Dudu Idan

Because the narcan comes from a social service designed to help people and make the world a better place while your insulin comes from a privately owned company designed to generate maximum profit at your expense.

And drink water 💦 plz

I know that no one is going to read this at all; but I have been trying to heal and release a lot of pain from my past so I can finally become a better person. I know therapy is one of the ways to fix this and trust and believe that is in my future. I have been spiritual since I discovered there was more to life than Christianity. Growing up it wasn’t the best but it wasn’t the worst. At the same time though, having parents where one works at night and the other during the day leaving you basically alone with your siblings cause you know that they need their rest so they can work and pay bills. I wasn’t the easiest child to work with I admit that. I lied about little things, hid that I wasn’t into Christianity til it got to a point where I had to say something. I don’t want to feel like I am making it seem like my parents are bad people. They’re not but at the same time they had to grow up as well. So I grew up with my parents, my mom and I clashed heads a lot. Cops were called, she packed all my stuff, made me quit my job and sent me away to my grandmothers. That was all over a boy obviously, part of my many mistakes. All I want is to be loved but not just any type of love. I want to be loved the right way. Me desperately searching for that without even really making it noticeable is what brought those who’ve ruined my whole mindset on relationships. The main thing that hurts me to this day is my ex husband. He made me feel like everything I did was wrong. He once said that “kindness breeds weakness” so that’s why he treated me the way he did. My emotions were irrational and not logical. That sad part is not only was it not like that in the beginning but I really believed him. To this day sometimes I still do. He wouldn’t show me affection, he isolated me from my family in turn making a lot of them despise me. In the beginning he said he was polyamorous but after a month or so of dating he told me that I was all he needed. I foolishly believed him. Then a year later he tells me he’s polyamorous again and he wants to have a girlfriend while he’s away at AIT(he’s military) it hurt so bad but I loved him so I allowed it. One girl he was trying to make his girlfriend didn’t even know that I existed. He told me that he wanted to have time to make her fall for him, then he would tell her about me. Knowing that it would pain her he said that the pain of leaving him would hurt her more. That’s when I realized that’s what he did to me. I was so attached and I didn’t know what to do. This man has ripped a chunk out of my hair, called me fat, called me his sister in public, refused to let me go to the hospital when I was sick. There’s just so much trauma from one person and he’s literally hindered all my relationships after him. It fucked up my whole mindset, I get so depressed that I just can’t get up but I worry so much that I’m up. Sometimes I’m okay and want to do everything but then it just comes back and I’m laying bed again. But lately after really talking to people, smoking, crying, screaming and thinking; I’m finally able to get to a point where I can start to feel better. Before I was trying to hide it all and just forget about it. Even when I don’t it’s still there. I’ve been homeless twice since then and now I finally have a place to call home. Although I have two jobs I feel slightly good about myself for once. Back then I didn’t think I was ever going to start to feel better. I just wanted to tell y’all my story and let you know that I’m finally starting to feel better

me around people I actually like and trust:

Making friends as an adult is so fucking hard already and isolating yourself from other people is a very common symptom of depression, anxiety, burnout, ocd, trauma, grief, etc. Which means that someone will do the hard work of recovery/healing and resurface back into a world where their previous friends have written them off because they stopped showing up.