here is a (not very) quick guide to fighting dirty for your next story/maladaptive daydream
head butting. when done right, can be very effective. when done wrong, will give you a concussion. the hardest part of your skull is the lump below your hairline in the middle (hopefully yk which bit i mean). go ahead and slam the heel of your palm into it; you will notice it doesn’t hurt your head that much but it does hurt you hand a little. depending on how strong your skull is, it might not hurt at all. so, if you slam that bit of your skull into someone’s nose (the weakest part of the skull) you will do them significant damage without hurting yourself that much. even more effective if you use some kind of clinch to pull their face into your skull
on that subject, clinches. im sure there’s a bunch of clinch holds in martial arts but we’re talking about dirty fighting so they don’t matter. what you wanna do is grab the ears of your opponent in a fist. this will allow you to move their head around as you so please, bc if they try to resist, you could end up ripping their ear off. it’s a very effective way to manipulate your opponent’s position and open them up to punches/headbutts/whatever else your twisted mind can think of. you can grab one ear or you can grab both, depends on what the moment calls for
the other clinch is very similar except you grab fistfuls of their hair instead of their ears. same effect, though the potential for grievous bodily harm is lesser
eye gouges. pretty simple, just dig your thumbs into the inner corner of their eyes and push. hard. you should start to feel their eyes bulge a little; keep going.
crotch shots. work best with an opponent who has a dick and balls, but also hurts if they have a vagina (just not as much). for maximum effect, use either the tops of your toes or your shin; gets you the most momentum and hits the hardest. when done well, this will incapacitate a dick and balls opponent for a not insignificant amount of time. bonus points for steel toed boots
wind pipe strike. there are two ways to do this: 1) have your hand out flat, then sort of tense up your fingers and overlap the long ones a little (im not sure how to describe this aptly, the best i can come up with is it’s a similar position as if you were to finger someone with all four fingers. does that make sense?) anyway then you jab them slap bang in the middle of their throat. this will not only hurt, but temporarily stun them as they struggle to breathe for a hot second, allowing you the opportunity to land some more hits. 2) punch them in their throat. again, aim for the middle. this has a high likelihood of crushing their wind pipe as opposed to just bruising it so use sparingly
biting, scratching, tearing and clawing. dont be afraid to get your hands dirty. or your mouth. part of your brain is gonna be telling you to chill out but ignore it. when you bite them, bite as hard as you can and don’t let go until either they make you or you win. when you scratch them, dig as deep into their flesh as you can, and then tear. if you have long nails, stab them with your hand. and dont just go for arms or shit like that, go for their gut, their throat, their face. think like an aggressive chimp
when you throw a punch, twist your hand just as you make contact. this should cut them up a bit on top of the punch damage and it’ll bleed, which they won’t expect and will hopefully freak them out a little bit. at the very least, it’ll surprise them and throw them off for a hot second. now, full disclosure, i don’t know if this actually works, i have never seen it in action. but the guy who told me about it seemed really confident. he did say it took a bit of practice to make it work though. anyway take this one with a grain of salt
use anything and everything at your disposal. i dont just mean using a pot plant as a weapon, though that is a good idea, but also use things things as an obstacle. take the plant out of the pot then throw it in their face. then throw the soil in their face as well. youre not just trying to deal them damage, youre also trying to avoid damage yourself, and your surroundings are your best friend
you also wanna focus on vulnerable areas. crotch, nose, eyes and throat are pretty obvious, hitting them in the head is always a good idea, anything squishy is a good shout. hitting someone in the kidneys is a great way to stun them, it really hurts and almost always catches them off guard. same goes for liver and spleen. if you can deal some damage to their spine, do it bc that will really fuck them up, but be warned it’s not the easiest target and could hurt you as well
adrenaline. first, you wanna learn how to ride an adrenaline high for maximum effect. induce one as soon as it becomes clear a fight will start (yk how in boxing and mma and shit the fighter get all up in each others faces and like. yell at each other? that’s them getting their adrenaline up. so basically get hype is what i’m saying). second, you wanna throw their adrenaline high off. the best way to do this is confuse them as their adrenaline is kicking in, bc that’s gonna reset their adrenaline high. as you see them getting hype, ask them how their day has been, or what their favourite ice cream flavour is, smthn really banal like that. you’d be surprised how effective this can be
in fact, confusion in general. just start shouting random things at them. if you get the opportunity, do smthn weird, like a little jig. this will throw them off their game. seriously, confusion is your best friend. it will take the wind out of their sails and they won’t fight as well
on a similar note, frustration. frustrate your opponent. flick them on their nose (or other demeaning attacks), make some yo mama jokes, do your best to be as annoying yet effective as possible and they will get very frustrated. this might sound like a bad thing, but people don’t fight as well when they’re frustrated. they might hit harder, but less of their hits will land, so overall it works out in your favour
dont be afraid to look stupid. ties into my last two points but your goal is not to look cool, it’s to get the fuck out of there in one piece. it is incredibly hard to look good whilst fighting unless the fight has been choreographed or youre doing martial arts. idk how many of you have seen a street fight play out but it’s not attractive. you look dumb. and that’s ok as long as you win
go batshit insane. this is arguably the most important piece of advice. for all i’ve taught you about technique, it’s not all that important; more just another tool in your belt. the best way to win a dirty fight is to lose all sense of decency and lose your shit. don’t hesitate to break bones; snap their fingers, crush their shoulders, whatever you can think of, do it. like i said in the biting bit, do not hold back. i heard this story once of a guy who got jumped by a group of would-be hard men and he ripped off one of their ears (remember how i said you could do that pretty easily? do it) and then took a bite. idk if this is actually true but stranger things have happened and tbh even if it’s a lie, the principle remains true. your goal with going batshit insane is not to merely deal damage, it’s also to freak them out. if a guy rips off your ear and takes a bite, are you gonna keep fighting him? or are you gonna run away bc what in the actual fuck was that? even if they do stick around, they won’t be fighting as well bc they’re gonna be scared, theyre gonna be hesitant, and theyre not gonna be confident, which means they’ll throw shitty punches. make them think you are genuinely insane and they’ll be a lot more nervous about fighting you. dirty fighting has just as much to do with psychology as it does with physical violence
finally, we have the only rule of fighting dirty; never start it, but always finish it. you don’t want to fight (or at least you shouldnt) but someone has forced your hand. you should be trying to end the fight as soon as possible, and the most effective way to do that is to win. dont go overboard; just do as much as you need to to get away and hope you don’t fuck them up too much. ideally you come away with a clear conscience. i really wanna stress the importance of getting away bc that is what youre trying to do here, youre trying to get to safety by any means necessary. dirty fighting should be avoided at all costs, but if you really have to, now you know how. or your character does. i hope no one uses this to actually fight people irl
now for some parting wisdom; just bc someone is a trained fighter does not mean they stand a chance in a dirty fight. the thing about martial arts and pro fighting is that there are rules. also that it is a sport. the rules mean a pro fighter will have it drilled into them to fight clean, and even if they fight dirty, their version of dirty is a lot cleaner than the shit i’ve talked about here. the fact it’s a sport means it’s only really effective when you’re opponent is also playing the sport. you get a football player to play rugby and they will probably get badly hurt, regardless of if you mean american football or soccer. same logic applies to martial arts; you get a boxer in an mma ring, theyre fucked. you get an mma fighter whose strength is grappling in a boxing ring, they will probably also be fucked. you see what i mean? there’s a reason no one fights dirty professionally - a lot of people would die. thank you for your time