Kyle Swann

lost two years of your life cause of covid - then got hit with inflation right after. we're down tremendously

And still gon thrive cus it’s what we do.

brother this ain’t a kumbaya words of affirmation chain. the price of groceries is very real out here

I guarantee that Monica at the front desk has not been able to live this review down and her coworkers absolutely bring it up regularly.

If I were Monica I'd print this review out and frame it

my scrub daddy just bit me

If you’re a poor person listen spending less on things that makes you happy/only spending money on essentials will not get you out of poverty but will make you want to kill yourself

Everyone gets so mad when they see poor ppl spend money on anything other than food and rents and i gotta tell you being a “good” poor is a misery trip you’ll never please these people

What we’ve gotta understand is that “the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for adults” and “the modern Internet is abolishing space for children” are compatible phenomena. Neither group is being favoured: the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for adults (i.e., because grown-up topics aren’t advertiser friendly) and the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for children (i.e., because online communities which consist principally of people who have no money are hard to sell things to). The Internet that contemporary corporate interests are trying to build isn’t a space for anyone – it’s the digital equivalent of an Ikea showroom.

Like, when I say that the greater part of contemporary social media is fundamentally hostile to human life, I’m not indulging in hyperbole or constructing an ironic metaphor. I mean that 100% literally.

i do enjoy in survival-esque escape-type movies when someone gets hurt and someone else is like “i can help, don’t worry i’m a doctor.” like. they’re probably not lying, but they totally could be

just once i want the villain in the movie to be revealed as the person in the group who said they were a doctor and everyone had just taken them at their word because why the fuck would you lie about that

i can’t believe all the bad luck and injuries that have befallen our little group. good thing we have Dr. Hedical Halpractice with us

Also, cannot stress enough that Dr. Hedical Halpractice does NOT have some sort of doctorate in an unaffiliated field like a fun switcheroo, he just LOVES lying and is a HUGE asshole

love doing something I call ‘the big leaf test’ where I put my hand on a leaf and if the leaf is bigger than my hand I go damn that’s crazy

This counts as a spell