hodgepodge

As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure.

On Emet-Selch, Golems and מת vs. אמת

Contemplating various things here and there has made me wonder if the writers of FFXIV considered Jewish history and lore when writing and naming Emet-Selch. 

If you translate Emet-Selch''s name, the 'Emet' part in Hebrew, אמת, means 'truth.' Selch doesn't directly equate to a word, but I've read things saying it could be 'shelkha' (your) or 'selach' (forgiveness). So you would either have "forgive the truth" or "your truth." 

That's telling enough for our erstwhile frenemy, but then you get to other places the word 'emet' appears in Jewish lore: golems.  There's a lot to be said about golems and I am not always particularly happy with the name being used in video games and fantasy, but the word means something different now than it originally did and stories change over time and all. So we're not going to get into that here. What we are going to talk about is how a mainstay in a lot of golem lore is that they have the word 'emet' inscribed on their foreheads or on their chests. What if you need to deactivate the golem, temporarily or permanently? You take away the first letter, the א (yes, remember in Hebrew one reads right to left, so that is the first letter of the world) and that gives you 'met', מת, Which means 'dead.' 

The golem in many stories, like the Golem of Prague, started out as a protector and defender, but eventually caused so much carnage he had to be stopped. So roll that over in your mind again: Emet-Selch is the Convocation member in charge of the underworld. He later has a 'third eye' on his forehead, sort of like a golem mark. In Shadowbringers he seems to vacillate between cruelty and protectiveness. And, we learn in Endwalker, he missing a very crucial part of his memories that were deliberately taken away. 

End result...the Hades/Emet-Selch in Elpis becomes an Ascian who commits countless acts of mass murder and other atrocities. Truth turns to death. At the end of Shadowbringers, the Warrior of Light and Scions have no choice but to stop him.

Which suits his role in the story down to the ground.

Don't threaten to do it, go research it, and actually give it a go!!! Most of the books for old crafts are out of copyright. Even if you don't get a job at whatever you try, or hell, even of you don't become in any way good at it, just learning and trying something new is good for you, and it gives you a greater understanding and appreciation for things.

does not want to be a dull

husk of a human.

“Beating” mental illness is actually the norm, not the exception. Most people who have a major depressive episode never have another one. 80% of people who survive their first suicide attempt never make a second attempt. 93% of Borderline Personality Disorder patients achieve remission. Up to 74% of people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder achieve significant clinical improvement in their symptoms, and 20% achieve full remission. Half of Generalized Anxiety Disorder patients achieve remission after the acute phase of treatment. Even disorders with relatively low rates of remission - bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoid personality disorder - generally become milder and easier to manage as you age. Psychiatric symptoms tend to peak in your 20s and generally drop off as you get older, especially if you seek treatment. 

This is why the narratives we use to talk about mental illness matter so much. Right now, the dominant narrative is that mental illness is “an imbalance in the brain” and that it’s largely something that people are born with. There are upsides and downsides to this. The upside is that it promotes the idea that mental illness is not the ill person’s fault, and it helps us understand that mental illness can impact anyone, regardless of their life circumstances. The downside, however, is that it’s sort of given us this idea that mental illness is inborn and unchangeable. People have taken on the idea that “that’s just how my brain is”, when the reality is that, for most people, mental illness is less of a stable trait for them, and more of just a shitty thing that they are going through for a little while. The idea that mental illness is just “in your brain” also erases the very real connection between your life circumstances and your mental health - while it’s very true that a wealthy person in a happy marriage can become depressed, it’s also very true that living in poor conditions and being in an abusive marriage can be the cause of depression, and that improving your life circumstances can lessen or eliminate mental health conditions. 

If you have a mental health condition, it’s very important that you not resign yourself to the idea that you’re going to be like this forever. Chances are, you won’t. Even if you have a mental health condition that is associated with low rates of remission, it is possible to make leaps and bounds in your functioning, and to get to a point where managing your condition becomes second nature to you. Our understanding of mental illness is improving every year, and new therapies and treatments are becoming available all the time. If you seek treatment and do your best to manage your condition, you have every reason to believe that you will make huge improvements. 

I suddenly developed severe OCD when I was 18/19 that lasted until my mid 20s. It was incredibly scary to have my brain just flip a switch like that. The idea that there’s no cure for it and no going back was even more terrifying! And actually if I thought it was going to just be That Bad forever I don’t think I’d have lived through it. But I think deep down part of me held onto the idea that I could somehow magically turn the ocd switch off and go back to normal. Which…okay that was unrealistic.

But like. There’s a middle ground there. I’m almost 30 now and I still have OCD but it’s SO much better and it’s manageable now. It’s more like an annoying fly buzzing around my head that I have to swat at than this all consuming thing that engulfs every second of my day. I used to have panic attacks multiple times a day, or have these prolonged anxiety attacks that lasted weeks. I haven’t had the prolonged attacks since I got prescribed medication for acute panic episodes, though, because now I can cut them off before it gets that bad. My obsessive intrusive thoughts used to take up every second of my day and my compulsions would make it almost impossible to move at times. But now they’re more like an annoying chore I have to do. Like when you’re really focused on something then suddenly have to pee and it’s like ugggh why does my bladder do this.

Like. Okay I do have spikes of moments where my OCD gets a little worse for a bit. Especially if something else stressful is going on in my life. But I’m more able to handle it now because I have the tools too, I’m starting to identify triggers, and it’s always temporary and never quite as awful as those first several years.

Tumblr en concreto es muy anglocentrista y un gran número de los usuarios no habla más que inglés. Si quieres que tus cosas lleguen a gente con gustos u opiniones similares, escribirlo en inglés asegura que la gente por lo menos lo pueda leer. Suma a esto el hecho de que bastantes series y tal son originalmente de habla inglesa (y a veces ni se traducen a tu lengua madre), lo que crea un fandom principalmente angloparlante.

Más allá de eso, también hay que tener en cuenta las diferencias culturales que surgen entre fandoms de distintos idiomas. Por ejemplo, durante mucho tiempo el fandom de Vocaloid angloparlante y el hispanohablante han chocado con respecto a temas como la piratería. En ocasiones es complicado manejar estas expectativas, y si sabes varios idiomas, peor incluso.

A mí me gustaría subir cositas en español y encontrar a gente que comparta mis gustos, pero en Tumblr en concreto es casi imposible. Tumblr ya es de por sí mucho más «nicho» en espacios hispanohablantes que otras RRSS como TikTok o Instagram, y si tus intereses no son muy populares, despídete.

La lingüística de los espacios de fans también está hipercentrada en el inglés. No es una pareja, es un ship; no es un universo alternativo, es un AU; no es destripar, es hacer spoiler, etc. Incluso las siglas: en español es LGTB, pero lo que sueles ver es LGBT. Parece una tontería, pero esta disonancia cognitiva hace que resulte muchísimo más complicado hablar en tu propio idioma en un fandom. Por no hablar de las innumerables referencias a posts o a memes... en inglés todo, por supuesto. Como te atrevas a hacer cualquier referencia cultural no inglesa, no te entiende nadie. Pierde la gracia.