Sometimes I do stuff.

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

It's okay to end your novel with the murderer getting a hot girlfriend.

I know this is meant to be funny but it actually makes such a good point about how ADHD and executive dysfunction can impact people in really major ways, including financially

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

Women are like diamonds since they are composed primarily of carbon.

All of this and also “Enemy” by Imagine Dragons

Do you think Vampires enjoy wearing and painting with toxic pigments?

This implies that vampires knew the arsenic green was toxic and just didn't tell the humans, and honestly I'm so here for it

Actually no, this vampire lived in 1967 and got his dress by stealing from a museum.

He wanted to see how far his immortality would take him