i live so i love

there's no way Professor McGonagall hasn't beat the shi out of Mrs. Norris when she was in her animagus form

my traumatized ass: do I have a crush or am I just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me

FUCK

Despite the fact that I occasionally compulsively overshare, people somehow still manage to know nothing about me

Can’t believe I’m just so cool and sexy and it’s all because I’m bisexual

two different groups of people think this is an exchange between some random and an icon

reblogging again bc i just realised that this farah person is significant in some way and i spent ages trying to understand 

only 2015s kids remember thebootydiaries

Sometimes it feels like I can still see her posts.

Me: *starts crying* Me to myself: omg here go your lil crybaby ass…

i mean we could talk about how lilith was a badass who’d rather be a demon than be subservient to a man or we could talk about the allegory here where a woman who demands agency is LITERALLY demonized… or the reality that this story means that the first man in the bible (or the first man ever, if you subscribe to that) was a rapist! great start, boys

this is so important. 

I wonder how different shit would be if Adam attempting to rape Lilith was the “original sin” instead of Eve eating the apple. 

That last comment hit me hard…

Sometimes… demons… are better

noo dont take care of me its rotten work aha

noo not to me you’re so sexy aha

if my girlfriend was talking enthusastically about an interest that we did not share, i would simply listen with excited interest.  rip to straight men but im different

me trying to sound employable: i love effort.... and doing things. i love trying. working is the best. i love it when its hard, and bad

the concept of peer review is bonkers tbh. you think jake knows what’s happening in this class enough to tell me if i wrote my paper correctly? JAKE?????

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.

This is my favorite version of this thread now