Evie

"ooouuugh the masculine urge to die poignantly on a medieval battlefield" You Are Getting Cholera On The March And Shitting Yourself To Death

hello Aesop; how's the underworld been?

Every day I wake up and Hades kicks me in the nuts.

i only like enemies to lovers if it’s gay because i think men who are mean to women don’t deserve to live

the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.

microdosing hell by being awake and literate

doing the "we are the daughters of the witches you couldn't burn" thing in a catholic country making it somewhat unclear what I'm getting at

this is an excellent question but your phone may have a concussion

we'll jump off that bridge when we get to it

bisexual terminator this russian menace that his name is ilya and he has a tender heart

ilya playing the sims. ilya voice look shane i locked hayden pike in basement

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

I really need people to realise that Ilya is functionally fluent in English even that first time in Regina. "You will not be so nice when we beat you" is a complex sentence construction! It's got a future tense and a conditional clause in it! He keeps making a couple of common-for-Russians grammar mistakes (mostly dropping words to reflect Russian sentence structure) and he has gaps in his vocabulary and listening comprehension is famously difficult, but his English is so fucking good. And you can just copy the way he talks in the show or the books! It's very consistent! Russian is way more complex than English and he definitely got some formal instruction before he went to Boston! I don't understand why he ends up talking like he's never heard of auxiliary verbs or pronoun declension before in fic when canon is so clear about his language skills

you can be both employed & way too online. it’s called “posting on the clock,” and actually, it’s praxis.

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs