Isaac. 30s. he/him. Whump writer. Buy me a ko-fi here! May be NSFW. Torture, self-sacrifice, field medicine, recovery, angst. Honor Bound, Lux in Tenebris, Beneath Gunmetal Skies, Pale Horse Planet, David & Nia, AO3. Prompts & asks welcome. Icon by @who-needs-a-life-anyways
The war against the syndicates is over. Anyone who remains knows to keep their heads down and stay out of the way. Those who don't risk torture and death.
Isaac grew up training to fight. He has spent the past six years of his life doing everything he can to strike back at the cruel syndicate families that destroyed his life. He and his friends have all been broken by the syndicates, one way or another. The group travels the country sabotaging the vicious Stormbecks, the syndicate that controls the region with an iron fist.
When Sam, the group's youngest member, is kidnapped and tortured by the Stormbecks' son, Isaac would do anything to get them back. The ragtag family launches a mission to rescue Sam, and Isaac makes a choice that will shatter all their lives forever.
Explanation for why my name now matches one of my OCs
Honor Bound, Book 1: edited and published with 3 new chapters on Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, and Amazon
Editor: @kys-chai-and-books
Honor Bound chapters here
~
Honor Bound, Book 2: edited and published with 5 new chapters on Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, and Amazon
Editor: @kys-chai-and-books
Honor Bound 2 chapters here
~
Honor Bound, Book 3: edited and published with 2 new chapters on Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, and Amazon
Editor: @kys-chai-and-books
Honor Bound 3 chapters here
~
Honor Bound, Book 4: edited and published with 2 new chapters on Barnes and Noble, Bookshop, and Amazon
Editor: @kys-chai-and-books
Honor Bound 4 chapters here
~
Honor Bound, Book 5: edited and published with 4 new chapters on Barnes and Noble, Bookshop, and Amazon
Editor: @kys-chai-and-books
Honor Bound 5 chapters here
~
Honor Bound, Book 6: edited and published with 9 new chapters on Barnes and Noble, Bookshop, and Amazon
Editor: @kys-chai-and-books
Honor Bound 6 chapters here
~
Vera, an Honor Bound prequel and companion to books 2 and 3: edited and published with 3 new chapters on Barnes and Noble, Bookshop, and Amazon
Editor: @kys-chai-and-books
Vera series chapters here
~
AUs:
Vampire AU: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Gavin is raised by Gray
James rescues young Gavin
Magic AU to this chapter where Gavin is hanged
Sacrificial Ram
AU where Isaac and Gavin have a psychic link from childhood
AU where Gavin’s father possesses Isaac to punish Gavin
Isaac/Gavin/Vera/Tori foursome
Bad day part 1, part 2
Google link to AUs
~
Other assorted pieces:
Honor Bound partially translated into Russian, by @milesstannum
~
Ash/Isaac Crossover AU(s)
Crossover AUs with @ashintheairlikesnow
Links to AUs here
~
The Collection Box/Honor Bound Crossover AU
Crossover with @whump-it and her BBU AU The Collection Box
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
~
Isaac/Raye Crossover AU
Crossover with @newbornwhumperfly and their Morja and Company story
AU chapters here
~
Isaac’s AO3
Isaac’s Ko-fi
Review my books on Goodreads here
Isaac’s bookshop.org link (I am an affiliate and do get commission if you use this link)
~
When the story begins in 2029...
Isaac Moore, 27: the protector of the team. He’s been tasked with keeping them all safe, but he tasks himself with so much more. He’s been trained to fight the crime syndicates since he was a teen. He’s brave, protective, and would do anything for the team’s youngest member, Sam.
~
Sam Vasterling, 19: the youngest and newest member of the team. They are Isaac’s little sibling in every way but blood. They’re sweet, devoted, and loved. They didn’t want this life, but that choice was taken away when they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Now they’re part of the ragtag team, learning how to survive.
~
Gavin Stormbeck, 24: the son of the Stormbeck crime syndicate. He grew up learning to hurt people at the command of his parents, and has never known any life but the world he was born into. When he meets Isaac, he realizes there is something outside his own blood-soaked world, and would do anything to find out more.
~
Vera Novak, 36: a fighter in every way, and Isaac’s best friend. She became a cop to fight the syndicates, and learned the cruelty of the syndicates better than most. She fights by Isaac’s side to keep the team safe. She’s fiercely loyal to her family and would do anything to protect them... including hiding her dark past.
~
Gray Uriah, 52: Gray is the heart and leader of the team. Empathetic, caring, and sensitive, they see the places their team needs support the most. They are always ready and willing to put someone else first. They are the only one that still remembers how the world was before the syndicates, and they’ve spent their whole life trying to fix things one way or another.
~
Finn Dunham, 27: they have the unfortunate gift of having training as a combat medic. It’s unfortunate, they say, because that guarantees they’ll always be farthest from danger, waiting to patch up the team whenever they get hurt. They want nothing more but to be in the thick of the action.
~
Ellis Price, 34: Finn’s partner. They have no family left but the team. When Ellis’s family was gunned down by the Stormbecks, they vowed to do whatever they had to in order to bring the syndicates to justice. They hide their pain under a mask of sarcasm and snark but will fight you if you threaten their team.
~
Tori Nasser, 33: Tori was involved in the resistance movements with Gray years ago. Now she runs a safehouse, helping out victims of the syndicates and trying to keep innocent people safe. She enjoys her quiet life under the radar. When she answers Gray’s call and lets the team into her protection, she has no idea what they bring to her doorstep… good, and bad.
~
Joseph Stormbeck, 51 (at the time of Honor Bound): Fourteen years before the start of Honor Bound, Vera was assigned to infiltrate Joseph’s syndicate. As the head of his family, he didn’t take kindly to the police snooping around his business. Rather than kill Vera outright, he decided to capture her and torment her for months. Suave, patient, and wildly sadistic, he became the subject of her nightmares when she’s asleep, and awake.
~
Ryan Pearson, 24 (at the time of the Vera series): Fourteen years before the start of Honor Bound, Ryan joined Joseph’s syndicate for safety, purpose, and most importantly, a job. When he was assigned night shift guard duty for Vera, he figured it was going to be an easy paycheck, babysitting an easy captive. He had no way of knowing the consequences of that assignment.
~
Colleen Stormbeck, 49 (at the time of Honor Bound 2): Colleen lives as one of the top syndicate members, in control of one of the biggest regions in the shattered country. She loves her husband and her son more than anything else in the world. When her husband is taken from her and her son nearly dies (again) at Vera’s hand, she decides to exercise her power as a Stormbeck to set the world right again: by hunting down and destroying Isaac and his team. She would do anything to maintain her family’s status and power, and there’s no one she wouldn’t cut down who got in her way.
~
Edrissa Clarke, 18: Edrissa has lived for the past 2 years as a syndicate plaything. Only her own spirit and the hope of seeing her brother again kept her alive. When the team rescues her during her own sale to another syndicate, she has no choice but to stay with the team for her safety, and theirs. She has no idea what she’s found in the family when they take her in.
~
Daniel Schiester, 42 (at the time of Honor Bound 2): he is the mysterious mayor of Crayton, the town that holds the line for the north. He has a grudge against the syndicates and takes particular interest in Gavin. He oversees the protection and safety of the refugees that come into his care both to make up for his dark past, and to carry out his own version of justice in the present.
~
Zachariah Medina, 18 (at the time of Honor Bound 3): Zachariah grew up in Fort Meyers, and he learned young that it was either work for the syndicates, or starve. When he gets a job at the Stormbeck household as a security guard, it is a relief. That relief is quickly replaced with horror as he realizes the implications of having to protect the Stormbecks - and who he’s forced to hurt in the process.
~
Cast faceclaims/fancasts here, here, here
Honor Bound playlist here
Isaac moodboard, Finn/Ellis moodboard, Vera moodboard, Gavin moodboard, Isaac/Gavin moodboard, Isaac/Gavin in captivity moodboard
Art from others:
Moodboards:
Moodboards by @orchidscript: Sam/Isaac/Gavin and Tori/Vera
Moodboards by @newbornwhumperfly: Gavin Stormbeck Uriah, Isaac and Sam, Gavin/Isaac book 3 & 4, Gavin/Isaac book 5 & 6, Tori/Vera, Gray Uriah, Daniel Schiester, Vera
Moodboards by @newandfiguringitout: Gavin and Isaac captivity, Isaac, Sam, Gavin, Ellis, Vera, Isaac and Sam, Isaac/Gavin
Art:
Commissions by @albino-whumpee: Isaac/Gavin, Isaac and Sam, HMS ToriVera, Isaac/Gavin book 6
Commissions by @boxboysandotherwhump: Isaac/Gavin book 6, Gavin’s nightmare, Isaac, Gavin, and Sam book 6
Commission by @erissa002: Vera
Commission by @luckydanart: Sam in book 3, Isaac/Gavin in book 4
Gavin Uriah then/now by @who-needs-a-life-anyways
Nata the cat (?) and Zelda the dog (!), Gavin takes the trash out, the team meets Tom Bombadil by @burtlederp
The end of the Stormbecks by @mostlyjustwhump
The family by @my-whumpy-little-heart
Isaac/Gavin by @luckydanart
Music and more:
Gavin Stormbeck Uriah playlist, Isaac Moore playlist by @newbornwhumperfly
The Honor Bound Season 1 Episode 1 TV pilot of my dreams by @butwhatifyouwrite
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
you reeeeally want your handlers to view the living weapon as exempt from moral consideration so they don't feel guilty about how it's treated (including its existence, devoid of autonomy and humanity, in the first place), but you also reeeeeally want them to displace their own blame onto it, the instrument who physically carried out their orders, so that they can order things done which they otherwise couldn't stomach. right? don't worry about it <3
just finished this month's book club book, went skimming goodreads reviews afterwards as you do, got my breath taken away by this absolutely brutal ending to one of the multi-paragraph 1 star reviews
Thank you so much to @twigsofmanyfaces for letting me borrow your boy Trouble and shake him like a cocktail shaker. If y'all haven’t read their work yet, you should do that immediately!!
The bar Trouble frequents sees all types: humans, non-humans, and a certain subset of both that Trouble just loves getting his teeth into. Tonight is no different. Three of the usual assholes can’t seem to take their eyes off him. Trouble is happy enough to go along with their schemes for long enough to get his meal - until he realizes he isn’t the only one in the angels’ basement.
This takes place during an alternate version of Dee’s first captivity.
Lux in Tenebris Masterlist here
AO3
This is a series. Start here, continued from here.
Contents: PTSD, religious trauma, past punishment, healing, fangs
~
This bullshit with the Waffle House asshole had set Dee back so much. He slept almost twelve hours the first night, mending from what the angels had done, but when he woke, he was jumpy, frightened, scurrying back to bed with each little noise from the hallway or outside the window. He ate when Trouble ordered food, and peered out the window at all hours. He opened all the drawers in the suite and took out the book he found in one of them - and then dropped it in alarm when he realized it was a Bible. Trouble poured water over it, dumped it into the trash, and took the bag out himself. The one thing they didn’t do was cuddle - and Trouble tried not to lose his mind with worry about why.
The next afternoon, Dee finally ended his misery. “Trouble?” he murmured, drawing in close, but not close enough to touch. “Are you… did I make you… angry?”
Trouble blinked. “Sweetie… no, why?” What on earth could you possibly have done…?
Dee stared miserably at his hands as he whispered one word: “bit.”
Trouble hugged him close, pulling him all but into his lap on the bed. Dee pressed his face into Trouble’s chest, just like he had the night before last. He heaved a shuddery sigh.
“I sh-shouldn’t have,” Dee breathed. “I know I shouldn’t have used my teeth. But I… I just–”
Trouble pulled back and cradled Dee’s face, tilting it up so he could look him in the eye. “Don’t tell me you’ve been torturing yourself with this since we got back,” he said, a little sternly. Dee’s lip wobbled. “Dee… It’s okay. That guy was an asshole and you were trying to protect me. Okay? I’m not mad. I promise I’m not mad. I would have told you if I was, okay? I promise I will tell you if I’m ever mad. But I wish… I do wish you had told me you’d been worried about this. You’ve been spinning yourself up over something you didn’t have to, sweetheart. I’m not mad that you did what you did. I just wish you’d talked to me sooner so you didn’t tie yourself up in knots for the past few days.”
Dee stared back at him soundlessly, eyes huge. Trouble would have given anything to know what he was thinking. He offered up a shot in the dark.
“Dee… You’re not bad for biting,” he whispered. “You’re not bad for fighting back.”
Tears flooded the demon’s eyes. They spilled over his cheeks, moistening Trouble’s palms. Slowly, carefully, he opened his mouth. His fangs were descended. They glinted in the warm glow of the lamp beside the bed.
“There they are,” Trouble murmured, and pressed the pad of his thumb into the point of one fang. Dee’s eyes fluttered shut. Trouble felt his breath warm against his hand. Slowly, he leaned forward and kissed Dee’s top lip. Then, so, so gently, he brushed his lips against one fang. Then the other. “Not scary to me,” he said softly.
Dee’s eyes opened. More tears ran down his cheeks. His mouth slowly closed. “No?”
Trouble couldn’t help but laugh as he flashed his own razor-sharp smile. “No, love. You could never scare me off for biting. You could never make me angry for fighting back. And I never, never want to make you feel like you need to. Yeah?”
Slowly, Dee reached up and brushed his fingertips against Trouble’s lips. When they parted, he ran a fingertip along the points of each deadly tooth.
Trouble found his chest tightening. No one had ever touched him there before - no one who hadn’t died soon after, anyway. No one else’s skin or flesh had ever touched his teeth with gentleness. Like they were a gift, instead of a tool of punishment and survival. Trouble almost - almost - asked Dee to stop.
When Dee was finished, he dropped his hand. It rested on Trouble’s thigh. Trouble’s skin tingled. “Love you,” he said softly around a spasming throat.
The demon began to purr. He curled up against Trouble’s chest, his warm little body fitting perfectly under Trouble’s chin. “Love you,” he whispered. “Could we… could we maybe… do something tomorrow? Outside?”
“Of course, my love,” Trouble said as he held him. “Whatever you want. Anything you want to do.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Look man, I don't know. There are a lot of fascist fuckwits trying their best to ruin everything for everyone right now. There have often been a lot of fascist fuckwits trying to ruin everything for everyone. Not to downplay the pain and trauma we're all feeling at having to struggle through this particular go-round when the future looks especially dark, but it's not exactly a new thing in human history. Alas.
There are still many, many people telling the fascist fuckwits to eat shit. There are still long green spring evenings and slow golden summer afternoons and winter nights and autumn leaves. There are still coffee shops and weird little bookstores and small businesses on sidewalks lined with flowered trees. There are still sunrises and sunsets and blue skies and ocean shores and mountains. Oh yes, there are still mountains, which I have an especial fondness for. High up there in thin air, you can see forever.
There are still Gay People In Your Phone and texts and in-jokes. There are your blorbos. There is still fic and fanart. There are still books and music and games and art. There is a lot of art. Even with the AI beast trying to gobble and commercialize everything, there's still art! There are still people who think using your own brain to do things is important! There are still universities and publishing houses and other places where it's our job to think about things that matter!
There is still work that feels fulfilling to do. There are still constant little moments of quiet and beauty and rest. There are still jaw-dropping pictures of nebulae and galaxies and the great immensity of space, as we continue to learn things we never knew before. And amid all those stars, there is still a tiny, beautiful, and vulnerable blue planet which we only get to live on for a very short time, and there are still kids who are counting on us to make sure they get to inherit it in some kind of recognizable form. There is still the weird fact that when you give someone a hug and sit with them for a while and tell them over and over that it will be okay, it actually feels like it might be okay. I think that all means something.
Doomerism is really easy right now. I get it. I honestly 100% do. But I also don't see any point whatsoever in throwing up our hands and letting said fascist fuckwits gleefully terrify us into submission and make us live in fear and act like they're the Actual Meaning of the World (they are not). They suck so incredibly hard, but they're also so small and so stupid and so ultimately insignificant. They will not define this particular moment if we don't let them, and if we stick around to make sure they don't. Fuck 'em. I believe in you.
All art is political, but in this day and age why not swing for the fences. Make all your characters queer. Make all your characters POC. Make all your characters women. Make all your characters disabled. Make all the good guys socialists. Make the villain an amalgamation of ICE, the military, Meta, and Lockheed Martin rolled into one. You have nothing to lose but the posers who wouldn't like you anyway
I missed some that some reblogs pointed out, so uh. Make all your characters immigrants. Make all your characters refugees. Make all your characters indigenous.
Make them win.
I noticed a while ago that there are so many stories about struggle against the status quo, but so few stories about actual wins. So fuck it. Make em win. I'm tired of the alternative.
certified genius character getting a concussion and their team having to witness them act confused and clumsy and out of character is a 10/10 prompt and i need more fics like this. currently working on one too 🤫
I love willing guard dogs <3 I love characters who devote themselves to someone to an all consuming and unhealthy extent and are aware of it and decide they don't care. I love when characters will tear the world apart for the ones they love regardless of whether or not they have any feelings about it. I love when a characters morals mean nothing next to the person they love. I love when they are fully capable of taking care of themselves and want to be owned and doted on anyway. I love when they brutally murder someone and the other looks at them with silent approval and they preen just a little, knowing they're doing a good job. I love. Guard dogs <3
I love when they look to their companion/handler for instructions on what to do subconsciously. I love when they're covered in blood and burying their face in their chest saying they're so glad they're safe. I love when they could be free and choose not to be, because why would they ever want that when their Person is right here? I love when someone refers to them as that persons attack dog and they don't even deny it. I love horrible toxic and mutually obsessive attack dog and handler dynamics hello hello hello-
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
There's this video I love of a kid about to do his first motocross race (very tiny, smol baby) and he's scared and his mom is telling him he's got it and he wails "I doOON'T GOT IT!" And the mom says "you do. It's hard, but you got it, baby." And sends him off
And you hear the kid talking to himself through the whole track. He starts by saying "you got it, baby." Then "you got it, Matthew." Then "I got this. I got this. I GOT THIS!" It makes me weep every time
I've been thinking a lot about the AU where Gavin is raised by Gray after his parents are murdered when he's young... I remember you mentioning that he would take Sam's place when Sam is taken by his cousin, and then him getting taken by DFS..
I can't stop thinking about this AU — it would be so freaking sad and whumpy for gavin I love it.
And oh how Gray would get as they witness Gavin go through so much... I also loooove the idea of little Gavin cuddling with Gray when he gets his nightmares, him learning how to be 'normal', Gray teaching him how to be a kid. 😭
I'm in love with baby Gavin, he's such a cute kid in every AU 😭 I'm imagining his little hand in Gray's and his big bug eyes as he stares at everything around him
Ahhhhh this AU!!!!
Contents: sadism, masochism, borderline bdsm
I do love that Gavin would have had a chance to be a kid with Gray, and would have grown up knowing he was safe and loved. He would have had that chance to be a hero for Sam because he would have grown up seeing people being heroic for a good cause for almost his entire life. And he would have had Gray reinforcing this feeling that he is worthy and good for his entire life. He would have learned so much from everyone around him and discovered who he was so much sooner.
The thing about this AU is... his relationship with Isaac would have been so much more fucked up though. Gavin would still have that sadistic streak, and Isaac would still have that throbbing ache under his skin telling him that he is unworthy unless he's sacrificing for his loved ones. And once Isaac found out Gavin was good with a knife... ohhhh boy
I picture Isaac going to Gavin's tent late at night, eyes downcast, cheeks flushed with the shame of asking. Gavin finally pulls the question out of him:
"Will you... will you h-hurt me, Gavin?"
At first Gavin refuses; he left that behind in his childhood. Or, at least, he wants to believe that. But he still has dreams of people bleeding under his knife. He's looked at Isaac and wondered how Isaac would look under his knife.
So he lays Isaac out, binds his wrists behind him with a handkerchief. He leans Isaac back against his chest and gently tugs his shirt up to reveal his trembling stomach. And, gently, he begins to cut. Isaac groans under the knife, trembling, hands twisting behind him. He presses his forehead against Gavin's neck as Gavin carves his way up Isaac's chest.
"More?" he asks.
Isaac nods, sweat darkening his hair.
Gavin fits his hand over Isaac's mouth to muffle the sound as he cries out.
i wanted to do, like, a proper analysis and go back and re-read individual scenes and take notes, and maybe even make a blog post about it, but since it seems i'll never have time for that 🥲 for now i just wanted to say that gavin is one of the best representations of child/familial SA i've ever read. i don't know if that was the intended interpretation, and i know that's not overtly what happened, but there's so much from his story, from the way the stormbecks forced him into torture, in a way where he didn't even realize he was being coerced because his parents love him, obviously they do!, that parallels a lot of common CSA dynamics. and this scene where i think gavin is reading a book gray gave him? and realizes what his parents did to him was abuse... how covert it often is, how it so often comes from people a child trusts the most, how they can't even trust their own memory of it afterwards, and then that process of realization. just super interesting!!! gavin is one of my favorite characters Ever because his story is so layered in metaphor, like how he's trans but he's not but that's still one of the things his story is about, and the CSA thing i feel like is one of those things... i mean, he *was* blatantly coerced into raping isaac by colleen, which in a way is rape too, but even without anything obviously sexual at all, the torture as a metaphor for CSA... MWAH. i'm obsessed with him. his story packs So Much, i truly can't believe he started off as just a nameless whumper. now he's the kind of character i would have my lit students analyze... if HB wasn't so whumpy, but, you know 😂
I can say that it wasn't at the forefront of my mind while I was writing, but I look back at it now and go... huh. I was working through some stuff, huh.
The chapter where Gavin makes some realizations came to me when I was having a really bad mental health day. This line came to me and I had to get the scene around it:
“These books tell me how this kind of, of trauma—” Gavin’s chest heaved in a sob. “—affects you. They tell me it’ll be hard to establish solid relationships. That it’ll be hard to trust myself. That I’m gonna hurt, for the rest of my life, and every time I read this shit it feels like I’m reading my own fucking eulogy.”
Gavin is so dear to me in so many ways, and one of the reasons he gets under my skin is because... he didn't break the cycle. Not right away. We meet him while he's right in the middle of perpetuating the cycle. But he digs himself out of it anyway
And then his boyfriend's best friend kills both his parents, because I'm a sucker for that kind of ending :)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Would marcus ever ground himself using the piercings or tattoos? like pulling on it enough to feel pain and remember he wouldn't be allowed have that as a lev (maybe not a face one ik military trains it out of you to ever touch your face for no specific reason. belly button one through his shirt? jake signals to him to touch his ear? he goes to press an ear piece and there's no ear piece but he brushes a piercing?)
Ohhh! I like that idea. He's the type that would be soothed by looking at a tattoo, maybe on his hands. No tattoos allowed for the Lev's, especially not anywhere where anyone can see. But he would just stare at the tattoos on his hands and remember that there's no way he can have those and also be a Lev
I've been thinking a lot about the AU where Gavin is raised by Gray after his parents are murdered when he's young... I remember you mentioning that he would take Sam's place when Sam is taken by his cousin, and then him getting taken by DFS..
I can't stop thinking about this AU — it would be so freaking sad and whumpy for gavin I love it.
And oh how Gray would get as they witness Gavin go through so much... I also loooove the idea of little Gavin cuddling with Gray when he gets his nightmares, him learning how to be 'normal', Gray teaching him how to be a kid. 😭
I'm in love with baby Gavin, he's such a cute kid in every AU 😭 I'm imagining his little hand in Gray's and his big bug eyes as he stares at everything around him
Ahhhhh this AU!!!!
Contents: sadism, masochism, borderline bdsm
I do love that Gavin would have had a chance to be a kid with Gray, and would have grown up knowing he was safe and loved. He would have had that chance to be a hero for Sam because he would have grown up seeing people being heroic for a good cause for almost his entire life. And he would have had Gray reinforcing this feeling that he is worthy and good for his entire life. He would have learned so much from everyone around him and discovered who he was so much sooner.
The thing about this AU is... his relationship with Isaac would have been so much more fucked up though. Gavin would still have that sadistic streak, and Isaac would still have that throbbing ache under his skin telling him that he is unworthy unless he's sacrificing for his loved ones. And once Isaac found out Gavin was good with a knife... ohhhh boy
I picture Isaac going to Gavin's tent late at night, eyes downcast, cheeks flushed with the shame of asking. Gavin finally pulls the question out of him:
"Will you... will you h-hurt me, Gavin?"
At first Gavin refuses; he left that behind in his childhood. Or, at least, he wants to believe that. But he still has dreams of people bleeding under his knife. He's looked at Isaac and wondered how Isaac would look under his knife.
So he lays Isaac out, binds his wrists behind him with a handkerchief. He leans Isaac back against his chest and gently tugs his shirt up to reveal his trembling stomach. And, gently, he begins to cut. Isaac groans under the knife, trembling, hands twisting behind him. He presses his forehead against Gavin's neck as Gavin carves his way up Isaac's chest.
"More?" he asks.
Isaac nods, sweat darkening his hair.
Gavin fits his hand over Isaac's mouth to muffle the sound as he cries out.