This might be THE funniest AO3 notification Iâve ever gotten đđ
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@timeisacephalopod
This might be THE funniest AO3 notification Iâve ever gotten đđ

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30s-into-40s moment in the 6ème arrondissement.
I saw this sign on my way to get coffee this morning and. I mean...
thing i've noticed: tumblr users will be like "ugh tumblr users can't take a joke!!" and then the joke is always "kill all [minority group]"âŚ.. call me woke, but i think, if you can't handle being told that your "joke" is fucked-up & bigoted, maybe don't tell fucked-up & bigoted "jokes"..?
you need to get it out of your mind that psychosomatic illness is just âmaking up symptomsâ when itâs actually much more like your body is being actively poisoned by chemicals released from your brain
if youâre so stressed that youâre puking your guts up every morning, are unable to eat or keep anything down, you canât look at light without feeling infinitely worse and feel exhausted and in pain all the time (or whatever your particular stress induced symptom set is) youâre not just feeling like that because youâve willed it into being. your body is begging for relief from the constant barrage of stress hormones and it requires the fundamental source of stress to go away, not just distracting yourself from the symptoms
just because the root is psychological doesnât mean the result isnât an entirely physical process.
This and also "your body is desperately trying to alert you to the fact that stress is killing you"
Doctor, looking at my neck x-ray: âThe muscles of your neck are in such spasm right now that your spine has lost its curve. No wonder youâre in such pain. What the heck did you do to yourself?â
Me: âI work on a computer all day.â
Doctor: âAh. That will do it. Right, so hereâs a script for anti-inflammatories and a muscle relaxer. Also try hot and cold on it, 15 minutes each, and then gentle movements between each round. Youâll feel better in about a week.â
Me: âIn a week Iâm still going to need to work on the computer.â
Doctor: âAnd hereâs also a script for 6 months of Physical Therapy.â
Me: âIn 6 months Iâm still going to need to work at a computer.â
Doctor: âAnd take breaks and do stretches between meetings?â
Me: âThey book me in back to back meetings where I work. I eat lunch at my computer. I have to excuse myself to go pee.â
Doctor: ââŚâ
Me: ââŚâ
Doctor: âUm⌠it sounds like this job is actually, literally, killing you? Can you possibly work someplace else?â *
âââ
*note: It wasnât said as flippant advice, and the doctor was 100%. right. After I got a different job â which took a WHILE â it was in a different corporate culture, one that didnât believe in filling the day with meetings. I was able to do the stretches I was supposed to do, and also walk at lunch, and my neck is much better now. Not everyone has this choice. But maybe, if your job is killing you too, start thinking about an escape plan. Your body will eventually turn you into a pretzel otherwise. Nothing psychosomatic about that.

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I think thereâs a tendency to think of aspecs as âlackingâ something that the majority of people have, even if theyâre not judging, or if theyâre aspec themselves. And itâs easy to do when society and labels revolve around attraction and certain types of relationships, but I think we need to remember that we are not living our lives without something, we are living our lives with a different mode of operation, different priorities, rich lives and so on. We are working on different axes, not the same axis at zero
wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic
every day i get a little madder about the âdream jobâ narrative⌠all i want is to have a job that benefits society somewhat, doesnât abuse me, and lets me live a happy life outside of my job lol. jobs should not be (and arguably canât be) cosmic destinies and identities
friends, if I can give you one piece of advice for those of you who are new to work, or are about to enter the workforce, especially if you have any sort of office job:
Do not work on your days off.
"But--"
DO NOT WORK ON YOUR DAYS OFF.
Do not work on your breaks
Do not âanswer a few emailsâ on your vacation
Do not work off the clock
Doing this doesnât reward you with more money or whatever. It rewards you with more work.

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Submitter comment: I'd like to submit this '[s]tudy of defensive behavior of a venomous snake as a new approach to understand snakebite' not for it's topic (worth studying!) but for it's insane methodology, which... well, I'll just let the researcher speak for himself:
[Q: Why did you decide to do this experiment?
A: Snake behavior has been generally neglected as a field of research, especially in Brazil. And most studies donât examine what factors make them want to bite. If you study malaria, you can research the parasite that causes the diseaseâbut if you donât study the mosquito that carries it, you will never solve the problem. Up until now, the popular wisdom was that the jararaca would only attack if you touched it or stepped on it. But that was not what we found.
Q: Why did you need to be the victim?
A: The best way to do this research is to put snakes and a human together. In this case, the human was me. We put the snakes inside a ring on the floor of our lab until they got used to it, then I stepped in wearing special protective boots. I stepped close to the snake and also lightly on top of it. I didnât put my whole weight on my foot, so I did not hurt the snakes. I tested 116 animals and stepped 30 times on every animal, totaling 40,480 steps.]
From the recent (aptly named) interview: Researcher steps on deadly vipers 40,000 times to better predict snakebites
it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the womenâs side
ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor
and while weâre at it, Iâm done worrying about cameltoe. I donât have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business
SAME WITH NIPPLES!!!!
actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now

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wtf are borders anyway. like yeah u were born on this beautiful earth buuuuut đ u cant go here. or here either
A forever banger from da share zone
âThere are no female aliens in our game because we donât know how to make a female version of this alienâ You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. Thatâs it. Thatâs literally all you have to doÂ
Make her shorter if you must
Make her BIGGER if you arenât a cowardÂ
Take your male alien bodytype, make her like 4 feet taller, give her an extra set of arms and sharper teeth, and as muscular as shit.
Boom.
Give her natural camouflage and make the man like this
Make them exactly the same size and shape but different colors
Give him a huge flock of babies following him around to show off what a great lay he is
Surprise mPregantĂŠ
Exactly the same but one of them has a cool hat (you decide which)
Give her a sensible haircut for successful hunting while he has a big dumb mullet so big and dumb the food can see him coming and book it
Please just for the love of pie do not begin and end with boobs
you can have fun with Sexual Diamorphism