she is so unbelievably real
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@kloudbby
she is so unbelievably real

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If you stay up late to hang out with friends I don’t think you should have to be tired in the morning. I think it should be a freebie
😙!!

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are those my only options
Talking to friends with inept parents is crazy. No wonder they’re like this if their parents kept fumbling
“I’m having trouble adapting to my adult responsibilities” well no wonder, nobody raised you 😭😭😭
Hot tip for future parents: you actually have to guide your kid to adulthood. Feeding them and waiting for them to grow up is not enough since they are not house plants. A little more thought and care is required.
for those lacking certain "adulting" skills, especially things around the house, check out:
mom, how do i...?
and dad, how do i...?
^ there are tons of other resources but these two will teach you some personal hygiene, home or apartment repairs, easy recipes and basic cleaning techniques, even how to schedule doctor's appointments
if youre a renter i cannot recommend the trans handyma'am enough, mercury is a lifesaver, and her channel and accounts are always accepting new questions
there are so many resources, a lot that you dont have to even ask for, just know how to look 🩷 much love
okay but Shane takes a hit late in the game and doesn't return so in the post-game presser somebody (they're new, they don't know any better, they will never make this mistake again) asks Ilya "how's Hollander's head" and Ilya experiences every emotion at once as he wrestles with the lingering terror of seeing the love of his life take five seconds too long to get up (he's fine) and also the sheer delight at being offered this perfect, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity on a silver platter
and with absolutely heroic effort, ilya says something entirely boring and appropriate about concussions, can't be too careful but thankfully nothing to worry about this time, Hollander will be back in time to crush the Pamphlets, yada yada, because he is a good husband and respects Shane's boundaries, and then they're walking to the car to finally go home and Shane is holding an icepack and there are still a couple reporters milling about and some asshole yells "hey Hollander, you sure your head's okay?"
and Shane looks directly into their phone camera and says, "I don’t know, you'll have to ask my husband"
great things are happening
i am an ally to all embarrassing and uncool women forever and ever

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.
It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.
i don't really think it's like that at all
well if its for fucked up and horny reasons, then i guess its okay...
sdxfcgvzdxfcgvhzdxfcgvhbjnkmlcgvhbjnk science
#the reason that lab safety regulations are the way they are is because literally all chemists are like this #as in 100% of them #no exceptions (via @prokopetz)
My grandfather got the GI bill after the war and decided to become a chemist. He was a year into his degree when he spilled something on himself in the lab. The way he told it, he watched whatever it was start to dissolve the leather apron he was wearing, thought about what it might be doing to his lungs, and after calmly removing the apron, became an architect instead. I think chemists are Like That because the sane ones all self-selected out of the pool.
My sweetie has a story about a chemistry teacher and pantyhose that still makes my brain scream.
Look, it was easy to tell if the substance was acidic or basic based on if the substance acts upon the pantyhose. And sometimes it didn't act upon her skin, which meant that it was neither!
Ilya finds an odd picture of Shane in a photo album at one point. He's maybe three, he's sitting on the massive purple sofa that Ilya has discovered the Hollanders owned when Shane was born. He's frowning, red-cheeked and he's got a strange plastic case on his thumb.
"Yuna," he says, shifting his elbows on the table to point at it. "What is this on his hand? Was broken?"
Shane's head snaps up from across the table, where he's pretending that Photo Album Time is very boring to him and not worth paying attention to. He hasn't scrolled on the article he's pretending to read for over five minutes.
"I never broke a bone as a kid," he says, brows furrowed. "Not until U13, when that fucking kid from Guelph--"
Yuna and Shane both inhale quickly through their noses in what Ilya has learned to recognize as a moderative measure, lest they start yelling about something that everyone else on Earth has forgotten about.
"No," Yuna says, once her face looks a little less intense. "No, it wasn't broken. It was this...contraption that the dentist gave us to correct his thumb-sucking. He was so mad about it, we only put it on him a few times."
"Oh, Jesus," Shane mutters, eyes going back to his phone.
"Aw," Ilya says. "Poor baby Shane." He taps his finger against one little red cheek and laughs. "You really do look so mad, sweetheart. How did you make him stop?"
"Hmm...you know, I don't remember," Yuna sighs, tilting her head. "I guess he just stopped by himself eventually. Do you remember, Shane?"
"No," Shane says, shortly.
"Of course, that didn't get rid of the oral fixation," Yuna sighs, adjusting her reading glasses as she flips the page. "The things you used to chew on, Shane. Pens and straws and--"
"Mom," Shane snaps, while Ilya vibrates beside him. "Can we not?"
"I was afraid to give him popsicles because I thought he would gnaw on the sticks until he got a splinter in his stomach."
"Mom!"
"Well, honey, it's true! And you did outgrow it eventually, so it's not as if you have to be embarrassed."
"Oh, you did?" Ilya says, shoulders shaking. "You outgrew the, uh, oral fixation?"
"Stop," Shane hisses.
"Mm. Excuse me." Ilya stands from the table and sweeps out onto the back porch, though the sliding door does nothing to prevent the sound of his guffaws from floating back into the kitchen.
"You know," Yuna says, "I'm just going to assume that this is some kind of language barrier thing--"
"Please stop."

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