let’s get another divorce

i have a mouth and i can scream just fine

putting a polaroid of you on my unhinged conspiracy board and linking you with a red string to a post it note that just says "gay"

finally i have learned how to type laser sounds//

If you really loved me you’d learn my attack patterns and parry timings 🙄

do I weird you out or have I weirded you in?

do I weird you out or have I weirded you in?

do I weird you out or have I weirded you in?

[Doesnt do it] [gets stressed] [gets scared thinking about doing it] [doesnt do it because it's scary] [keeps not doing it]

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

If you enjoyed this book you should read every other book in the world for extra textual context. All things are intricately related to one another.