no bark and all bite

awesome that you can form a bond through gay sex which neither of you are engaging in, you're just both thinking about it really hard

one day you just wake up to 30 dms from your mutual across the world and they're like imagine if these characters were trapped in bikini bottom and they had to fuck or die and you're like, yeah tell me more

“See, they say they'll stop once you admit the truth, but that's not how it works. They can't tell what the truth is, so they just keep hurting you until they're satisfied you seem desperate enough. What you actually say doesn't matter- it's all in the delivery.”

that’s my emotional support hostage

Don't be shackled by the idea that going out can only be done with a group of friends, learn to feel comfortable going alone [remembers that encouraging consumerism isn't progressive] into the deep dark woods

Living weapon whumpee who wouldn't know how to properly use a fork and knife even if their life depended on it because they were never given access to such luxuries, vs living weapon whose table manners are beyond perfect because their handler/owner has an image to maintain, and they must play into it.

my buddy says the craziest stuff when i make him plead for his life