post a quick update before I get back to studying.

Eat well, sleep well, and hydrate!

It’s been almost a month again! I need to be a bit more active here.

I haven’t been the best student in the world. I have symptoms of ADHD and I wouldn’t be surprised at all if I have ADHD since it does run in the family. It’s been kicking me in the butt and affecting how I perform in my studies unfortunately. Don’t exactly have access to a doctor yet but I do need to see one!

I’ve also been neglecting one of my positions in an organization I’m in and it’s not okay. I need to get a grip and really get at it. I’ll admit I’m struggling a bit. It’s taking a bit of a toll and I need to straighten myself out and give myself some self-love too. 

On the off-note, I really want to bake more. I baked some biscuits the other day and it just make me remember how much I loved it. I want to keep at it but I haven’t been finding much time of the day to do so. I also need ingredients for that so hopefully I can get some on Sunday and really go at it. Maybe after my exam next week though. 

Anywho, I need to get back to my studies. I’ll try and check in again but maybe I’ll be back here in a month again.

Much love, stay hydrated, and check in with your friends and family!

It’s been almost a month since I’ve updated but hello! I hope all is well. I haven’t been the most productive or studious student in the world. I’ll be honest with that. I need to get back some motivation and clean up my room, start studying more, all that good stuff. I’ve been in a better mood now though so hopefully I’ll get to keep going with that tomorrow.

I’ve been reading “The Invisible Life of Addie Larue”, a novel that TikTok recommended me and it’s been pretty good so far. Will be eventually researching and writing a report on it for one of my classes this semester. I used to read a lot as a kid but that all kind of stopped when my middle school forced students to pick a book out of a few choices, analyze and write about them. I didn’t like being forced to read, rather I wanted to read on my own pace with my own time. Middle school and high school took that enjoyment from me so I didn’t find much enjoyment with it anymore.

I’m glad my professor isn’t pushing in that sense. Rather he’s even mentioned how he hated how grade school made us analyze and look for symbols everywhere. Rather than looking for symbols, looking into the meaning of the words and how they relate to the story is a better stance and I 100% agree. There can be a symbol overall but constantly looking for them in every word and sentence was not the way to go. Others may think otherwise, and that’s okay. Personally, I just feel like this means way more to me and lets me enjoy the book more so.

Any who, that’s my spiel for today. I’ll come around again! Letting my thoughts out here are always nice and I hope others will find it relatable or comforting too if you’re ever coming across these posts!

Much love, stay hydrated