So what happens now?

Not to flex but I’ve never sent anyone anonymous hate

i won’t say anything weird anymore i prommy (different way of saying promise)

This post made me want dr pepper

*bartender slides my drink to me from across the bar and i fucking fling it back twice as hard*

OH NO OH FUCK MY LEAN LAB

What did were they making that used a shit ton of Potassium? 

Allegra Chicken

This post is absolutely incomprehensible

also i got a tiny rubber baby for 95¢

HELLO FELLOW CRIMINALS. I LIKE DOING CRIME. WHERE DO ALL OF YOU DO YOUR CRIMES? HOW MANY CRIMES DO YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS? ARE YOU PLANNING ANY CURRENT CRIMES? I AM NOT A COP

Well hang up

Imagine dating me and realizing I make random noises for no reason every 10-15 minutes.

You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice