Spiderlily

You were miserable at your sister’s— Nova’s— bachelorette party, you had just had an explosive break up with your now ex-boyfriend— Maurkis— just a week prior because you found him in bed with not just your other sister— Carrie— but your supposed best friend— Hana. At the same time. Not to mention, seeing your soon-to-be-married sister all but grinding against one of the sparkly, barely dressed men in the club didn’t sit right with you right now, but you figured as long as the only touching going on was over the clothes and mouths stayed away from each other, it wasn’t your business since you knew, even though she messes around—almost like a game of chicken she has no intention of going through with— she’s fiercely loyal to her loved ones. So there, you leaned against the glass balcony barrier, letting the cold air keep you completely sober between sips of your singular alcoholic beverage for the night, picking at and trailing your fingers along the smooth petals of the flowers wrapped around the metal bar you leaned on.

“Not having fun with your friends?” A deep, alluring voice sounded from beside you, surprising you as you’d been alone from the moment you got out there.

“Not really. My sister’s bachelorette party, but I’m not exactly in the moon to be celebrating love, especially since the guy she’s currently grinding on isn’t her fiancé.” You shrugged with a bitter laugh.

“I get that. My brother’s bachelor party is actually going on in there, too. In fact, I think he’s the one your sister is grinding on.” He laughed with a wry smirk on his face. You laughed at the parallel and nodded along.

“I just got cheated on by my ex with our other sister— who was thankfully VERY uninvited— and my quote-unquote best friend. You?” You asked, though you made sure with your tone and eyes he didn’t have to answer.

“Nothing physical— supposedly— but my ex left me for her pottery instructor. Pretty sure he Patrick Swayze’d her.” He joked, a bitter laugh huffed from folded in lips.

“Well aren’t we a pair.” You huffed, looking out into the night, seeing all the twinkling lights of the city below.

“Yea.” He chuckled, a real one, “Neither of us is having much fun, huh?” His tone was filled with bitter amusement, though before you could answer, he continued, “What do you say we get out of here? Tonight’s a celebration, but we’re not even having a good time. Why don’t we change that and make our own fun?” He proposed, though when it looked like you were contemplating if you should refuse what seemed like a sexual offer, he rushed to clarify, “I know a really great Gyro stand nearby! And an art gallery that’s only open at night with actually interesting pieces, not just a woman posing uncomfortably in 5 different color pallets. All the hole in the wall joints, an arcade for adults with the fun stuff like air hockey and ski ball.” He offered, a beseeching look in his eye. With his enthusiasm and cute desperation for you not to think he only wanted your body, you couldn’t deny him.

He took you to get Gyros, then to see the actually good art pieces and sculptures— he was right, though some were funny like the banana duct taped to the wall— then to a record store through an actual hole in a brick wall, a plastic sliding door the only barrier from the outside elements, into a space that was clearly an abandoned storage room before they arrived. He played you one of his favorite records in the shop in one of the listening booths, it was ethereal, like you’d stepped into a different world, the cover had a beautiful flower stylized to look open and inviting, like you could reach into the picture and touch it. You were still hungry and he wanted to make sure you were completely sober even though you told him you only had half a drink the whole night so he took you to a ramen place through another literal hole in the wall but this one seemed to be intentional and deliberate in style with real doors attached to the inside with flowers painted along the edges, the vines and leaves painted onto the brick outside it. A music store with instruments you could actually play, he taught you to play 3 notes on a bass but you couldn’t get the grasp right so those 3 took half an hour, and because you two stopped to laugh several times. A small comedy club that had the same layout as an open mic night at a café with tall circular tables made to hold 2, maybe 3, with a single flower in the centre of each, and a bunch of crowd work that had you in stitches. Then he finally took you to the promised arcade where you two got way too into a game of air hockey, with you whooping his butt, though he technically beat you at ski ball, only because he cheated and tossed it directly into the centre hole!

You and he were having the most amazing night together, both completely forgetting your woes and even the circumstances that led you to meet. You had such amazing chemistry and you couldn’t help but to feel a connection more electric than any of your past long term boyfriends. It seems he felt it, too, because before long, he had eagerly followed you when you dragged him to your hotel room, not even waiting for the elevator to leave the first floor before he had pressed you against the cold metal wall with his lips aggressively attached to yours. His tie was undone and barely staying draped around his neck and your dress was fully unzipped with your heels grasped in your hand behind his back that was only half covered by his jacket by the time you got to your room. Your heels and dress hit the ground next to his jacket and tie before the door even fully closed.

By the morning, you woke up in his grasp and it was the most amazing experience you’d had to date, the feeling of waking up in his arms felt so cosmically right that you never wanted it to end. But, of course, you were still sweaty and covered in a mixture of his and your cum between your thighs that you desperately needed a shower. You felt him wake when you shifted and he greeted you with the most beautiful half-awake smile you’d ever seen.

“Morning.” He hummed and if you thought his voice when uttering the most debauched things last night was amazing, this was even better. If you weren’t worn out and sore, you’re sure you would have a lake between your thighs.

“Morning.” You greeted back after a minute of just staring at him with stars and hearts in your eyes. You leaned in, half worried that he might push you away, and kissed him Good Morning, though your worries were unfounded as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you in, his other hand planted on your waist while his thumb drew slow shapes on your side. The fact that he kept his hands respectful while you kissed him completely naked made your heart flutter like a school girl talking to her crush. Upon pulling away, you stayed close and gazed at his face, at his eyes, his lips, his nose, his cheekbones, his chin, his jaw, his hair, the freckles that you hadn’t noticed before. It seemed he was studying you just the same and he liked what he saw as he smiled softly, the sight enough to make you mirror it. You shifted when the pull on your side from being twisted for so long started to get uncomfortable and felt the dried and sticky mess between your legs and winced.

“As much as I would love to stay in bed with you all day, I need a shower. It’s my own fault for not letting you up when you wanted to get the cloth, I know.” You chuckled when he raised a knowing brow at your initial statement. With an amused smile, he leaned in and gave you a shorter kiss before letting you up.

“I’ll take one after and then we can talk some more.” He promised, dragging his fingers soothingly against your side, “I really like talking to you…” He confessed sweetly and the flutter in his chest was only made worse. Before he could accidentally convince you to crawl right back into bed and ignore the mess making your thighs stick uncomfortably to each other, you stood and quickly promised you’d be back with a blush across your face. He laughed lightly at that and laid back down to wait for you.

Unfortunately, though, when you came back out he was gone. Before you could be angry in tandem to your heartbreak, you noticed the note stuck to the mirror.

‘I am so so sorry, my brother called and apparently one of the guys’ wife just went into early labor(REALLY early) so we’re getting an earlier flight home and I needed to get back and get my stuff ready to book it to the airport. I had so much fun with you and I wish I could stay longer and talk like I said. Call me and we can get together again!’

The note was hastily scrawled and it only got harder to read as you read on but it was just legible enough until the very bottom. That’s where the problem was the worst.

You could not read the number whatsoever. The numbers were worse than any of it, they overlapped and were written in such a rush that the pen pierced the paper at one point. Below that was something else, even more hastily and with so much urgency you couldn’t tell what it was supposed to be. You think there was a C somewhere, or maybe that was a K, or an H? Was it some kind of sign off? Like Sayonara?

It only occurred to you when you were packing it into your carryon that you realized,

You never got his name.

As he was boarding the plane and and enduring his brother’s teasing at where he disappeared to that he realized,

He never got your name.

Shit.

Weeks later when you’d been sick for a week straight, you thought you picked something up from the bachelorette party, or even that this was grief-induced illness, you’d gone to the doctor to make sure it wasn’t anything bad. They couldn’t find any obvious symptoms of a specific illness so they took blood and sent you home with some basic nausea medicine to help manage it as best you can. They called you back a couple days later when your bloodwork came back and delivered the news.

“Your labs show that you test positive for pregnancy, but we’d like to do an ultrasound to make sure that it’s not a false positive or something else causing the hormone secretion given your current sexual activity and your reported stress.” Your doctor delivered professionally, though the result made your eyes bug out of your head. In shock, you numbly nodded and went through the motions in a daze until you were propped on the table with your shirt pushed up, your leggings bunched down, and cold gel on your belly that woke you from your trance. When the wand made contact, your head snapped to the screen while she wandered until she pointed to a white blob on the black and white screen.

“There’s your baby, it looks like you’re about 5 weeks along.” She showed you and explained all the technical and biological and medical stuff but you weren’t listening, only focussed on the little life inside you. It seems she could tell you weren’t listening because she gave you a pamphlet and packet with all of the information she said that you didn’t hear and a pamphlet for all of your options.

When you got home, you sat still and silent on your couch for what had to be hours, just processing. It was only the sharp trill of your phone that broke you out of it. You answered and your sister was checking up on you, asking if you got any answers about why you’d been so sick, asking if you were okay and if you needed anything. For a moment you were silent, though it was enough for her to worry.

“Hey? You oka-?”

“I’m pregnant.” You said softly.

“You’re what?” She either didn’t hear you or didn’t believe you.

“I’m pregnant… 5 weeks.” You said louder, still in shock.

“5 weeks? But that’s-? Oh my gods!! When you snuck off!! You-!! Oh my gods!!!” She started freaking out for and about you and her reaction helped to bring you back to yourself.

She became one of your biggest supports, her and her new husband offering for you to stay at their place with their live-in housekeeper— who was the sweetest woman ever, as well as a trained midwife— while they were away on their honeymoon. You told your mother— tentatively— and she freaked out as well, though it was less of a good freakout than your sister since you’re single and she immediately assumed it was your ex’s— your ex that’s now publicly dating the sister he cheated on you with— and worried it would mess with their relationship (ironic and exactly why this was tentative and now regrettable) so you hung up on her. Your other sister (the betrayer) found out and started harassing you online, calling you a skank(HA!) and claiming you were trying to trap Maurkis(you couldn’t have left him fast enough, the only reason it was dragged out is because he was trying to get you back, while still blatantly seeing Carie and “best friend” Hana, and calling you dramatic, that you were overreacting) and that you were vindictive (as if you actually chose to have your egg fertilized). Maurkis found out and started DMing you, assuming that it was his and claiming that you should get back together, for the baby, that he’d step up, that he’d leave your sister(HAHA!) and that he’d take care of you two.

You blocked them both and ended up needing to move because they wouldn’t stop harassing you both online (Maurkis making new profiles to DM you and Carrie making a smear campaign, especially when you sent screenshots of Maurkis DMing you) and in person (your ex showing up at your door with flowers— not even your favorite which he never remembered— and trying to get you back, even after you told him it’s not his, and your sister throwing eggs and rocks at your house and spray painting your car) so you got a transfer to another branch of your company and settled down there while your pregnancy progressed.

Before long, though many of those months were nearly excruciating, especially alone, your daughter arrived. She looked so much like him, the man you couldn’t forget, now even moreso, and you couldn’t be happier. You know at least one of the nurses was judging you for leaving the Father line blank on her birth certificate, but you didn’t care.

Amaryllis was here and that was all that mattered.

Amaryllis, “New and Sparkling” and the flowers that decorated the balcony you met her father on, in the art gallery he took you to, was on the cover of the album he played for you, painted on the door of the Ramen shop, one small one painted in the corner of the bass he tried to teach you to play, a single flower in a small vase in each table in the comedy club. Amaryllis, the name of the arcade he took you to, where you truly fell in love with his let-loose side. The flowers that decorated scattered parts of the hotel you stayed in. The scent of the body wash you used in the shower while he scribbled his note and left.

As she grew, you loved her more and more, you laughed when she laughed, you teared up when she cried, you held her as she clung to you in sleep, you protected her and loved her and imagined what life would be like if her father were here, too. When she was old enough to be left with a babysitter(when you finally got over your separation anxiety and was able to accept when Nova came over to care for her while you rested/went out), you started going on occasional dates but they all failed because you would compare them to him. The unnamed man who you loved more than you should have in one night, who gave you your beautiful daughter, who still haunted your dreams in fanciful images of a happy family of 3.

You just barely managed to dodge the matchmaking attempts of your best friend at work, though Amaryllis was a very good, and valid, excuse to escape it. Nova— your dear amazing sister who kept you afloat in your darkest moments— told you you needed to move on, that it wasn’t healthy or helping that you still kept that note in your bedside table. But you couldn’t help but hope that if you held onto it, it might act as a compass and lead you back to him.

And maybe you were right.

You went home for Christmas and brought Amaryllis with you. She was finally able to fly without getting such bad anxiety that you had to give her sleepy medicine that only worked for tiny increments as it seemed as if her anxiety burned through it more quickly, but it was still in her system so you couldn’t give her more for risk of an overdose. And that was just 1 flight to meet her uncle— Kevin— who had just gotten back from deployment— you ended up taking trains and busses the whole way back.

She was finally meeting her grandparents since they couldn’t fly for a laundry list of reasons. Kevin, who you had helped via recommendation to get a job at a branch in your company, said he was bringing his boss since they had become very good friends and he was having family problems so he wouldn’t be going home this year. You were excited to meet another higher up from your company and one that became such good friends with your brother, who was notoriously picky with his friends.

You arrived early so that your parents could have grandparent time with Amaryllis before they would be distracted with the festivities— or be distracted from the festivities by her— and you could help set up since you knew your father would try to do it all himself even though he’s too old to be up on a ladder. Once you were set up in your old bedroom and had helped to set everything up, including some of the cooking, and the others were due to arrive in less than 20 minutes, your mother casually dropped the bomb that she had invited Carrie and she was bringing Maurkis. Your father dropped the measuring spoon he was using and looked at her like she was insane, so it was a relief that at least your dad was on your side and saw how crazy and fucked up that was.

“Maria! What is wrong with you?!” He yelled across the kitchen while you rushed off to distract Amaryllis from the impending fight.

“She’s our daughter too, Wyatt!” Your mother yelled back in a tone that you know means she’s made this argument before.

“So is the woman right here with our— so far— only grandchild who needed you to be on her side when that girl hurt her in the most despicable and disgusting way!” Your dad defended and you couldn’t help but feel the swell in your chest of love for him, he truly is an amazing man and father and you’re so glad he taught you not to settle for anything less than you deserve.

“It was one mistake!”

“One mistake that she’s still dating and bringing around like they didn’t betray our babygirl!”

“You’re choosing one daughter over the other!” Your mother accused and it took everything in you not to release your hands from over Amaryllis’ ears and march in there to call her out on her hypocrisy, but luckily it seems you didn’t have to.

“So are you! At least I’m not defending the one who almost destroyed this family! You are the only one who thinks what she did was acceptable. The only one! Think about what that means, Maria! Think about what she did, really think, and try to figure out why you are the only one who thinks that was okay! You should never think that that is okay, in any situation! Much less when it directly hurts one of our children!! No! Do not start! Do not try and claim that that girl is anything but the cause of this!! She is not a victim and the only reason she acts like it is because you let her! You make her think what she did was okay, you make her think she can get away with it, you make her think she can act like the victim! Don’t try and call it a mistake! A mistake is spilling milk, a mistake is dropping a fork, a mistake is NOT FUCKING HER SISTER’S BOYFRIEND!!” Your father screamed and you were suddenly very thankful for when you put padding on the bottom of the door and soundproof panels around your room. From the passion in his voice, it sounds like this is all stuff he’d been holding back but finally let out. You hummed the tune of the song from the record with the Amaryllis on the cover to help block out more sound as you rocked back and forth to make sure your baby didn’t know anything bad was happening.

“If you think cheating is okay for any reason, then I think you and I need to have a serious conversation about this marriage going forward.” Your father panted from his outburst and your mother was completely silent for a long time.

“She’s our daughter too.” Your mother weakly muttered, sounding like she was choking up, though her tone was far less confident than it once was, almost like she’s grasping at the argument, like she’s trying to hold onto the reason behind it, like she’s trying to still believe it herself. You know your mother, she’s prideful to a fault, so if she’s put this much dedication into this belief, this argument, she doesn’t want to let it go because then that would mean not only was she wrong but if she put to much effort into this then it would have been for nothing, then would have been so wrong that she practically lost 3 of her kids for nothing.

“So is the woman currently hiding her daughter in her room, right here in this house, and protecting her from all of this.” He said more quietly but no less firm. He’s done yelling but he’s not done with this argument. He’s not done protecting you. You heard hurried shuffling past your door and the shameful closing of your parents’ door and you knew your mom was probably hiding away and crying in her shame. Slower and more confident steps came and stopped in front of your door and your dad’s special knock sounded, he had one with all of his kids and it always made your chest warm.

“Come in.” You said as you released Amaryllis’ ears, though she was half asleep against your chest.

“Sorry about that, sweetie.” He addressed you both and smiled softly when he saw his granddaughter dozing off.

“It’s okay. Thank you. For defending me.” You gave a small smile, genuine but weighed down by the fact he had to defend you at all.

“You’re my daughter, of course, I’d defend you.” He said kind but firmly, moving a hand to pet your hair back like he always did when you were upset.

“So is she.” You half joked.

“No.” He said, his voice equal parts firm and distant, when you raised a brow he continued, “Anyone who can betray their family like that, so easily, I don’t consider family. As long as she parades that boy around with no remorse, I don’t consider her my daughter.” The sentiment made tears prick your eyes and when he saw this, he leaned forward and wrapped both you and your daughter in a warm hug.

“Mmm, hi Gappa..” Your daughter mumbled when she woke a bit from the hug. You both laughed and he ruffled her hair a little.

“Hi, Little Seed.” He cooed and when you laughed at the name, the shaking woke her up more and she suddenly got excited.

“Attie an’ Unnie an’ Unkie here?” She bounced in your lap and you and your dad both cooed at the names she had assigned Nova, her husband, and Kevin.

“Almost, Mari.” You kissed her forehead but before she could jump out of your lap, you twisted her around so she could sit sideways and look at you. “Mumma just found out that more people are coming, okay? But there’s 2 people,” you held up two fingers to remind her how much 2 was, “that I want you to stay away from.” She pouted at first but when she saw your serious face she nodded seriously as if you’d given her a crucial mission. “One lady might try to tell you that she’s your Auntie, but you know your Attie, yea?” She nodded vigorously and you chuckled before reaching out to still her bobbling head, “And there’s a man with her, they were both really mean to Mumma. If that man ever tries to say he’s your Daddy, you tell him ‘No you’re not!’ and come tell Mumma, okay?” When you essentially just gave her permission to yell at someone, her eyes lit up like fireworks and she nodded excitedly. “Good! And Unkie is bringing a friend, so be nice to him okay?” You smiled at her and she returned it tenfold.

“Okie!” She cheered and bolted from your lap the second there was a knock at the door. You and your dad looked between each other and laughed before following her. She wasn’t quite tall enough to have a firm grasp on the doorknob to turn it but she sure as shit was trying. You laughed before going to help her.

“Hey, come on in!” You cheered when you saw Nova and Victor, her husband. They hugged you and Victor scooped up Amaryllis when she collided with his legs for a hug. He laughed and squeezed her in a tight hug with their cheeks squished together. He and your dad shook hands happily after Nova nearly crushed him in a hug and then turned to shower Mari with affection. They shed their outside clothes— coats and boots and hats and gloves and scarves— and headed to the warm sitting room and let Mari help them put presents under the tree while you went to the kitchen to start making hot cocoa— a dash of “adult juice” in Nova, Victor, and dad’s— and hummed the Amaryllis song— as your darling sister had taken to calling it— a when you heard another knock. You trusted your dad or sister to handle it, assuming it was your brother and his friend-boss. However, the mood changed very quickly when all the talking stopped. Even the music seemed to turn down in respect for the oppressive silence.

“You guys good? What’s going-?” You stopped in your tracks and your grip on the tray of hot cocoa got so tight the tray shook. You just managed to set it down before it became a waste of good cocoa and booze. Stood in the doorway was Carrie and Maurkis. Carrie with a smug grin as she clung to the man who only looked at you, looking you up and down like you were some pinup model.

“We were invited, how exciting! Now I get to meet my precious little niece.” Her shrill voice tightened when she spoke of Mari and you had to physically grip your fist behind your back to prevent yourself from punching her in front of your daughter.

“Right.” Your dad said tightly, he looked at you, silently telling you it was your call. It took a minute but you didn’t want her making a scene in front of Amaryllis or Kevin’s friend-boss since they’d likely be arriving soon. You closed your eyes to calm yourself and slowly nodded at him. When you opened your eyes, you saw the skeptical shock in his eyes but with a single raise of your brows, he understood. He stepped aside and let them in, though obviously reluctant. The atmosphere was tense but to distract yourself, you started to hand out the cocoa before going back to the kitchen with your own to make some for the newcomers.

“Good to see you, sis. Annalie still doesn’t have a father?” The snake, herself, leaned against the doorframe and asked to goad you. But luckily you knew her tricks and you gained even more patience with raising a toddler alone.

“Her name is Amaryllis. And I’m doing just fine, men are far from a necessity.” You spoke calmly, though cast a glance in the direction of the sitting room through the wall with the last comment, knowing she’d take the bait since she hates when you show that you don’t need or want the man she stole from you.

“Ha! Please, that’s just something people who can’t get a man say.” She huffed, trying to sound condescending but the extra bite in her tone betrays her easily.

“Oh, I can get men. I’ve been on plenty of dates, the only reason I don’t stick with one is because they’re all way below my standards. Besides. I don't need a man for validation.” You hummed, unbothered and turned back around to make their cocoa. You purposely use water to make theirs and don’t stir it quite enough, just enough they won’t know until they take a sip, and put more than a small dash in hers because you know she hates liquor with a passion and put a dash of the super cheap stuff your dad had gotten as a gag gift on his birthday into Maurkis’ because you know it tastes foul.

With a calm smile, you put yours and their mugs on a tray and walk past her into the sitting room. She sits down with a huff, clearly wanting everyone to know she’s pouting because she wants someone to acknowledge it, but even her own man doesn’t mention it because he couldn’t take his eyes off you. You purposefully lean down just a bit too low when you set down the tray and grab theirs and lean far enough over the coffee table that a bit more of your cleavage was showing to catch his attention. You didn’t necessarily want his attention on you, after everything it just feels creepy, but you know it bothers Carrie and you want to tease him just a bit before you harshly remind him that you’re not his anymore and you never will be again. If Kevin’s friend-boss is cute enough, you might even flirt with him for the dual purpose of flirting with a cute guy and messing with Maurkis.

Almost as if on cue, the knock sounded and you happily stood up, about to get the door, but Nova beat you to it into the hall so you figured you’d head into the kitchen and make more cocoa and grab a cookie for Amaryllis since she was gnawing on the rubber straw of her hot(warm) cocoa which you knew meant she’s getting hungry.

You heard your brother and sister cheering at each other and the sounds of him picking her up in a hug. You laughed and apparently it was at the same time as your visitor because you heard a deeper voice mirroring your chuckle. It was a bit familiar but you couldn’t place it so you just assumed you’d come across him before at a conference. You made the cocoa and stuck the flask you’d been using to dash the drinks with “adult juice” into your pocket so you could let the visitor decide if he wanted any and how much, as well as to hide it from Mari.

“Carrying a tray of hot liquid, Kev!” You shouted to make sure he didn’t try to tackle you with a hug while you carried their drinks.

“Dang! My plans have been foiled!!” He called dramatically enough that you knew he was holding Mari. You smiled at his antics and watched the tray and your path exclusively while you hummed the Amaryllis Song since it helped with your concentration— possibly a placebo or accidental self-conditioning but it works— and made it to the coffee table.

“Mari! C’mere, Mumma has a cookie for you!” You called back to the entry way since you didn’t know how close they were yet.

“Here, Mumma!” She called from the couch right next to you.

“Oh! Perfect.” You smiled and turned to give her the cookie when you noticed a new presence sat on the other end of the couch from her. Once you handed it over to the grabby hands, you started to turn and was about to greet the newcomer, though before you could get a real glance at him, Kevin scooped you into a giant hug. You squeaked at the sudden grab but laughed with him and squeezed him back as hard as you could.

“There’s my baby sister!!” He cheered as he shook your suspended body still squished to his.

“Put me down you lunatic!” You laughed out, one hand shooting down to make sure your dress stayed down.

“Never! If you don’t got a man to protect you, it falls to your big brother! The best way to keep you safe is to never let you get into danger in the first place!” He cheered while you cackled at his antics.

“You jumped onto a landmine that you didn’t even know was a dud, you have no right to say you’ll keep me out of danger!” You playfully accused before you jabbed your fingers into the side of his neck to tickle him since it was a sure fire way to get him to let you down. Sure enough, he let out a sound that was as close to a squeal as a man with a voice that deep could make and set you down before backing away like you were dangerous and frantically rubbed the side of his neck.

“You play dirty!” He tried to accuse, eyes narrowed but the smile twitching at his lips and the laugh that shook his words betrayed him. As you caught your breath with a grin, you started turning to your guest.

“Sorry about that, it’s nice to-“ The words died in your throat as you saw the man who sat on your parents’ couch staring at you like he’d seen a ghost. And you looked at him just the same way.

“What are… How…” His words were muttered and jumbled but it was the same voice you could never get out of your head.

“You’re…” You breathed out, in the same shocked state. He slowly stood and his one foot shuffled forward but never took the step, almost like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to come closer. Deciding for him, you rushed forward and hugged him so tightly, as if you were afraid he’d disappear again, which truthfully, you were. His arms wrapped around you and you were reminded of the morning after, the morning he left.

“Uhm..?” Nova started and it reminded you that your family was there, too. You pulled away, stared at him to make sure it was real before turning to your audience.

“As you can see, there’s some history. We need to talk about it, so we’ll be in my room, Nova, please keep Bud occupied. I love you all, we’ll be back.” With that concise speech, you didn’t wait for responses before tugging the man into your old bedroom.

“What-?!” Your sister shouted after you, but before she could finish, you slammed the door.

“You’re here.” You huffed, out of breath from holding it the whole time you dragged him.

“I.. I am, and so are you.” He sounded like he was still in shock, though the shock wore off the moment you rushed forward and kissed him. He kissed back immediately, but after a moment, he pulled back like you burned him. “Wait. Wait wait wait.” He rushed, and that seemed to remind you that it had been years since you saw him and life goes on.

“Shit! I’m so sorry, I completely forgot to ask if you were with someone now, or even if you’re still interested! Fuck, I’m so sorry!” You shouted into your hands as you buried your face.

“No, no no that’s not it. I’m not, I’m still single, I actually have been this whole time.” He confessed and you slowly lifted your head. “I’ve stayed single because I can’t get you out of my mind..” His words were softer, like he felt awkward as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Really..? But then.. What’s.. What’s the problem?” You asked, terrified that he wasn’t going to say he didn’t want kids, that even if he loved you, Amaryllis is a deal breaker.

“Are you actually still interested?” He asked, not quite like a clarifier but more like an almost-accusation.

“What? Of course I am! I’m the one who just rushed in and kissed you!”

“I mean, yea, but you never called…” He said it like it held all his insecurities and it was like a lightbulb realization. You huffed a laugh and his brows furrowed as if he was offended, which he might have been since from his perspective you’re laughing at him.

“I’m not laughing at you! I promise! It’s just… That’s the exact conundrum that’s been plaguing me since that morning.” You huffed, but he was even more confused now.

“But.. I left you my number..?” And he watched in utter confusion as you moved around him to your bag.

“I am so glad that I trusted my gut when packing.” You muttered and stood up to reveal the very note he left.

“You still have it?!” He laughed in astonishment as he immediately recognized the hotel logo.

“I do! This is one of the only 2 physical things I had left from you.” You smiled shyly, “But here, read it again.” You handed it over and he raised a brow but took it anyways.

“I remember exactly what I wrote, but okay.” He chuckled but looked down and froze. His brows furrowing more as he looked at the messy scrawl, the quick, slanted letters, the jumbled up words, then finally to his number, how all the numbers overlapped and brushed his finger on the backside of the paper where the pen tore through.

“Holy shit. How did I not notice how bad it was..?” He muttered to himself and wordlessly, almost instinctively, took you into his arm as you leaned into his side.

“I was so close to draining my savings to go to a handwriting specialist.” You chuckled before popping up onto your toes and pointing at the very bottom of the page. “And I wanted to ask, what’s this supposed to say?” You looked up at him and he looked at you with a devastating understanding. He had thought this whole time that that night meant way more to him than it did to you, that maybe he misunderstood your signals, but it turns out you wanted him this entire time, but you had no clue how to contact him.

“Caleb.” He smiled sadly at you.

“Caleb..? Wait-! Is that your name?!” You asked excitedly, a smiled brightening your entire face.

“Yea, it is,” he laughed with a grin of his own, “Gods, we did all that, had a magical night, had a perfect ending to the night,” his grin became salacious before he laughed again when you lightly smacked his chest, “and woke up how I wanted to for the rest of my life…” He sighed happily as he looked into your eyes, “and we didn’t even get each other’s name.” He chuckled, half sad and half amused.

“Wait- each other’s-? Oh my Gods I never told you my name!” You shouted as if it was the first time in 3 1/2 years that you’d realized it. He laughed heartily and hugged you to his chest as you buried your face there in mortification. “I’m so sorry!” You cried into his chest.

“Hey, I’m guilty of the same thing, don’t worry.” He soothed as he slowly walked you two to your bed and sat down on it before hoisting you into his lap to comfort you better. You muttered something he couldn’t understand since it was so muffled in his shirt, “What’s that, baby?” He asked gently, instinctively calling you a pet name just like that night.

“My name.” You pulled back and said shyly, repeating your name to him. He tested it on his tongue and smiled down at you, saying your name as if it was the most precious word he knew.

“Nice to finally meet you.” You smiled up at him and leaned against his shoulder.

“Nice to meet you too, Caleb. Gods, we did this completely backwards.” You chuckled. He laughed too and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“True.” With a content sigh, he held you close.

“Most people meet, give their names, go on a few dates, then get to the fucking, then a whole relationship before engagement and marriage and then have kids. We did it backwards and out of order.” You laughed, “I mean we met, you basically took me on a date, we fucked, you had to leave, we had a kid, and 3 years later we’re finally getting each other’s names.” You said it almost casually as you snuggled into him. He huffed a laugh at first before he stopped, completely frozen, then looked down at you as if you had just told him something so complicated and profound that even the great philosophers wouldn’t be able to wrap their heads around it.

“We.. have a kid..?” He asked, slowly in case he misheard.

“Yea. Did you.. Wait. Did you seriously not notice your mini clone out there?” You asked, no upset or accusing, more genuine astonishment and a bit of panicked wondering.

“That’s.. out there… I mean, I kind of figured she was yours but.. I never thought… She’s mine?” His voice was hopeful in a way that soothed every worry you had that he wouldn’t want her, it put your mind at ease and all the tension left your shoulders at once.

“Yea-“

“NO YOU’RE NOT!!” A booming high pitched voice sounded throughout the house before, barely 2 seconds later, there’s banging on your door from a tiny fist. “MUMMA!!!” Your dutiful daughter who gets way too much joy out of being able to yell at people. You dropped your head to Caleb’s shoulder and started laughing. He lightly chuckled, completely overtaken with confusion, as he looked between you and the door. You wriggled out of his grasp and, still shaking with laughter the whole time, opened the door and your daughter, who he now does notice looked eerily like him, ran in and pointed an accusatory finger toward the sitting room.

“Crazy Lady Creepy Friend say he daddy!!” She shouted as if she was expecting praise for reporting to you. Knowing your daughter, she likely was. You had to bite your lip and grip the door so hard Caleb thought it might splinter to keep from laughing. You’re not even sure where she learned to call them that but you’re not mad. She doesn’t even know what it means, so you’re assuming it was Nova or Kevin.

“Good job, Mari, thank you. You’re a good girl, kay?” You knelt down and she rushed forward to hug you which you easily returned, petting her hair the way she likes, “You’re right, he’s not your daddy. Know why?” She tilted her head at you questioningly, “Because he doesn’t know how to do the special hug that gives mummas the very best baby in the whole wide world,” you cooed and scooped her up into a tight hug and kissed all over her face as she shrieked with laughter, “and there’s another reason.” You said more seriously when you set her down. You looked at Caleb, silently asking if he wanted this, and without hesitation he nodded firmly, with a nod back to him, you turned back to Amaryllis, “Because your real daddy came home,” before you could properly tell her it was the man sitting on your bed, she jumped up with wide eyes.

“Daddy home?!” She shrieked with joy and you loved how happy she was, but you partly wish you had at least closed the door for that part because her shriek summoned your entire family, including your mother who you’re fairly certain had fallen asleep while crying and just woke up.

“Her daddy?!” Nova asked, completely in shock.

“And now we have an audience, okay. Hello, family, and,” you paused to cover Amaryllis’ ears, “Creepy Manwhore.” Maurkis looked like he wanted to protest but Victor and Kevin beside him laughed and silently reminded him how much bigger and stronger they are. “Yes. Amaryllis’ father is back.”

“Wait, her name is Amaryllis?” Caleb asked, awe clear in his voice. You turned and smiled at him with a loving look in your eye.

“Yea, like the flower that kept on popping up that night.” He grinned like he’d just won first place and it warmed your heart even more. With a glare at the audience at the door that silently conveyed that they stayed quiet or you’d either kick them all out or you’d take your daughter and her father and leave. “Amaryllis, baby.” You cooed down to your daughter to return her focus as you picked her up and walked to your bed to sit beside Caleb, “This is your daddy. Caleb,” You smiled at him, saying his name like it was your new favorite word(it kind of was), “this is Amaryllis, your daughter.” He smiled with tears in his eyes down at his daughter as she looked up at him in wonder.

“Hi, sweetie. I’m sorry I was gone for so long. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to come back and stay forever.” He spoke gently and Amaryllis looked like she was really thinking it over. She stared at him, scrutinizing his face, his clothes, his hands, the way he was sitting. Finally, she shakily stood from your lap and you and Caleb both held out your hands, not touching her but there if she needed it, as she walked closer to him. In the background you could hear the shuffling of a muted scuffle but paid no mind, at least not yet. From up close, she scrutinized him again, looking at his face and his hands the most before she grabbed one of his hands— hands that dwarfed her entirely— and used it for balance before she twisted and sat in his lap.

“Okie Daddy.” She said it with such finality that you would have thought her older than 21 months. With a relieved huff of a laugh, Caleb gently tucked her to his chest in a hug that she returned. He was so happy and relieved that a tear slid down his cheek but when Amaryllis saw it, patted his cheek and kissed it the way you always did when she was sad, “No cry Daddy. Happy.” She instructed and he grinned even wider.