NEW ACCOUNT

in 2023 my senior cat died very suddenly while i was away, my friend brought her to me and we drove as fast as we could to the emergency vet, which was over an hour away. i held her in my one arm the whole time just crying and pleading to her already dead body and telling her all the things i wish i could have told her more. i told her over and over that she was such a beautiful creature and that she deserved to have the best and safest life ever and it was just a lot of feelings. when you have a pet that you love and care for, you get to see so much of their personality, how they engage with the world, it's amazing. when she died i was distraught thinking of how scary dying must have been for her, whether or not it was painful, how much it hurt, i felt so horrible for her. driving still, so fast, in that moment, i think is when i realized that every animal on this planet experiences their life and inner world, however different it may be from ours, they still have it, they are all, in the same way that we describe ourselves as individuals - individuals. and crying about her, i just had been thinking, the only reason this is so devestating to me and not the death of every animal is because a pet is "yours" or the only animal you really know - not because her death actually meant more via being in proximity to me or a human's values. every animal's life and safety and health deserves to be considered in the way i considered hers, if that makes sense, it just really clicked for me in that moment that every single animal has their own world and is their own individual. if you see each animal in that light, you cannot in good conscious continue using them as a resource. what i realized the other day is that, most people literally do not see them as individuals, it makes so much sense why it always feels like i am arguing with the wall. the idea that the entire earth is just, something that humans deserve, by virtue of intelligence or dominance or whatever, i feel that's horrible. just because we don't understand them, are stronger than them, smarter even, doesn't just, make it okay to do what we want with them. i wish people would see that. i just cry so much remembering that people don't care

starving artist trope no joke bro </3