dancing in stilettos on the table top.

Hello my gays & theys, I'm now here to grace you with my presence on this site. I know, I know. You're welcome. You were probably wondering when The Addie St. James was going to show up, weren't you?

Take out the surfing and swap in the pretty girl for a pretty man and we've got a lot in common. I'm Kurt Hummel. Let me know if you want a one-of-a-kind party dress for your birthday — I've got some extra time on my hands this week.

It's August first, which means it's day one of my birthday, yeah you heard that right. I'm spending the next nine days. So as your birthday gift to me, leave your suggestions for what shit I should do for the next eight days. Maybe make a few of them family friendly, so my kid can come.

I don't know about family friendly, but I'll buy you a drink if you have a night to spare.

Wazzup PSU! It's Prof Caz back for another year of teaching the populous about ghosts and shit and hoping that if another lab accident occurs I'll get superpowers this time rather than terrifying my students with my lack of eyebrows. Also starting my rocket science PhD this year so I can make my alien detection equipment to smuggle into rockets and force those COWARDS at NASA to admit aliens exist.

I can recommend someone for tattooed eyebrows in case the inevitable happens again.

i won't lie, there is something very satisfying about telling your daughter's friends that that actor they all have crushes on - who's 20 years too old for them - is an ex of mine. i know my calling in life as a father is to embarrass my child and i do my best to live up to expectations every single day. if you have any other useful parenting tips for parents of children about to enter their teens, drop them below. useful ones only. serious parenting advice will be ignored.

Who's the ex?

Apparently I decided to get creative while drinking last night and now I have to find where all the pieces of my toaster went. Somehow, still not the strangest thing I've ever done drunk, but fuck did I make choices. And why is it always the toaster? Starting to get why da had to buy things for me to tinker with when I was younger.

What did the poor toaster do to piss you off?

i am in a mourning period as marvel rivals play test has officially ended. where else am i going to be able to go around blasting people as iron man or humming the jaws theme song as jeff the shark. truly a devastating time for me. please check back with me in 2-3 business days or send me cheesecake.

I have you covered on the cheesecake. I can recommend 6 small bakeries that will make you explode, but 2 of them are probably a 1-2 hour drive away from PSU (traffic depending). Worth it, though.

GOOD MORNING TO MY BEST FRIENDS 4-time 2024 olympic medalist simone biles, 3-time 2024 olympic medalist suni lee, 2-time 2024 olympic medalist jordan chiles, 2-time 2024 olympic medalist jade carey, and first time olympic medalist hezly rivera!!! special shoutout to my other besties rebeca andradre and kaylia nemour, gold looks SO GOOD ON THEM. quick poll, who else cried when jordan got the bronze for floor?? sorry @ romania, u were still a superstar but that routine is gonna be in my dreams for the rest of forever.

My TikTok FYP is all fan edits of the USA Gymnastics teams and I'm a better man for it. (Plus a sprinkle of memes about Yusuf Dikec.)

College enrolment: Check. Apartment move in: Check.

There's a million places that are worth a stop in LA. What's your preferred cuisine? Your favorite activities? I'll need more details to properly cater a "Welcome to LA" itinerary.

Why did no one tell me I've got a streak of black oil across my forehead? I spent half of the day downtown, after having tinkered with my bike this morning, which means everyone who's also been downtown has seen me, and not told me a damn thing - and when I got back to my bike afterwards, I found that it was still leaking oil. Today's not my day, but it can only get better from 'ere, right?

I wouldn't have told you because I like a man who gets a little dirty. Respectfully. I'm sure nobody told you because 50% of them agree with me and 50% of them didn't want to seem rude.

you know what's painful? i've already seen deadpool & wolverine twice now, and i can't come on here and talk about the movie at all because spoilers, sweetie! there's so many things i want to scream about. i actually want to scream about the whole movie. but nope! i've had to distract myself by playing video games so i don't text everyone spoilers. tonight, it's been dead by daylight. i've been cursed by going against only stealth killers, and i think i might end up having a heart attack tonight. pray for me, pls.

Who's ass looked the best? Asking for a friend.

📲 puck + kurt

📲 bree + kurt