This might be THE funniest AO3 notification I’ve ever gotten 😂😂

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@timeisacephalopod
This might be THE funniest AO3 notification I’ve ever gotten 😂😂

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Daddy im so horny . PLease help me
bitch im tryna survive a category 5 hurricane
We need to standardize clothing sizes. This is fucking stupid. Pass a federal law or something. I’m sick of this shit.
If only there was a way to associate a physical length with a number. Like, maybe we could put marks on a long piece of tape or something, evenly spaced, and then you could, like, count how many marks long something is?
I'm probably not making any sense, this is a dumb idea, sorry (/s)
you want to measure how many “marks” long something is? Sounds communist, it’ll never work
The horror/ spooky/ creepy stories genre has such a ridiculous problem with describing anything Indigenous as like... World bendingly supernatural and it's actually so exhausting. "This is a sacred site/ item/ piece of land" and then people end up haunted by essentially Indigenous spirits be them "ancestors" or some other nebulous spiritual being connected to whatever Native culture is being bastardized is such a through line in a lot of the "spooky" genre and it pisses me off.
First off there's no reason to assume exclusively Indigenous artifacts/ ancestors/ land is So Inherently Cursed by the power of their beliefs that it'll literally haunt you if you mess with that stuff thousands of years later. And the only time curses pop up with other races it's like cursed Egyptian tombs, or various other PoC cultures. I guess us white folk don't care enough about each other, our lands, or our ways of life to haunt the great beyond for basically ever, apparently. And ascribing deeply mystical/ magical qualities to Native peoples and cultures is fucking weird and racist when there's no need to assume their stuff is uniquely spiritual.
Besides that, if these stories about fucking around with Native ways of life had any actual weight and truth you'd think they'd have been a major factor in oh, idk, the history of colonialism instead of white people looking to get a scare from each other telling scary stories or whatever.

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just because someone can articulate their point better doesn’t make them right, it makes them articulated.
and you aren’t stupid for having trouble articulating yourself.
Rich people are literally just lying about being good at money btw
Rich people will also sometimes purposefully deprive their children of basic life skills, like cleaning and cooking and doing laundry, in order to sabotage their kids' ability to leave
This is one of the many reasons it's not actually useful to try to motivate or teach people to do cleaning and self-care through shame - a lot of parents do this, across economic levels. Imho it's much better and more effective to say "And if you needed me to tell you that, then I'm glad I told you that" (thanks glasses brian gilbert guy)
Fun facts about immigration in the US you might want to share with friends and relatives for no particular reason
The United States actually had open borders until 1924. There was no cap on immigration, and people were only denied access based on race and disability. (NOTE: Open borders means little to no formal restriction on movement across borders. There was still terrible discrimination.) (x)
The Immigration Act of 1924 had an overall negative impact on the economy (x) (x) and foreign relations with Asia, but Hitler praised it (x), because it was just blatant eugenics (x).
ICE didn't exist until 2003 (x)
Being undocumented is not actually classified as a crime (x). If it was, cases would be handled by the judicial branch, and defendants would receive the benefits of due process. But because it isn't, it is handled by the executive branch, and defendants do not get due process, in clear violation of their rights. That means no lawyers, no jury, and no real judge.
Immigration "judges," who are not required to have nearly as much experience or education in law as real judges (x), face no consequences for wrongful deportation, they are only really evaluated based on how many people they process.
While it's difficult to pin down an exact number, there have been an estimated 4,000 wrongful detention/deportations by 2010 alone (x - this one suggests a possible 20,000) (x - this one confirms over a thousand), with several reported on in mainstream media (Mark Lyttle, Pedro Guzman, Roberto Dominquez, Andres Gonzalez, Esteban Tiznado-Reyna).
In April 2025, there were several more confirmed wrongful deportations, including a 2-year-old citizen deported to Honduras (x) (x), a 10-year-old with brain cancer on her way to a medical appointment (x), and a 7-year-old and her 4-year-old brother with stage 4 cancer (x).
There were more deaths in ICE concentration camps in 2025 than almost any year prior, tying for first place with 2003 (x). If nothing is done about it, that number will increase in 2026.
So many people hate their own body so much and are so casually fatphobia toward themself and the thing is, when you're not, when you've healed yourself enough that you can look at yourself and say "my body is just a body that does body things" it becomes nearly impossible to be around people who openly hate their bodies. It feels like they're flinging their muck all over you, and you gotta shake yourself out so it doesn't stick. And misery really does love company. They'll talk about how fat they are and how they can't eat this or that or wear certain clothes or cut their hair short, and they want you to lament with them. And you gotta not, okay? You gotta not. You gotta walk away from that shit.
And you HAVE to pay attention to the things you say about your own body in front of other people, lest you become the person flinging your muck onto others.
"incurious" still GOAT insult. You could be better but you're not. You could learn but you won't, and for no good reason, just a base dispositional apathy. Get fucked

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I think they should make the boner pills in pink instead of blue just to see if cishet men can handle it
I love vague labels that make people go "but that's confusing" or "but that could mean anything" Good. Keep guessing lol
"Queer doesn't actually tell me anything" who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.
Cannot stand the trend of censoring any and all words that describe concepts that might make you go :( especially when the censoring is done in that quarter-assed way that's just 'did a lil scribble over a vowel so you know that I know this word describes a no-no."
I'm not even going to be vague about what sparked this. Do not fucking censor the word 'stole.' I'm at my fucking limit.
Who does this benefit. Who is made safer by this. Whose life is made better by this. Who is out there going "Wow I sure am glad I didn't have to see that word without it scribbled on a little. That really reduced the emotional impact of reading that word." Can I kill them?
Seeing he's going to be in another big franchise this morning.

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