Fuck Humanity

We have the child of a mermaid queen and a regular human guy 

who was brought up in the human world as a free spirit,

who talks to sea creatures,

who is fated to take over the throne of an underwater kingdom (where all the buildings are round and mushroom-y)

which is currently being occupied by an evil, power-hungry relative

with an army of sharks

And their unique position, straddling the human world and the underwater world, is at first a burden but ends up being their greatest strength

Levi “I might be short but I’ll fuck you up” Ackerman

Also known as Levi “If you get blood on my outfit you cleaning that shit up”

Now I’m just going to come out and say this

Levi is shorter than the men I usually date

I mean I don’t think I’m that much taller than him considering I’m 5’6

You know what never mind 😐

I fucking hate my height 😫

Now if you didn’t know I’m about to tell y’all something that’s very important about short people

You are not to fuck with short people under any circumstances

Them little motherfuckers are like some gremlins

They’re closer to hell so in other words they don’t got shit to lose

All that built up anger is why they can’t grow

I mean look at Levi my nigga stayed fucking people up

We all remember that iconic scene where Levi beat the absolute shit out of poor Eren

Look at this shit

He is fucking that nigga up

And do y’all see his signature kick at the beginning

I mean at that point I would’ve just played dead

Like why is that nigga trying to reach up and stop him

You then already lost just take that L and keep it going

I just know that nigga is either dead or has a concussion after that ass beating

Y’all might hate me for saying this but before I actually started watching the show I thought Levi was the main character

I know it’s terrible but like I said it was before I watched the show

I actually just love how fucking fabulous he looks in this gif

He knows he’s a bad bitch

Levi walks like his dick is big and I’m starting to think that’s where all his height went

That’ll take a bitch by surprise right there

It’s kinda like how most people don’t expect skinny dudes to have a big dick

But then again I wouldn’t know considering I’m a child of god

Levi was like bitch don’t touch me

Y’all already know he spent all day cleaning that damn shirt

Like do you see how white that damn shirt is

That can’t be just bleach alone

You know it was hand washed too

He sliced that niggas hand fast as fuck

And he just did it so nonchalant

I need to go catch back up on Attack on Titan

I honestly never understood why people were still willing to fight Levi

I mean this is the same nigga that was fucking up giant cannibals

The fucking Titans were as tall as fucking buildings

And have y’all seen them things run 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️

Bitch I would’ve died from laughing before they got to me

Look at him that nigga turned into a spinning ball of death

If I could be in any anime I choose it damn sure wouldn’t be this bitch

Cause nine times out of ten my clumsy ass would hit a tree and die

Then it’s a chance that my body won’t make it back cause they’ll probably dump that bitch just to get away

Just like they did Petra

Imma be honest with you chief I ain’t trying to die and end up as titan shit

I would say I’d rather clean but that would be a lie

Hell I’m more likely to die from exhaustion then actually clean the room how he wants

Cause that nigga be setting some impossible standards

Knowing me I’ll probably be trying to go on patrol or hide rather than clean

But I’ll probably get caught and I’m really not trying to get fucked up by Levi

His punches and kicks look like it hurts

I’m definitely not try to lose no fucking teeth either

I feel a headache coming in just thinking about that ass whooping

I would much rather be on my hands and knees taking dick not scrubbing floors

Levi has had a fucked up life

It’s not to bad when you compare him to others that will not be named (I’m looking at you Guts)

But it’s still a life I wouldn’t wish on nobody

My nigga lost his momma

Farlan and Isabelle

His whole scouting squad

The nigga is just bad to be around

I’m slick starting to think that he’s sacrificing niggas to keep his good looks

Cause let’s be honest do we really know how old he is

I mean he gotta be in his mid thirties maybe forties and he’s still kicking ass

Levi is the only nigga I know that would stab somebody and be mad when they get blood on him

Like my nigga what did you expect was gone happen

Did you think the blood was going to stay in the body, like I need answers

It doesn’t help that he talks hella shit as he’s whooping yo ass

Like I already then lost feeling in my face and body

I do not need you talking about how disgusting my blood is right now

You can’t wait until I’m dead or maybe unconscious

I ought spit on yo damn shoes bitch

Something tells me that I’m going to have to start making different parts for these because of the damn ten picture limit

But I think y’all got the gist of it for now

The question though is would I let him fuck

And the answer to that silly question is…….. HELL YEA

Why the fuck wouldn’t I

Y’all thought just cause he short he can’t the pussy

Shiddd ain’t no height limit bitch

But there is an age requirement I should probably just throw that out there

Now that I think about I really shouldn’t have to say that, but hey you never know

The only problem that might come in is if he’s like the dude from Fifty shades of grey

Now I’m into some freaky shit but I ain’t that damn freaky

Me: 👏👏

also me:

Also me: