klfg

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

the context for the blood pressure cuff post is that for a long time i kind of assumed fibro was The Thing Where I Am Ambiently In Pain All The Time because no one ever really explained it to me, but then recently experiencing an echocardiogram made it very obvious to me that actually pressure sensitivity is a huge part of my fibro experience, so i started asking "how much is this supposed to hurt?" and it turns out that a bunch of things actually just don't hurt for most people. that post has gotten a handful of replies going "blood pressure cuffs can also hurt if you're fat and the cuff is too small!" and that's probably true, but my experience is that blood pressure cuffs have always hurt, since as far back in my childhood as i can remember, including before i was fat. so i'm trying to gauge whether this implies i've had fibro the whole time and just didn't have any way of understanding that something was wrong until the ambient pain started, rather than it being something that started when i was an adult.

i wish i could confront my biofamily with "well, you treated me like a failed girl and a wimp, and it turns out i'm intersex and literally experience more pain than most people" but this will not actually result in an apology or anything lol

they were always like "well if there are barriers in your way you have to #tryharder and not use them as an excuse" and i wish i could convey to them the extent to which i was trying. real "putting in 200% effort to get 50% as far" hours. at some point you have to admit you literally physically can't put in the amount of effort it'd take to match the results of the people around you, you know? but every time i got a diagnosis that proved i was on hard mode, the verdict wasn't "oh my god, i'm so sorry i treated you that way when the thing i was mad at you about wasn't under your control" it was "well you should have tried harder" L M A O

and once again i'm sure it was really scary for my sister to suddenly get sick and end up in the hospital and everything but it stung so fucking bad to see her get real attention and consideration after i'd gone through so many years of medical neglect. i'm sure from the outside it didn't seem like a double standard because her drop in health was really quite dramatic but from the inside it felt truly wretched to hear people go "[sister]'s celiac suddenly activated and her health is in huge danger!!!!!!" and then turn to me and go "you also have celiac and it probably activated when you were like 3 but we aren't interested in considering the implication that this has had meaningful effects on your health and body. you should have tried harder to push past your symptoms."

the context for the blood pressure cuff post is that for a long time i kind of assumed fibro was The Thing Where I Am Ambiently In Pain All The Time because no one ever really explained it to me, but then recently experiencing an echocardiogram made it very obvious to me that actually pressure sensitivity is a huge part of my fibro experience, so i started asking "how much is this supposed to hurt?" and it turns out that a bunch of things actually just don't hurt for most people. that post has gotten a handful of replies going "blood pressure cuffs can also hurt if you're fat and the cuff is too small!" and that's probably true, but my experience is that blood pressure cuffs have always hurt, since as far back in my childhood as i can remember, including before i was fat. so i'm trying to gauge whether this implies i've had fibro the whole time and just didn't have any way of understanding that something was wrong until the ambient pain started, rather than it being something that started when i was an adult.

i wish i could confront my biofamily with "well, you treated me like a failed girl and a wimp, and it turns out i'm intersex and literally experience more pain than most people" but this will not actually result in an apology or anything lol

they were always like "well if there are barriers in your way you have to #tryharder and not use them as an excuse" and i wish i could convey to them the extent to which i was trying. real "putting in 200% effort to get 50% as far" hours. at some point you have to admit you literally physically can't put in the amount of effort it'd take to match the results of the people around you, you know? but every time i got a diagnosis that proved i was on hard mode, the verdict wasn't "oh my god, i'm so sorry i treated you that way when the thing i was mad at you about wasn't under your control" it was "well you should have tried harder" L M A O

and once again i'm sure it was really scary for my sister to suddenly get sick and end up in the hospital and everything but it stung so fucking bad to see her get real attention and consideration after i'd gone through so many years of medical neglect. i'm sure from the outside it didn't seem like a double standard because her drop in health was really quite dramatic but from the inside it felt truly wretched to hear people go "[sister]'s celiac suddenly activated and her health is in huge danger!!!!!!" and then turn to me and go "you also have celiac and it probably activated when you were like 3 but we aren't interested in considering the implication that this has had meaningful effects on your health and body. you should have tried harder to push past your symptoms."

I am an old bitch - 20/20.

I have sent and received faxes -today- /medical field

I pay rent with checks. Fuck convenience fees.

i hate ai and the government

I have a soft spot for the weird tradition of having the actual artists record gibberish versions of songs for sims soundtracks because it enabled me to do this awful bit where I'd randomly insert a simlish version of a track into a playlist and see how long it took people to ask what the fuck was going on

the whole "insulting someone based on their appearance is bad because it could indirectly hurt people you like who share that feature" is a good start for unlearning body shaming but i do think we need to go further and remind people that even if there was some physical trait that was magically 10000% exclusive to conservatives and creeps and nobody else ever had it, we still shouldnt be insulting them based on that. because the problem with them is not their appearance its their ideology and actions. by insulting their appearance you arent just indirectly insulting others who look like that, youre literally not making the correct point. stay on topic ya know.

need him to be sooo weird about me