40% really is the 50% of 80%...

cmon show a little cleavage bro its tasteful

medical malpractice? not to me. not if it’s you.

Watching a new sitcom is just “oh so that’s where that meme comes from”

you go to block a porn bot and it has a picture of you as its icon

little man you are straight up going nowhere

i am aware of the problems. however. i would rather be comfy in my bed. good night.

WHOA kids born in 13 will be turning 2000 this year

Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious

My coworker just completely killed me by casually throwing "you can lead a horse to water but if you drown it you have to walk back" into the conversation