veni • vidi • amavi

Team Uzumaki: Naruto discovers and embraces his legacy as an Uzumaki and undergoes massive changes.  He eventually goes on to take a genin team of his own. - Now Live On AO3

Shadows & Strength:  Yandere Shikamaru meets and fixates on a Naruto who stumbled upon the secret to Tsunade’s strength. Includes changed up Genin Teams and either Kakashi or Genma as sensei.

Shadows & Strength: Snake Style:   Yandere Shikamaru meets and fixates on a Naruto who stumbled upon the secret to Tsunade’s strength. Includes changed up Genin Teams and Anko as their sensei with a still loyal Orochimaru as their grand-sensei.

Fox In A Snake’s Nest:  Loyal Orochimaru comes across a young Naruto on the run from angry villagers and takes him in as a student.

HoH Naruto:  Naruto isn’t dumb no matter what anyone says.  Turns out he’s just HoH because the normal every day sounds around him are drowned out by something more.

Loophole:  Comedy.  Sarutobi decrees that none of Minato and Kushina’s friends can have direct contact/interaction with Naruto.  Kakashi finds a loophole.

Trauma Bonded:  A series of unfortunate circumstances end with a bickering Team 7 trapped in a brutal genjutsu.  As it turns out trauma has a way of bonding people.  Sometimes to an unsettling degree.  

Naruto Don’t Gender Good: Comedy. Genderfluid Naruto who is under the impression that gender is decided by hair length. - Now Live On AO3

Team Shisui: Non-Massacre AU where Shisui ends up as sensei to Team 7. Slated as KakashiNaruto fic

Flower Power: Inoichi decides to take Naruto under his wing to a degree.  With a job at the Yamanaka Flower Shop Naruto develops a friendship with Ino, gathers a lot of knowledge and blackmail material, and develops a deadly affinity for plant life.

The Fox and The Weasel: Despite being her godmother Uchiha Mikoto isn’t allowed to raise Uzumaki Naruto, the daughter of her best friend Kushina.  She’s in for a surprise when she finds out that her son Itachi has taken a liking to the girl and is determined to marry her when they’re old enough.  And he’s more than willing to go through anyone who stands in his way.

Chef Naruto:  After going hungry one too many times as a kid Naruto decides to take matters into his own hands.  He discovers that seals aren’t the only thing that come naturally to the Uzumaki.  Food, Naruto decides, is the ultimate expression of love and can, in fact, change the world.

Golden Prince of Uzushio: Naruto and Kurama are thrown back in time.  Faced with Uzumaki Mito realizing Naruto holds the Kyubi and is obviously from the future Naruto and Kurama decide to take a chance and attempt to change everything. Now known as the Golden Prince of Uzushio and splitting his time between both villages, Naruto soon discovers that despite the new peace that’s been established Uchiha Clan Head Madara seems to be around every corner he turns.

A Fox and His Earth: A young Naruto is turned over to Danzo and Root and spends years being forged into the ultimate weapon.  Then when faced with Danzo’s attempt to massacre the Uchiha Clan, Naruto turns on him and Root both.  In the aftermath Naruto, now a young but legitimate shinobi of Konoha, takes in an abandoned baby.  The first of many.  Years later Itachi comes face to face with the shinobi who, unbeknownst to him, saved his entire world

Whirlpool Calls Him Home: A young Naruto is no longer able to cope with the sharp cruelty of Konoha.  In the distance something calls for him, a voice in the back of his head begging for him to come home. To Uzushio. And so he does.

Altered Beginnings: Things shift and the future members of a young Team 7 ends up emulating different Sannin this time around.  Featuring Medic!Sasuke, Taijutsu!Sakura, and Ninjutsu!Naruto.

The Most Beautiful Man In The World lives in my building. i don’t know his name. we met on a bus, when i smiled WAY too brightly at him for strangers because, honest to god, my whole heart lit up in a way that made me think, “oh, i must know that guy!!” no. i didn’t. he’s just The Most Beautiful Man In The World.

what does The Most Beautiful Man In The World look like? i will tell you:

like the way the sun spills over water at dusk

like the way food smells when you’re hungry

like the sound angels make when they’re doing folk covers of pop songs on their heavenly harps

and also kind of like the guy who played Chad in “high school musical,” if the guy who played Chad in “high school musical” was the most beautiful man in the world.

i tell you this not only to brag that i live in the same apartment complex as The Most Beautiful Man In The World but also because i want to know WHY, if there even IS A GOD, every single time i run into The Most Beautiful Man In The World i look like a LITERAL DUMPSTER TROLL that has just CRAWLED OUT OF ITS GARBAGE HOUSE in search of FREE WIFI AND A SLURPEE. i want to know why i can never just BE COOL with The Most Beautiful Man In The World when we ride the elevator together, which is!!!! kind of often!!!!!

DID YOU GUYS KNOW that sometimes i look nice?? sometimes i actually look like a FUNCTIONING ADULT!!! sometimes i would go so far as to say i am an ATTRACTIVE INDIVIDUAL!!!!! 

you know who DOESN’T know any of that???

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, WHO LIVES IN MY BUILDING!!!

here’s a quick rundown of the last few times i ran into The Most Beautiful Man In The World:

i was wearing a maxi dress i had very cleverly biked home in, without a helmet* (*don’t try that at home, kids), in the VERY HOT AFTERNOON SUN, so i was a GROSS SWEAT MONSTER but without any OBVIOUS INDICATOR that there was a normal reason for it, and i couldn’t stand to look at him so i just glared at my phone while he probably wondered, alarmed, whether i was fleeing the scene of a crime

i was wearing a white shirt that i had not SECONDS before spilled salsa ALL OVER in a big red stain right down the front like a KINDERGARTNER

i was carrying two armfuls of ENORMOUS bags of popcorn with a three musketeers bar literally in my mouth and he overheard me say through my stuffed candy cheeks to my doorman, “oh, no, i’m not having a party, this is literally all for me”

i dropped my backpack while opening my mail and said to it, defeatedly, “why? why did you do that when i explicitly told you not to? do you like being on the floor?” 

i fell into and then off of the elevator

why??? why does this happen??? what vengeful god has orchestrated it so the ONLY TIMES i ever run into The Most Beautiful Man In The World are when i could easily be mistaken for a child’s doll that has been put through the wash by accident, or a dollar bill that has been stained by years of being in people’s sweaty palms, or a mop with eyes???

whatever. everything costs money and everyone you love disappoints you. Mop Eyes out.

Part I

 “Dearest,

You probably don’t know me and this may sound stalker-ish but I’ve noticed you’ve never really smiled. You are walking with him with your big grin that never reached your eyes. And I always wonder why you continue this? You walked pass me yesterday, you’re clinging to his arm but he does not seem to notice you, or maybe he does. Notice you that is, but he just chose to ignore you. I don’t know how he can, nor do I want to know why because whenever I look at you, looking away seems to be harder and harder everytime. 

Why do you choose to stay by his side? Why do you need to keep smiling like that when the happiness doesn’t seem to reach your eyes? Why do you feel compelled to keep that up? If you’re not happy, you don’t have to smile. You can be sad, I don’t think you acknowledge that fact. Are you afraid he’ll leave when you do?

I know I won’t. If I were him I’d never walk with you clinging on my arm, I would hold your hand and never let go. I would look into your eyes and listen to every story you have to tell. I would make you smile so that your eyes would light up like they used to. 

You know that smile? The smile that you used to have whenever you spied that wandering cat in our school building. Or when you greet the flowers in the school garden every morning. I know I’m not the only one who misses it.

Waiting,

S.N.”

Naruto gave a contented sigh. “I saw him throw it away! It was such a waste! This is so romantic!”

“So you eavesdropped,” Shino said with a deadpanned expression. 

 “Yeah, hey, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop! I was just arranging the used books on the shelves like you told me to! And then there he was reading this letter out loud like he wanted me to hear it!” Naru retorted, shoving the letter to Shino.

“So what did you do?” 

“What do you expect me to do? I listened! And it was so sweet! I can’t even imagine how lucky the girl is! It’s so romantic! He loves her! But she’s stuck with that jerk of a man which she really needs to get over and move on from. And I heard him mention something like ’She says it’s still not good enough,’  who the hell would say that to someone who just handed you his heart and soul?”Shino is amazed she said all of this in one breath. 

“And how did you really get the letter?” Naru noticed the tinge of disbelief in Shino’s voice and she bristled accordingly.

“Well, he crumpled it! And I saw him give the letter a contemptuous look as if he doesn’t give a damn about it! Maybe he’s not just good with expressing his emotions.“

Shino shook his head, “But he sounds so vulnerable in the letter.” skimming through it again.

“I know right! So when he threw it away I picked it up!”

“What do you even plan to do with it?”

“I’ll collect it.”

“That’s creepy even for you.” Shino gave the proper amount of horrified fascination, as if Naru just said she’ll horde every single letter from a stranger like a fangirl. Oh wait! That’s exactly what she said. He really need to find saner friends.

Naru feels the need to justify herself because Shino’s expression is a minute away from his I’m-calling-the-cops-if-you-do-not-stop-that-idiotic-thought expression. “I’ll collect it and once he writes the most perfect one, I’ll figure out who the girl is and hand all the others.” “You’re gonna play cupid.” Shino’s voice is the perfect mix of long-suffering tones from years of abuse from a long-time friend. 

“Not exactly what I had in mind but that would do. In fact that is exactly what I am going to do! I am going make sure they end up together.” The brightness in her eyes, which Shino prefers to call her crazy-eyes, is enough proof that Shino can’t stop this particular exploit but he will still do his best. Because Shino is a good friend and he really does not want to visit his best friend in a jail cell.

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Stop what you’re doing right now and go write 3 sentences of your story.

Every time you see this, write 3 lines.

Grumpy Harry at Lily Luna’s birthday party with lots of kids wanting her attention.