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Harry: “you’re so funny” thanks I was a child soldier

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Hermione: why are threesomes only for sex

Hermione: why can’t I join in on a couples argument if I want to

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Ron: I wonder when the Bermuda triangle stopped working

Ron: not a lot of drama going on there anymore

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Hermione: I think I’m bi

Harry: which one?

Hermione: what do you mean?

Harry: bisexual? bilingual? bipolar?

Ron: I know

Ron: a bitch

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Hermione: just swallowed my pride and told my professor that if he doesn’t raise my grade I’ll go to his office and chain myself to the radiator

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Hermione: we should bring back TBH’s because some of y’all need to hear about yourselves

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*Harry and Ron arguing*

Ron: imagine waking up and the first thing you have to grab is a pair of glasses

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Ron: Being my moms funniest kid is very tough

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Hermione: what are you guys doing?

Harry & Ron: crying so the girls leave the great hall and then we can have more room to play army

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Ron: sorry I can’t flirt with you

Ron: this girl who won’t go out with me will get mad

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Harry: Goldilocks was so stupid for not wanting to sleep in a bed too big for her

Harry: “oh noooo I’m too comfy!!!” Like shut up

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