Empress Of Reavers

Refusing to sacrifice your health and happiness for someone is not ableist.

Holding someone accountable for their abusive behavior is not ableist.

If a relationship is no longer mutually rewarding, that is reason enough to end it. This is not ableist.

You are not obligated to stay with someone who does not enrich your life, whatever the reason. You are not a bad person if you fall out of love with someone because mental illness has destroyed your ability to communicate effectively and enjoy each other. You are not beholden to anyone; if being around someone ultimately brings you more misery than joy, you can leave.

This is not ableist.

Working at maintaining love and relationships is important. They are hard and will always be hard, and it’s important to grow and accommodate one another. But they can’t always be saved. Sometimes you have to walk away.

I am unable to do that

I am too stressed out to do that

I cannot face the humiliation of attempting to do that

My body will physically not allow me to do that

I am on the verge of a panic attack

I cannot do that

What people hear:

I am unwilling to do that

I am just shy

I am overreacting

I am lazy

I need to get more experience in social situation to help my anxiety

I need a push

Can I do it for you?

Would you like my help doing it?

Would you like to go somewhere where you feel can do that?

Is there anything I can do to either alleviate your anxiety or help you do it?

What about it can you not do? (And then, sub-sequentially, would you like help with that part/is there anything I can do to help with that)

these responses are literally SO important when you have anxiety

Sometimes things are really scary and if someone has confided in you that they can’t do something because of their anxiety, you should treat it as best you can

this is what an owl looks like without feathers 

look at it.

LET

HER 

DANCE!!!

Some people, people you know objectively suck at being a human being, will get more kudos, more comments, more recs. Write it anyway.

Some of your friends aren’t going to read what you write. Write it anyway.

Some of the people you support the most won’t support your work. Write it anyway.

Some people are going to say your characterization is 100% wrong. X would never. Write it anyway.

It’s been done before. Write it anyway.

Your writing might not measure up to the fandom greats. Write it anyway. (I can guarantee they didn’t measure up at some point either)

Some people aren’t going to rec your work. Write it anyway. (And make your own recs)

Write it anyway.

Write it anyway.

They’re taking supportive reminders of treason, murder, and tyranny and leaving the pedestals empty. People can see the pictures and read the stoies and remember that yes, these things happened, but they can also see the moment when America decided to reject the idolization of treason and terror and attempted to move forward.

THE CONFEDERATES LOST. These statues got put up because racist white people were mad that they lost and had to start treating black people as equals so they put up these cheap, mass produced statues to make themselves feel better even though THEY LOST.

Yeah. I said cheap and mass produced. These statues have neither artistic nor historical value. “Why did the statue go down so easy? Many “Lost Cause” era C monuments were mass-produced in the cheapest way possible for mass distribution. There wasn’t even a layer of the most basic mortar holding the pedestal to the base. Gravity was enough for granite. Cheap, tacky crap.” [Keep scrolling down on that link, the guy is a scholar and details about how these are cheap pieces of trash.]