Teeth of God, blood of man

One hour onto a rant. Defect is the only one listening, everyone else has tuned him out. That doesn't seem to matter to him much.

I've been thinking hooves recently. More musings under cut.

My pebble expert decided you can have two

Please accept this humble offering. I hope the smaller pebble doesn't take it personally

⟡ Knows exactly what their damage is and has named it and introduced it to people

⟡ Can narrate their own spiral in real time with impressive clinical accuracy

⟡ Says 'this is a me problem' and then continues having the me problem at full volume

⟡ Has identified their patterns, knows when they're in one, and watches it happen anyway

⟡ Describes their own chaotic behavior with the tone of a nature documentary about someone else

⟡ Says 'I know this is irrational' and then presents the irrational thing with full documentation

⟡ Has done enough self-reflection to know they are going to do the exact thing they just analyzed

⟡ Announces their own red flags upfront as a courtesy and an efficiency measure

⟡ Has therapized themselves into understanding the behavior without being able to stop the behavior

⟡ Provides running commentary on their own decision-making in a way that is both useful and unhelpful

⟡ Knows which of their habits are coping mechanisms and uses them anyway with full awareness

⟡ Can explain exactly why they do the thing they do and cannot stop doing the thing they do

⟡ Says 'future me is going to hate this' and does it with eyes open and no hesitation

⟡ Has made peace with their most chaotic trait by giving it a name and some light boundaries

⟡ Diagnoses their own communication style mid-sentence and continues in the same style

⟡ Knows when they are projecting, names the projection, and finishes projecting

⟡ Has awareness of their avoidance patterns precise enough to predict their own behavior in advance

⟡ Catches themselves catastrophizing, acknowledges it out loud, and catastrophizes more efficiently

⟡ Can trace any of their current issues back to a specific formative moment and does so freely

⟡ Says 'I have a type and this is it' while looking at the very type they said they were done with

⟡ Knows the difference between their actual feelings and their performed feelings and shares both

⟡ Has insight into their own behavior that would be impressive if it translated into change

⟡ Is aware they overthink, thinks about how much they overthink, catches it, continues

⟡ Can explain their attachment style, recognize it in action, and proceed at full speed anyway

⟡ Knows their response to stress, predicts it accurately, and produces it on schedule

⟡ Says 'I'm going to regret this' and does the thing with full and informed consent

⟡ Has so much self-knowledge that it functions as entertainment for the people around them

Whether that's visible or invisible, it's disability pride month so let's see and appreciate the lovely disabled ocs yall have made in the gw2 community 💖

Joining with Mael because I do think some of the stuff he has going on counts as disability, and especially because nonhuman disability is a really interesting subject to me!

I hc that Soundlessness is a very complicated matter for sylvari. Lots of them choose it of their own accord, in order to alleviate another kind of disability: an overtuned Dream connection that leaves them emotionally overwhelmed and overstimulated. In this case, it's a kind of meditative treatment, and increases their quality of life, even if it creates side effects that can be extremely serious in some cases (see: vulnerability to Mordremoth's manipulation).

Despite how Soundlessness is a legitimate strategy that isn't unheard of, there is certainly societal stigma and distrust against them supported by NPC dialogue. You can hear Dreamers express their opinions, considering the silence of the Soundless to be offputting. The sylvari that choose to undergo meditation are still not wholly free from feeling "unwelcome" in the Grove - they simply traded extreme overstimulation for distrust and lack of understanding from their peers. This is why many choose to settle elsewhere, be it throughout Tyria or on the Weeping Isle, a Soundless village.

And then, there is another category entirely, to which only a handful of people belong as of now: forced Soundless.

These are sylvari who died, came back to life and found themselves entirely severed from the Dream, with no way back. They didn't choose this. They had no say in being denied something that is integral to the quality of life of the majority of Dreamer sylvari, and were left to pick up the pieces. I am, of course, talking about the Awakened Sylvari - and Mael himself.

While this bit of dialogue only explicitly states they lost their Wyld Hunt to Joko's will, I personally hc it extended to their empathic connection as well. It's the basis of my headcanons about Mael's Soundlessness. Despite not being under Joko's control, and being a lich of his own, the fact he died and lost all the natural magic of his body means he permanently lost the ability to interact with the sylvari network.

Regular Soundless have control over just how much they want to dampen the Dream connection - and can always go back if they ever so desire, granting them agency over their lives. Still, it's a process carried out gradually, a slow transition from one way of life to another. The mind has time to adapt to the shift, which was not the case with Mael. As a result, he experienced an array of distressing side effects, such as limited ability to emphasize with others (something he feared made him a monster), increased need for closeness, validation and affection (which he choked down for far too long) and an overwhelming feeling of not belonging. Despite a constant journey of self-rediscovery, he still misses his old way of life, and has had several altercations with Caithe over the latter's well-meaning choices (her not disclosing the Pale Tree's health status to him during JW to not worry him, which he took as him being no longer worthy to know how his own Mother is faring.)

If I were to describe Mael's condition to someone unfamiliar with sylvari society, I would describe it as a kind of equivalent to a traumatic brain injury. Yes, it's magic related and not actual physical damage - but magic is just as much a part of sylvari biology as their flesh. Mael's state, brought on by an extremely traumatic event - in his case fatal - led to a vast array of complications in his thinking patterns, emotional state, and ability to communicate with others of his species, as well as exacerbated the symptoms of his (sylvari analog to) bipolar disorder.

Thank you for reading yet more rambles about my boy. I love him so much, your honor. There's things in real life and fantasy that cannot be healed but it doesn't make us any lesser, whether we're born that way or acquire our disability later down the line. As someone who suffers from some degree of invisible disabilities myself (who doesn't in this day and age... hugging y'all) I definitely find it important to explore the subject in media.

Whether that's visible or invisible, it's disability pride month so let's see and appreciate the lovely disabled ocs yall have made in the gw2 community 💖

Joining with Mael because I do think some of the stuff he has going on counts as disability, and especially because nonhuman disability is a really interesting subject to me!

I hc that Soundlessness is a very complicated matter for sylvari. Lots of them choose it of their own accord, in order to alleviate another kind of disability: an overtuned Dream connection that leaves them emotionally overwhelmed and overstimulated. In this case, it's a kind of meditative treatment, and increases their quality of life, even if it creates side effects that can be extremely serious in some cases (see: vulnerability to Mordremoth's manipulation).

Despite how Soundlessness is a legitimate strategy that isn't unheard of, there is certainly societal stigma and distrust against them supported by NPC dialogue. You can hear Dreamers express their opinions, considering the silence of the Soundless to be offputting. The sylvari that choose to undergo meditation are still not wholly free from feeling "unwelcome" in the Grove - they simply traded extreme overstimulation for distrust and lack of understanding from their peers. This is why many choose to settle elsewhere, be it throughout Tyria or on the Weeping Isle, a Soundless village.

And then, there is another category entirely, to which only a handful of people belong as of now: forced Soundless.

These are sylvari who died, came back to life and found themselves entirely severed from the Dream, with no way back. They didn't choose this. They had no say in being denied something that is integral to the quality of life of the majority of Dreamer sylvari, and were left to pick up the pieces. I am, of course, talking about the Awakened Sylvari - and Mael himself.

While this bit of dialogue only explicitly states they lost their Wyld Hunt to Joko's will, I personally hc it extended to their empathic connection as well. It's the basis of my headcanons about Mael's Soundlessness. Despite not being under Joko's control, and being a lich of his own, the fact he died and lost all the natural magic of his body means he permanently lost the ability to interact with the sylvari network.

Regular Soundless have control over just how much they want to dampen the Dream connection - and can always go back if they ever so desire, granting them agency over their lives. Still, it's a process carried out gradually, a slow transition from one way of life to another. The mind has time to adapt to the shift, which was not the case with Mael. As a result, he experienced an array of distressing side effects, such as limited ability to emphasize with others (something he feared made him a monster), increased need for closeness, validation and affection (which he choked down for far too long) and an overwhelming feeling of not belonging. Despite a constant journey of self-rediscovery, he still misses his old way of life, and has had several altercations with Caithe over the latter's well-meaning choices (her not disclosing the Pale Tree's health status to him during JW to not worry him, which he took as him being no longer worthy to know how his own Mother is faring.)

If I were to describe Mael's condition to someone unfamiliar with sylvari society, I would describe it as a kind of equivalent to a traumatic brain injury. Yes, it's magic related and not actual physical damage - but magic is just as much a part of sylvari biology as their flesh. Mael's state, brought on by an extremely traumatic event - in his case fatal - led to a vast array of complications in his thinking patterns, emotional state, and ability to communicate with others of his species, as well as exacerbated the symptoms of his (sylvari analog to) bipolar disorder.

Thank you for reading yet more rambles about my boy. I love him so much, your honor. There's things in real life and fantasy that cannot be healed but it doesn't make us any lesser, whether we're born that way or acquire our disability later down the line. As someone who suffers from some degree of invisible disabilities myself (who doesn't in this day and age... hugging y'all) I definitely find it important to explore the subject in media.

GW2CC revenge against @lady-quen !!

apparently, cats' kidneys tend to be the thing that takes them down, something about their bodies being unable to self-clean their kidneys, and the vaccine is supposed revitalize the body's ability to do just that. It would be very VERY fucking cool to have cats suddenly reaching 30 years of age be the normal thing.

dude cracked the case about WHY kidneys fail, across the board as far as i can tell. turns out there's a specific molecule whose job it is to attach to waste and signal macrophages to come eat it. it remains inactive in cats for some reason, but the molecule is still there. basically what he's done is found the switch to activate them. this will be profound not only for our domestic babies, but for big cats too - especially cheetahs!

although his research was focused on cats, it's already being used to develop drugs for humans too!

on top of that, since these molecules are tags for waste, this could also dramatically lower the rate of fatty liver disease, liver cancer, urinary crystals, rheumatoid arthritis, and even some neurological cases! like, they're hoping it may have an impact on parkinson's and alzheimers, but it DOES have an impact on stroke recovery. like. holy shit.

furthermore, he's insisting that the feline drug be affordable if and when it rolls out onto the market. he wants this to be something anyone can get for their cat!! idk how much sway he'll have over the human drug, but hopefully enough that it, too, won't be that expensive.

annnnnd in his research that he's still doing for the human side of things, he's found a potential link between this molecule and estrogen. in the 20,000 samples he's tested, women between ages 10 and 29 had the highest amount of this molecule present in their blood (a higher amount means Something Fucky is going on, essentially. There's a higher amount of waste the body is trying to clean out) but it drops down to be almost equal amongst men and women after menopause. it hasn't been looked into yet, but fuck, just the fact it's noted and known and probably WILL be looked into soon??? imagine if this is what leads to figuring out all the various ways the ovaries and uterus fucks with people and how to fix it. or even like, maybe there's something about estrogen that makes it work better. who knows! but it's rad the link is there to be researched :D

As for the study itself, the 360 day follow up on stage 3 kidney failure kitties showed that the control had a survival rate of about 20%, while the test group had a survival rate of 80%