glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream

literally every problem i've had in my adult life has been solved by open and honest communication. which is fucking stupid, first of all

like i can't even just a little bit solve my problems with wanton violence? for real??

i'm like a caricature in a children's show. "and then Whimsy took a deep breath, made a few polite phonecalls, and everything resolved itself 🥰" fucking hell man when do i get to punch someone hard as fuck in the jaw

u ever read a fanfic so good that you want. fanfic of the fanfic

It is so fucking hot. The "real feel" today was something like 106. It's supposed to be worse tomorrow and Wednesday. Slight break on Thursday back to what it was today and maybe actual weather below 90 on Friday. The AC unit in my apartment broke and the absolute soonest I can get a replacement is Friday if I start returning the other one right now. I might melt before this week is over.

the issue with growing up in the 2000s and 2010s was like there was this really big push toward "accepting your weirdness" overall but they meant like idk wearing mismatched socks or something not being tangibly beyond the norm in any way shape or form

wait ok this is actually one that has caused some contention before when I've talked to people about it. reblog and tag whether or not you check the weather prediction every day before going out

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

"craving a food means your body needs something that food can offer" now what the fuck does my body need with an ice cream

it makes your brain happy! your body could use some joy too

no everyone shut up and listen. truths were said

reblog to give a strawberry to the person you reblogged this from

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

oh my god and it's a Canada Goose so this is the equivalent of befriending a small demon

OP you're wrong. Duck, duck is the most perfect name for a goose, ever.

Official ornithology post

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"