Nerd Attack

And then she grew conscious in ME3 when she became a teacher for a bunch of teenagers and she was like, "I guess I should wear a strap shirt(?) and a jacket. It's not a good idea to show your rack on the battlefield anyways, duh, Miranda. 🙄"

The storyline between femshep and Miranda is quite powerful. At the start of ME2, Miranda is blindly loyal to Cerberus. She is highly aware she is superior in terms of her biotic powers, enhancements, looks and intelligence. Then comes along femshep in all her glory, brought back from the dead.

Miranda tells us that she doesn't have what Shepard has - the ability to make people follow them to battle: ride-or-die loyalty. A great example is when she is an option to be a leader for the other team at the Collector's Base. Jack is the first one (bc she'll get distracted by her bubbly butt) to reject Miranda being leader. Yet, one order from Shepard and Miranda is the leader. No denial from others.

We see Miranda let down her guard and start to confide with Shepard about her sister. When her sister is safe, we earn Miranda's trust and loyalty for the rest of the game.

In ME3, Miranda leans on Shepard more - while still keeping a small distance. She lets her know that her sister is missing again, she asks for Alliance resources, and Shepard warns her about Kai Leng. They built a relationship of trust - a trust so strong that Miranda confesses she wanted a control chip inputted into Shepard during the Lazarus Project.

The Citadel DLC highlights the side of Miranda we don't get to explore: her trying to be normal and relax. She has spent a majority of her life as a "legacy" for her father, running away, and then being a reliable tool for the Illusive man. However, Shepard is the only leader that treats her like a comrade, a human being that isn't perfect. Miranda demands such high standards for herself because that's how she has survived for this long. With Shepard's influence, she finally chooses morals over results. The best example is her resignation from Cerberus when the Illusive Man can't convince Shepard to preserve the Collector's Base.

Whether you ship her romantically or not with femshep, I greatly enjoy their storyline throughout ME2 and 3. I know she was SUPPOSE to be a romance option for both fem and male shep, it truly was a disservice to not make her a romance option for femshep. But hey, at least we know she is Shepard's "space diva".

However, if ME3 let Miranda return as a squad member, the game would take like 8 hrs to finish. She has all the Cerberus intel, she has been in the Illusive Man's office where we kill Kai Leng, she probably would have found her sister sooner, and she would have needed Alliance resources sooner or later (we know because she asks Shepard).

I get she needed to save Oriana alone because too many people involved could fuck her up (cough cough Niket).

Then in the other room is Jack and Miranda are alone together where you can "Support Friendship".

Just saying, it's interesting the game sections off those duos in the second phase of the party (energetic route).

It's no secret that Miranda doesn't know how to be normal. She doesn't understand baking, how to give Oriana tips about boys, and, in the Shadowbroker DLC, we can assume she would suck so much on dating apps. (I know she was using it to get pregnant to try and prove she isn't infertile - but you get my point.) So here's my personal headcannons about Miranda trying to be "normal".

Her uniform has built in gloves so we never see her hands but I like to think she's shit at painting her nails. She can do it but it's messy and all over the place. She gets frustrated and doesn't like the feeling of waiting for nail polish to dry. She's learning so she can do this Oriana. Or just let Oriana do it for her. Oriana would definitely want acrylic long, sharp nails and confused the hell out of Miranda.

Miranda has a shit sense of style...she knows the basics: work uniform, armour, PJs, formal wear, and maybe casual clothes. But if you ask her to try to be stylish, she doesn't understand. She appreciates fashion, but doing it herself? She'll commit a fashion nightmare.

Miranda was genetically created for her looks. I like to think that makeup is actually not her thing. She knows the basics: foundation, mascara, and lipstick. Oriana would ask her about blush, contour, lip liner, concealer, eyeshadow, fake eyelashes, etc. Miranda would have no clue and just copy and paste the "How-To" beauty articles to Oriana.

Miranda would try her best to be a fun older sister but, at the end of the day, Oriana has to teach her to let loose. When they go shopping, Miranda would buy items that are more practical (like she's preparing for a mission) while Oriana buys items because she wants to waste credits.

Miranda would suck at all types of games - even if it's a first person shooter. "If this was real, he would be dead." "Why do I need to buy a DLC if I bought the game?" "What is so entertaining about slicing fruit as a ninja?" "Candy crush is stupid (she can't get past level 1)". She'll keep playing the games so she can be somewhat competent with Oriana.

Miranda doesn't know how to relax. She always feels like she needs to be working. Oriana has to take away her omni-tool and Miranda fidgets. Oriana lets her play with a needoh or fidget toy. Miranda, at first, is like, "What is this? I don't need it, Ori." But somehow she has a collection of them the next time they hang out.

"I didn't know you kidnapped a child." Like bro...the game made it clear that Niket knew what Miranda went through so why would it be a good idea to leave Oriana behind?

Jackanda (Jack x Miranda) is so funny to me and I ship these two so much.

1. If you bring Miranda to recruit Jack, Jack doesn't waste any time calling Miranda a Cerberus cheerleader.

2. If you ask Jack about Jacob and Miranda, she's basically like, "Jacob? He's okay, I guess, I don't know. But Miranda's a CERBERUS BITCH".

3. In the Shadowbroker DLC, you can see records of Jack researching about Miranda Lawson. This might mean Jack didn't know who she is or knows little about her. Jack saw a beautiful woman with "fantastic tits" and her "bubbly butt" with a huge letter C on her uniform and went, "Yep, a Cerberus CHEERLEADER."

4. If you bring Jack to Miranda's loyalty mission, the only commentary she says was when Captain Enyala mentions Cerberus dressing Miranda like a whore and Jack is like, "Hahaha, that's funny. Can we recruit her?" Meanwhile Jack is wearing nipple straps in my playthrough...

I've read so many jackanda fics where it's Miranda pining or falling in love with Jack in her perspective. That's great and all but now I would kill to read more fics about Jack being conflicted about Miranda and falling for her. Like Jack is conflicted that she's physically attracted to Miranda but she's working under Cerberus...

She spends most of ME2 constantly attacking Miranda any chance she gets. It's just a shame that the developers didn't do more if you brought them to each other's loyalty mission. We do get the scene where Jack confronts Miranda to admit about Pragia and how that's all Cerberus. If you have enough paragon, you can get them to settle their issues later - but we don't really see that unless you play the ME3 Citadel party DLC.

In that DLC, time has passed. Jack is a teacher and Miranda is on the run. When they meet up, Jack is still attacking her but it's with less bite. When you recommend that they just kiss and get it over with, it turns into those high school "ugh, omg now you made it weird because you said it" but they don't say no 👀👀👀.

But most importantly, when Miranda admits she's wrong about Jack and Jack seems surprised by Miranda's change of heart - she tries to shake it off by being all mean again: "I still hate you but you got fantastic tits."