Discovering an unnamed crater on the moon that no human has seen with the naked eye before and requesting that it be named Carroll after your late wife is quite possibly the most romantic gesture I’ve ever witnessed

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Discovering an unnamed crater on the moon that no human has seen with the naked eye before and requesting that it be named Carroll after your late wife is quite possibly the most romantic gesture I’ve ever witnessed

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My captain told me her convicts kept disappearing in the blood ocean so I asked how many convicts she has and she said she just goes to the prison and gets a new convict afterwards so I said it sounds like she’s just feeding convicts to the blood ocean and then she started crying.
I wanna do something perverted like hold your hand forever
people who use the 👀 emoji in work chats to mean something to the effect of 'i saw your reply' freak me out PLEASE use the thumbs up emoji like a goddamn professional, 👀 is for the other group chat i've got open where someone just linked a fic examining the religious implications of fingering your frenemy's stab wound

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me.
To give more context: The reviewer was Jean Lorrain, who also was gay. Both showed up to the duel and both missed on purpose.
gay people can never just ask each other out
i hate when people are like “i really understand what it’s like to be Prey… to look up into the jaws of a predator and know it’s my purpose to be Consumed…” like bitch no, prey runs away, you’re some other shit
i know what its like to be Burger 🍔....
"Omg, I love these! They go up to size 6X AND they have pockets?! Wow!! But do you have anything longer?" Sure do, no problem!!
"YES these are great!!! But what about.. longer?" I gotcha!! Comin' right up!
"Now that's what I'm talkin' about! But... how about if I'm feeling like it's the kinda day where I need my clothing to be bifurcated???" Never fear, joggers are here!
*wild cheering* /scene
🖤witchvamp.com🖤 (ᴾˢ: ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ˢᵉᵉᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵖʳᵉᵒʳᵈᵉʳˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵒᵖᵉⁿ ⁿᵒʷ)
Don’t make me put your ass in the sealbarrow

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Mastercard's new policy unfairly targets the adult content industry, making sex workers more vulnerable, especially Black trans women. It mu
Call the numbers. Sign the petition.
visa website
mastercard website
for scrolling to the bottom and 'contacting' there, if email is more your thing.
Call script because phone calls are harder to ignore than emails:
"Hi, I'm calling to tell you that the reports you received of sexually abusive content on Steam and itch.io are fraudulent and were made by religious extremist groups.
As a [insert company] customer I'm expressing my discontent and requesting that you rescind your demands to these platforms."
Mastercard and visa have reported to a couple news outlets that they are currently being swamped with calls and complaints. Keep up the pressure and try to (politely) insist that you leave a complaint via phone instead of letting the rep direct you to emails. It's way easier to be overwhelmed by a much smaller number of calls so each one counts for a bit more!
This blsky thread has scripts and hotlines so if you wanna reblog this version instead that would be appreciated!!
Local house witch telling you to please learn basic housekeeping skills.
It’s not your fault if no one ever taught you but YouTube is a magical place and can teach you at your own pace.
Someone asked me what housekeeping skills I’d recommend learning.
Keep in ming that this is not me shaming you, I know you have your reasons, folks. This is just a guy who enjoys clean spaces asking that you start learning now.
Here’s what I suggest as an adult who has lived with other adults who didn’t have housekeeping skills:
First and foremost, learn about all the places in your house that need to be cleaned and understand how often they should be cleaned. the American Cleaning Institute (I guess that’s a thing) has a good article about basic cleaning info. Plus this video on cleaning tips is great!
Learn how to do your dishes. HOT water is the only way to clean your dishes.
Learn how to clean your shower head, especially if you live in a place with hard water. Same goes for your sinks.
Learn how to do your laundry correctly. Even without the whole “separating whites and colors” thing, there are things you need to learn about washing your clothes. Learn what the tags mean, too.
Also, you don’t have to use fabric softener and you shouldn’t use it on towels or any fabric meant to absorb. (Learn about laundromats) And please learn how to clean out your dryer vent, it’s a safety hazard!
Get a disinfecting cleaner for your high-touch areas, especially the gross ones like the bathroom. Just because it doesn’t look dirty, doesn’t mean it’s clean!
Learn how to sweep, mop, and vacuum effectively.
You’ll also want to make sure to change out your home’s air filters.
TL;DR, here are some cleaning videos.
How to Clean Everything in Your Bathroom
How to Clean Everything in Your Kitchen
Livingroom Cleaning Routine
How to Clean Everything in Your Bedroom
Now these resources are not the end-all-be-all, but I think if you don’t know much about cleaning your space this is a good way to start.
here’s some of the things that are helping me actually clean (as an adult who had messy parents, and has a hard time getting threw my nurodivergency about cleaning specifically) that may be helpful to you:
Favorite Cleaning Book: it helps you work through the emotional side of cleaning (and other care tasks)
Current Favorite Decluttering Method/Concept: it helps you know how much is too much to keep and how to get started when you’re overwhelmed. (having too much stuff makes it incredibly hard to clean/organize.)
Basic Cleaning Skills: this channel is amazing! this man has a special interest in cleaning and cleans people’s spaces who deal nurodivergence that make it hard to clean. he does this for free (or at a deficit because he pays for supplies and dumpsters and transport and such) and does it all with empathy and kindness working With the people as much as people can handle instead of just coming in to “fix” an issue. these videos are a bit different from his usual ones, (the last one’s most like his usual videos) but i find having the sped up cleaning videos with a voiceover can help fill in for body doubling when im too ashamed to bring people into my messy spaces.
I’m gonna queue this as well so you’ll be seeing it again from me in a few months without any comments on it, but this is all good things to know
Rumi: How could you have betrayed me like this?!
Jinu: You have to understand, I didn't want to! . . . but I already designed the choreography for Your Idol and it is going to fuck SEVERELY, I can't not perform it
your freak-of-nature boyfriend that we locked up in a high security lab is loose in the fucking facility send help before he kills us all
dudeeee he just ate the research director's head off
oh god! it just slaughtered my entire department. there's blood everywhere. i managed to get out and block the door. i hope somebody comes to help soon
i hear it scrabbling around in the vents. i didn't think he could fit in there
(muffled) I can’t :(
ahahahaha you got stuck

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me: hmm time to google something
google every time: can i PLEASE have your location PLEASE 🥺🥺🥺 I need to know where you live so BAD 😫😫😫😫 Where do you fucking from?????? 😩😩😩😩😩😩